Q- Our Beloved Husband and Father

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If you landed here on this blog post, it’s probably because of my social media post HERE about the loss of my best friend, loving husband, and incredible father Quintin.

This is the most difficult post I have ever had to write. I am writing here on my blog, as I have more freedom in what I can share and say. 

The last few weeks have been emotionally exhausting in so many ways from planning, writing eulogy’s to funeral service programs full of Q ism’s and helping my kids navigate their emotions when I don’t know how to properly navigate my own. Grief is so tricky. Grief feels like when all you want to do is go Home but you can’t. The deepest ache in your soul of that forever missing piece is hard to put into words. I will have been married to Quintin 25 years this May 29th, and have been together with him for what would have been 31 incredible years. I have known him as a friend since I was 8 years old, and I have never had to do life without this amazing man.

Sharing the details surrounding his sudden death, brings a realness to him being gone that is so incredibly painful. If I am being completely honest, I am still trying to digest everything and I am battling with the denial of him being gone as my reality. Death alone is hard to comprehend and sudden deaths are even more difficult to understand. We are struggling to pickup all the pieces of that day, but through it all God is unchanging and remains faithful. 

Even though I am a public person, my kids deserve their privacy and there are areas in my life where I deserve privacy too. I am a fixer and hope giver, so when I share publicly on my platform I want to offer solutions and hope even through my despair. 

Often, my desire is to wait for healing before sharing, but the longer I grieve the realization hits I will never be over him or completely healed. I have struggled sharing for many reasons privacy and deep sorrow as mentioned above but also to protect myself and my children from the onslaught of unwanted opinions and negativity. Don’t get me wrong, we have had countless positive messages of encouragement and for those I am so incredibly grateful. However, those negative direct messages and comments seem to cut to the core. The messages that tell me to “get it together already”, “We all already know he is dead stop talking about him and focus on my children” , “Its about time you shut down your social media to mourn stop seeking attention by constantly posting about your dead husband”; to more evil comments and messages assuming details surrounding his death and saying that clearly it was a DIY “using a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”  that serving me divorce papers would have been more sufficient. UGH! Horrific right? Reading this not only makes me sick, it is devastating as a mother to see your kids read these too. I will never understand why people think they can spew this sort of evil, but I can hear Q say “Hurt people, hurt people” and this Q'sim although not ok, is very true.

I believe in my healing and despair if I step out into the unknown and have faith, God will meet me there and not only heal me in my brokenness but help to teach others in their brokenness and heal them too. 

I don’t have it together not sure I ever will … but here I am offering what I have in my time of brokenness in hopes it will help someone in their darkest hour not to feel so alone.  

April 9th will be Forever Etched in my Memory as Day of Lasts. 

The last day I would hear your voice

The last day I would feel your touch or embrace 

The last day I would kiss your lips 

The last day I would hear your laughter 

The last day I would hear you encourage our children 

The last day I would ever see you with my earthly eyes 

I mean how could this be? Just the day before we were enjoying the eclipse together and laughing about Lulu (our squirrel hunting dog- if you were fortunate to catch the behind the scenes stories of Q and Lulu you can appreciate this comment- they were a riot together) wearing her safety glasses 

April 9th was a Tuesday- for those who don’t know Tuesdays were date days for Quintin and I. We spent our mornings together enjoying coffee and most of the time breakfast, before the business of our day got started. These date days got started in order to spend intentional time together providing a bit of a reprieve from the hustle and bustle of being parents to four amazing active kiddos. We were intentional about carving out time just for the two of us, and made it a point to schedule in our time together and prioritized it over the business of life.

This Tuesday was like any other Tuesday. Alarm went off at 6:15 got our kids off to school (minus one who was away at college) and while I was showering and getting ready Q joked and talked to a good friend on the phone before we left , Pacing in true Q fashion. If you know Quintin, you know the man literally never sat down much less was he able to be still. His constant motion is something I will greatly miss. Spring was in the air and the sun was out – it was going to be a good day. 

We enjoyed our time together at a local Cracker Barrel -sipping coffee (decaf for him of course) and talking about what the summer would be like having Kale home again, college visits for Ella, Fisher being so focused on crushing PR’s in track and how if Lily only knew how much potential she has how she would crush whatever she set her mind to.

