Can You Love Again After Losing Your Spouse? I’d Like You to Meet Raymond

But First… I Need to Tell You What God Did in My Heart

 

Before I Introduce You to Someone…

For more than two years, you’ve walked beside me through the hardest season of my life.

You cried with me when Quintin went to Heaven.

You prayed for my children.

You celebrated the smallest victories that probably didn’t seem small to anyone else…but to me, they meant everything.

You’ve watched me wrestle with grief, faith, loneliness, and the question I never imagined I’d have to ask:

What does life look like after losing the love of your life?

You’ve watched me survive.

You’ve watched me heal.

And because you’ve walked this journey with me, I wanted you to hear this part of my story from me first.

Before I introduce you to someone…

I need to tell you what God did in my heart.

For those who don't know the day Q died, I died too and I had a hard time learning to live again. You can read about that on my blog “The Day Q Died, I Died Too“

Healing Didn’t Mean Forgetting

One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is that healing means you’re “over it.”

I don’t believe that’s true.

Healing didn’t erase my love for Quintin.

It didn’t erase almost twenty-five years of marriage of memories and over 30 years together.

It didn’t erase the tears, the anniversaries, or the moments I still wish I could pick up the phone and hear his voice.

Healing simply taught me something I never expected.

It taught me that love and hope can exist together.

Grief and gratitude can live in the same heart.

Missing someone deeply doesn’t mean you’re incapable of experiencing joy again.

For a long time, I believed honoring Quintin meant standing still.

God slowly showed me that honoring him didn’t mean refusing to live.

It meant living the life he always prayed I would have.

Healing didn’t happen in one moment.

It happened through hundreds of small acts of obedience.

Showing up.

Reading Scripture.

Being vulnerable in my grief on my public Coffee Chats.

Trusting God on days when trusting Him felt impossible.

One faithful step at a time.

If you are looking for encouragement on how to allow God to do the impossible in you please check out blog that might help below.

➡️ I shared personal blogs like

• Learning to Dance Again
• The Guilt of Being Happy Again

The Hardest Decision Wasn’t Facebook Dating

The hardest decision was believing God could still have something ahead for me.

I worried about my children.

I worried about what people would think.

I wondered if opening my heart again somehow meant I loved Quintin less.

It didn’t.

But fear has a way of making us believe things that simply aren’t true.

There were nights I prayed for clarity.

Days I wrestled with guilt.

Moments I wondered if I was confusing healing with betrayal.

Through it all, God never rushed me.

He simply kept reminding me that He wasn’t finished writing my story.

Part of that reminding was a full surrender…. you can read about why I chose to take off my wedding ring below.

➡️ Related Reading: Taking Off My Wedding Ring

God Used the People Closest to Me

My sweet daughter Ella.

And my Amazing Mom Nina.

One of the things I’ve learned is that God often speaks through the people who know us best.

For me, that included my children.

One conversation with Ella has stayed with me.

She reminded me of the story of Lot’s wife.

She gently challenged me not to spend my life looking backward.

Those words settled deep into my heart.

Around the same time, I found myself thinking often about my mom.

Her encouragement.

Her unwavering faith.

Her belief that God could redeem even the hardest chapters of our lives.

Little by little, God wasn’t asking me to forget the past.

He was inviting me to trust Him with the future.

If you are looking for encouragement in your journey, I would encourage you to look at these blogs below

➡️ Related Reading:

• Don’t Turn Back: God Is Doing a New Thing
• Can You Love Again After Losing Your Spouse?

One Quiet Step of Faith

Several months ago…

After countless prayers…

Conversations with my children…

And wrestling with the Lord…

I quietly downloaded Facebook Dating.

Even typing those words still makes me smile because I never imagined I’d say them.

I wasn’t looking for someone to replace Quintin.

No one ever could.

I wasn’t trying to force another chapter.

I simply wanted to be obedient if God happened to be opening a door I never thought would open again.

So I took one small step.

Not because I had all the answers.

But because I trusted the One who did.

I put a smile on my face despite the fear and I took the leap!

That’s Where I Met Raymond

That’s where I met a man named Raymond.

Over the last several months, we’ve quietly gotten to know one another.

We’ve prayed together.

We’ve laughed together.

We’ve shared long conversations about faith, family, grief, and God’s faithfulness.

He’s shown incredible patience while I’ve continued healing.

He’s been kind.

Respectful.

Steady.

Most importantly, he’s consistently pointed me toward Jesus instead of himself.

We’ve intentionally protected this season while it was still growing.

Not because we were hiding.

But because some chapters deserve time to develop before they’re shared with the world.

I know many of you have probably wondered if this day would ever come.

Truthfully…

There were many days I wondered the same thing.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds.

Only God does.

But I do know this:

God brought Raymond into my life at exactly the right time.

This Isn’t Really a Story About Dating

If I’m honest…

This really isn’t a story about dating.

It’s a story about God’s faithfulness.

It’s a story about learning that healing isn’t betrayal.

Joy isn’t disloyalty.

Moving forward doesn’t mean leaving someone behind.

It simply means trusting God enough to believe He still has purpose for the days ahead.

I still love Quintin.

I always will.

Nothing about this new chapter changes the incredible love story we shared.

If anything, it reminds me just how deeply I was blessed to experience that kind of love.

And it reminds me that the same God who carried me through unimaginable heartbreak is still carrying me today.

Looking for encouragement along your journey, check out the blog posts below.

➡️ Related Reading:

• Learning to Dance Again
• Don’t Turn Back: God Is Doing a New Thing
• Can You Love Again After Losing Your Spouse?

Thank You

Thank you.

Thank you for praying for me.

Thank you for praying for my children.

Thank you for allowing me to grieve honestly.

Thank you for celebrating God’s faithfulness with me.

This next chapter isn’t replacing the last one.

It isn’t rewriting history.

It’s simply another reminder that God never stopped writing my story.

And if you’re reading this wondering if He’s finished writing yours…

Can I encourage you with something He’s been teaching me?

The Author never abandons His story.

He simply turns the page when it’s time for the next chapter.

Today, I’d like you to meet someone.

His name is Raymond.

And while I’m incredibly grateful for the man you’re seeing in these photos, I hope that’s not what you remember most after reading this.

I hope you remember the God who carried me through heartbreak, gently healed my heart, and reminded me that hope is never wasted when it’s placed in Him.

This is the story of how God faithfully led two lives to intersect at exactly the right time.

It’s the story of how God never stopped writing mine. ❤️