After a good conversation, we went our separate ways. I would have normally snapped a quick selfie to remind others how important date days were and how fighting for your marriage in today’s society was so important, but on this particular day it didn’t even cross our mind. Oh how I wish we would have taken one… but I will chock this up to being in the moment with my sweet husband.

Later that afternoon, we met at the house to go to Lily’s track meet together to see her potential in action. He threw me the keys and asked me to drive because he had started not feeling well that day. 

He had been having some back issues and indigestion which was unfortunately a common occurrence for him. He had recently been having esophageal spasms and was struggling with managing them. If you have ever had them you know how incredibly painful they are it was hard to watch him go through that.  

We brought two chairs (he never sits in a chair- remember Q likes to pace) to watch Lily throw at invitationals and bring home first place on both events. Q was so proud of his little girl! He even posted about it on facebook, little did he know it happened to be his last social media post. He was such a great dad always being there to support, coach and cheer them on no matter the circumstance.  

We truly had an amazing day in so many ways. 

We decided to do Tacos at a local Mexican restaurant that evening and Quintin made the last minute decision to stay home. When we got home, Quintin had made grilled chicken for the week for Fisher to make sure his boy got his protein in. Even when he didn’t feel great he was always thinking and serving others, this speaks true to who Q was.

Some knew and many didn't, but Quintin struggled with long covid. It is not something he was public about for a multitude of reasons but even typing the word covid you will get flagged and meta will eventually ban your account, thus the reason for my blog post instead of a social media post. He had a difficult Covid spell in 2020 that landed him in the ER with heart rates of over 200 and that was the beginning of it all. His heart arrhythmias had started at Covid and increased sporadically over time. After extensive cardiac testing and cardiovascular appointments with multiple cardiologists – including an Electrophysiologist everyone was at a loss. His heart was healthy and strong but his electrical system seemed to be erratically broken. They called it idiopathic arrhythmias with no apparent structural heart defects or disease. In short, these arrhythmias had no identifiable cause therefore there was no identifiable solution. If only they could identity a trigger and localize the arrhythmia then they might could do something about it. They tried several different methods that didn't result in success.

Quintin was a 43 year old who suffered from a multitude of abnormal heart arrhythmias that they could not pin point. There was no pattern to them, nothing they could find that triggered them and the doctors reassured him they would not be fatal. These excitable abnormal arrhythmias were undoubtedly triggered by Covid.  As I am sure you could imagine, this was followed with lots of confusion and frustration on our end. Puzzled doctors encouraged him to go to the Mayo Clinic so he didn't spare any time submitting his medical records and applying to the Mayo Clinic specifically with the Heart Rhythm Service Cardiovascular unit, two times to only be denied twice. Mayos response was “they only extend appointments to those patients who we truly think we can help and make a difference” … read that again, crazy right? 

We were frustrated to say the least, however we trusted what the EP doctors had said and his arrhythmias would not be fatal. Debilitating at times yes, but would not be fatal. This was repeated to us from multiple doctors. 

On the evening of April 9th,

On the evening of April 9th, laying next to me in bed watching Netflix he became unconscious. He had just gotten up less than ten minutes prior to get a drink of water. Just a few feet away, no noise leading up to the event, nothing out of the norm, just a relaxing evening at home, no signs of distress no nothing at all. I happened to look over to see him and that is when I realized something was not right. I was in complete and utter shock! I immediately yelled out for help, started trying to shake him to try to wake him up and then realized there was a bigger issue and started CPR right away. My sweet daughter ran downstairs to our room and immediately helped me by calling 911 and the two of us administered CPR for 9 minutes while my younger two children stood outside the door weeping. 9 minutes later the EMT arrived to take over our efforts. 

The next 30 minutes, was the longest 30 minutes of my life. I screamed out in agony and immediately dropped to my knees there my sweet children hugged me and started to pray out loud for their dad.  To witness my children in such despair is indescribable yet the strength and faith they had in their brokenness was so admirable. All of us felt so helpless.

In the next moments, we began to witness the absolute disbelief of our new unwanted reality unfolding in front of our very eyes. After 30 minutes of working to resuscitate my sweet husband and their father, the medical examiner and team said there was nothing they could do. We were in absolute shock and disbelief so many emotions flooded in. How could this be possible? As we went in to say our goodbyes it was like time stood still. I fell to my knees over his body and cried out to God and thanked him for the time He had given us with Quintin as my best friend and husband, truly the most amazing father and ultimately thankful for sending His son Jesus to the cross to die and raise again so that we will be able to see Quintin again.  I realized that although his physical body was present, Quintin was no longer there. The father of my children, my protector had gone to be with his Heavenly Father where he was completely at peace. I was so broken, hurt, angry and so many emotions flooded however for some unknown reason all I could outwardly verbalize in that moment was gratitude. Thanking God for the time with Quintin and him choosing me to be his wife and mother of his children.

We had so many assumptions about the events that took place that evening but so many unanswered questions remained. 

We got the official word that Quintin passed from sudden cardiac arrest. This is not a heart attack, sudden cardiac arrest is different than a heart attack. His heart was healthy in all ways, this was an electrical issue with his heart called ventricular fibrillation. This is a life threatening situation that results in a rapid inadequate heart beat. He was in ventricular fibrillation for 37 seconds and the only thing that could have potentially changed the outcome was an automated external defibrillator to be used immediately.  And even with that there is a very slim chance of survival. Ventricular fibrillation is a rare occurrence and causes immediate loss of consciousness and no pulse. His sudden cardiac arrest was a result from long covid and had nothing to do with his lifestyle. He was very active with our kids, worked out with our boys and health conscious with his lifestyle decisions even drank decaf coffee. Covid messed up his electrical system and would debilitate him at times and unfortunately ultimately took his life. We are crushed and devastated and still have so many lingering questions. HOW? WHY? At 46, he had so much more to do in life. He was so young to have his life cut short. 

I have been waiting to share until I had all the details of that night straightened out. I look back on that day and ask myself “what if” all day long … I truly have beat myself up and so have all of my children. From my sweet daughter who helped administer CPR to the younger two standing outside the room feeling helpless as they witnessed it all, to my son driving home from college wishing he could have been here to save his dad. We are all struggling. The fact is that we all did what we could and nothing that we could have done or didn’t do could have changed the outcome. Now it’s getting our head thoughts to connect with our hearts, truly the hardest part. My kids are all struggling so much in so many areas right now. Frankly, we all are. We all need your prayers, but my children especially. 

I believe all of the night events leading up to the fatal event that happened that night were all unrelated. The doctors have even indicated this as well. These are questions I will never fully have answers to and that is a hard pill to swallow. I struggle with all of these unanswered questions each and every day. Then I am reminded that I get to choose where to spend my energy. I can choose to spend it on all the questions that will always remain unanswered, or I can choose to spend the little energy I have on loving on my children reminding them how much their father loved them and how they absolutely had no control over the outcome of this entire situation. How God had a plan for our lives and reassuring them He still does. God didn’t cause this to happen, however He will sustain us, walk with us and carry us when we need Him through it all. We are choosing to walk by faith and not by sight, because if I am being completely honest none of this makes any sense it wasn’t suppose to be this way yet here we are, this is our journey. 

As day light broke the following morning, I could hear the birds chirping and the tree in my view full bloom as if it bloomed overnight. I had not gotten a wink of sleep and while sitting on the couch I happened to look over to see this in our hallway (pictured below)- you see he hung his hat that he wore on the 9th on a cross (He has never hung his hat here- he always hangs his hat in the laundry room on hooks) His hat was hanging on a cross with 3 nails right under another cross that says “It is well with my soul” … Chills went through my body and I immediately broke down in tears as this was a “godwink” and a sign from Q if you will, that we can rest assure in that very promise! 

So here is your reminder to live life to its absolute fullest! Live life BIG like Q did, share the love of Christ and what He has done for you and others on the cross, date your spouse, spend intentional time with your kids- cheering them on in their interests and being their safe place to fall, be a truth telling genuine friend, take the trip, take the pic – live life with NO regrets. Faith first and Family and Friends second.

I don’t want Q to be known for the day he died rather the days he lived so I have created and will continue to update periodically a section I created in honor of my late husband “Cooking with Q” HERE with his favorite recipes, his cooking, fun hacks and chock full of wisdom that we call Q’ism’s that he was best known for around our dinner table. May you and your sweet family reclaim the table with a quick and easy crazy busy mama meal and share a Q’ism in effort to be more intentional with your family time. 

For this is not goodbye but see you soon Q. Although life with you has been cut short, your blessings permeate and legacy through our children will remain. 

Appreciate your continued prayers for my family and especially my sweet kiddos. 

For those of you who would like to watch Quintin's Funeral you can do so HERE

Much Love – CBM 

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Pasta Salad

This is the easiest pasta salad to throw together. It's delicious and makes the perfect side to bring…

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  1. Oh my heart hurts for you. My brother-in-law passed away 7 years ago from his heart stopping. He had a life-long disease that we knew would ultimately take him, but nothing prepares you for losing a 23-year-old, or, in your case, a 46-year-old. Reading this I held my breath as I read about the CPR and desperate prayers for a miracle. My husband held his brother’s hand as his sister carried out CPR until the arrival of the ambulance. I was away on a women’s retreat and will never forget the women who surrounded me immediately in prayer as I cried out. My prayers continue for you and your family. Though strangers in this life, you are all my brothers and sisters in Christ and I know that only leaning into Jesus will bring you through until you meet again in heaven. Light will come again, but the ache of loss will ebb and flow like waves as time passes.

    1. So so sorry this had to happen to Q and your family. I’m sitting here crying as my heart breaks for your whole family. There are no word. I’m praying for God to get you through these days. May you find peace and strength in the days ahead. 🙏🏻💔

    2. Lori, God Bless you for sharing this. We are all praying for you & your Q in heaven. Something similar happen to my sister after her last booster, many tests but no real conclusions. Thankfully she is still with us.
      I hope this post brings light to the fact how to share the joy of each day. None of us a guaranteed.
      God Bless

    3. I will pray that God comforts and strengthens you and your precious children each day.
      Thank you for sharing your Q. I am looking forward to checking out the recipies.

      1. Praying for you & your family.
        Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear of negative responses but will pray for those ppl as well. Take care & keep doing what you do! Love ur videos when I see them.

    4. It is heartbreaking enough to lose her dear husband, but with all the negative comments, I just can’t imagine. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. How fortunate you are to have your loving family beside you and a Multitude of friends and fans. We appreciate you being so candid and although it was hard to relive it all over again, it will probably help someone out there in some way. I have always loved your enthusiasm and positivity. You can do this. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Sending love and prayers.

    5. My heart breaks for you and the kids. I lost my mom when she was 49 I was 23 and now am 68 . Mom died suddenly she was to go to Carl Clinic on Thursday and she woke up on Monday looked at dad and said wish it was Thursday and was gone this was back in 1978. I had a 2 year old son at the time . Had lost my daughter that same year she was stillborn went on and had two more children and 10 grandkids and 2 great grandkids. Life has gone on but life has gone on many of good days but that day and the days before and after are very much are still with me. Mom was my rock talking about her as you do about Q will get you and the children through this rough period. Love and hugs it’s ok to do you.

  2. Lori,

    Soo sorry for not only your loss, but for those who have been hurtful to you and your family.
    My mother lived many years with an electrical disease. I myself live with SVT or rapid heart rates and they are scary while in the middle of an episode but even more it is how it affects my family and their uncertainty.

    All the best wishes to you and your family. You did what you could then and each day you move forward you honor your friend, husband, father of your children..
    Grief is bot something you conquer, go thru, move beyond. It is something that you learn to live with and feel wholeheartedly and become better…

    Laurie

    1. I wish and your family the very best! I have followed you for A long time and my heart is breaking for you ! Stay strong….. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  3. I can only imagine the horrible feeling it would be to lose my husband while laying beside me watching TV, which we do often, almost every night. I pray for you and your family often. I pray for you to find peace that only our Heavenly Father can give. Keep sharing your feelings with others especially family and close friends so they can help and be by your side daily. May God bless you with comfort and may your children also find comfort and happiness in this sad situation.

  4. This brought me to tears as I felt like I relived what your family went through. 💔 Sending you all prayers for some peace and healing.

  5. Lori, Thank you for sharing this. I pray it will be a step to healing. The Lord is our strength and I am praying for you to have that strength. You have been an inspiration to me and I am glad to say we are sisters in Christ and I look forward to knowing you (and Q) in heaven one day! Love, Sheryl Lewis

    1. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, and I can’t imagine what that must feel like. Even more so having to grieve in the public eye. That there are heartless bullies out there who would effectively kick you while you’re down makes me ill. Like a traumatic experience is something you can just switch off at any time……

      I posted this on my facebook page nine years ago, and I hope it helps to comfort you today.

      My heart is heavy tonight as I think of those who have lost loved ones (by death, dementia, or separation) and are facing their first year or yet another with the feeling of emptiness. (Myself included.) I don’t believe grieving is a once and done event. It can be drawn out, raw, spontaneous, and painful. But it can also be inspiring, centering and healing. I simply pray that you know you are loved, and you take the time to process every emotion. Don’t just go through the motions, because that can cause depression. If you need to talk, speak up because some of us haven’t learned mind reading yet, but we still care. 🙂 Loneliness is real, but it’s also something we can change. <3

  6. My mom was 47 when she died of sudden cardiac arrest. That was 16 years ago and I just completed testing at Mayo as sudden cardiac death can be hereditary. Please look into this to ensure your kids don’t carry any underlying issues that could cause this. I didn’t know it could be genetic until recently… no one had ever told me. Even if Covid prompted it, I would still be diligent. I am very sorry for your loss.

    1. What testing did they do?

      So sorry for your loss. My mother just passed unexpectedly at 68 from the same thing. Never heard of it in our family but I’m terrified now

    2. Crazy Busy Moma, you & your children are in my prayers. It is so terribly sad, to have your husband & father taken from you like that. But thank You Jesus, HE Never fails nor forsakes us. Just like my sister who had past away early one morning. It was during the Covid scare, & she had had the shots for it, & also had been given shots for being bit by a bat. Everyone who worked in the camp kitchen had been exposed, her husband & 2 or 3 other people. Maybe the combination of the shots, or maybe because the Covid shots caused a clot that went straight to her heart, but no one knows for sure. She was only in her 60s. She was talking to me the day before on FaceTime, we had a great time. She was a Christian, loved life, loved her family, sang & played violin, was working as a volunteer in her church along with her husband to feed the hungry in their neighborhood. Alive one minute, gone the next. We love you & am praying for you. The Lord is & will be covering over you in the coming days & months. It will take time, friend, the Lord is by your side thru thick & thin. You can take as long as you need, but realizing that already you are helping people right where you are. Just look up, dear friend & sister in the Lord. We love you all!

  7. It sounds like he had a beautiful last day. He seems like such a wonderful husband and father. I am so sorry for your loss.

    1. I know your faith will carry you and your family through this grief journey and I am so sorry you are having to take this journey at all. One day at a time sweet lady and be gentle with yourself.

  8. I’m so sorry for what your family has had to suffer through and the new normal you find yourself living through. I wish doctors would take Long Covid medical issues more serious. I had COVID in April 2021. It took me 5 months to get over the respiratory symptoms. I also slowly started losing mobility to the point where I now can only walk to the bathroom and back but no further. I can no longer cook my own meals, drive myself anywhere, walk into a doctors office. I have to use a walker or be wheeled in a wheelchair. My 26 year old daughter does the best she can to help me. I finally had my doctor refer me to a Long Covid Clinic here in California. I pray they can decide what is causing my immobility and pray there is a way to reverse it.

    Lori we are praying for you and your kids every day. I wish there was more we could do for you, but please know that we are doing that little bit. please take care of yourself during all of this and know that it’s gonna take a lot of time to get used to your new normal, but you will eventually while still being able to look back at the great memories you made with your husband and you will
    smile each time you remember him.

    May God Bless You All.

    1. First off Lori, im so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cry tears reading your story. I have prayed countkess times for you & your family. May God grant your heart peace & comfort. Ive followed cbm for years. Ive always 100% admired you & Quinton.
      I almost died of covid in November 2021 (well i did, but they brought me back) i was in the hospital 2 months.
      Im so sorry you have debilitating effects from Covid.
      I suffer from post covid health issues. My brain is the biggest struggle, but i am 100% independent now, and mostly functional. This is my new normal, which is hard every day.
      Ive begged my dr for ivermectin treatmevt ( i went through anither long bout of covid jan-march this year. She refused it. I ended up talking to my compound pharmacist last month. He told me long covid patients are doing really well with a round of ivermectin treatment, shocking, tight?!!
      He then recommended a practitioner who would prescribe it. Im starting today on a 3 week course. The med pulls the remaining covid virus out of you. I am hopeful for more healing. I was also prescribed methelene blue.
      This pharmacist told me hes filled prescriptions in 6 states the whole covid pandemic, and not one of those hundreds of patients got so sick they were hospitalized.
      I know covid is a man made plague, with certain purposes. They arent hard to figure out. Conspiring men…
      I hope and pray you get healing & answers. Continue Advocating for your health,. 🙏🏼💕

  9. It must have been so difficult to write this account of that awful night. I’m so sorry! It’s my worst nightmare and you’re living it. And your children! God bless you all. I’m sure you’ve heard of all the heart problems and sudden deaths from the Covid shot. There are many support groups out there that may help you one day. Search on IG and you’ll find people with the same story. It may give you some answers. I admire you, Lori, for your openness and honesty. Your love for your children will carry you through. What a gift Q gave you! I’ll continue to pray for you all. I wish I could give you a big hug! Keep putting one foot in front of the other – God is walking with you. ❤️‍🩹

    1. She literally said it started in 2020 after an infection and before anyone was vaccinated. Please stop pushing an agenda and let this poor family grieve their tragic loss in peace.

  10. This is a sad read. YHWH has plans. Look to him and hold his hand. He feels your broken heart. YHWH is so good. He will help you along this journey. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have made it through my husbands death. With him all things are possible. So sorry for your loss

  11. Ms Lori if you ever need someone to listen I’d be glad to try and help you. I lost my husband 25 years ago. He was 24 years older than I was and we were only together for 5 years but I lost him suddenly also. Sending you and your family love, hugs and Prayers

  12. Thankyou for sharing.
    You will be a blessing and are to those who are broken by loss. You write so well. The love between you and your husband is stronger than death. It lives on as he does in Gods perfect light. Watch for symptoms of PTSD in all your family.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. Wow this brought tears to my eyes. Again I am so very sorry for your loss. I do not know you but I have been following your recipes for awhile now. You are truly an amazing woman and I know it was hard for you share this about your husband. My prayers to you and your beautiful children. May God surround you with love and peace and healing 🙏🏾

  13. My heart breaks for you and your children I have watch you over the last two years and your energy is so spunky and I love that. The love you had for one another is envious. I know deep down you and your children will be ok. I pray for you guys during this time! I wish I could hug you. I wish I could make your hurt, confusion and pain go away! Only the hood die young is an awful saying but I truly believe it and it’s so sad! Keep your head head held high and know many of us would love to take your pain away.

  14. Thank you for sharing. I pray for healing comfort for you and your children. You are a strong, amazing person and grieving is a process. You will get through this with the Lord’s help and blessing.

  15. All I can say is, “When you can’t see His Hand, trust His Heart”.

    Nothing in the story of Q’s passing makes sense…what was God’s plan in all of this?

    So all we can do is trust His Living Heart. I know its easy for me to say, I’m not the one who needs to trust. But, I know it’s true. Phil 4:8 says…”whatsoever things are TRUE, think on these things!”.

    Please keep using us, your followers…if someone gets tired of reading it, just tell them to scroll on. You don’t need them!

    I love you….even though I’ve never met you!

    Because of Jesus,

    Love, Beth

  16. My prayers for you and your kids 🙏💗 May God give you lots of strength to be strong for you and your kids . To keep you going in life day by day little by little. In God we trust and have faith. Gif blessed you ❤️

  17. My sister became a window over 20 years ago, and many of the things you have mentioned were very similar to how she felt and experienced. The people who are judging you have not known a love such as you and your husband shared. So they cannot comprehend your loss. Your true fans stand behind you and pray for you and your children.

  18. Lori, I cried reading this. Thanks for sharing. I know it was hard to lose your best friend/husband. Take all the time you need to heal. No one has ever been in your shoes. So glad you got the lasting memories of the day and the kids to surround you with love and memories. I pray to you🙏

  19. I am so sorry for your loss and can’t imagine. But praise God you know you all will be reunited and Q is healed and in the loving arms of Jesus and singing with the saints. You are all in my continued prayers.

    1. Lori I am so extremely sorry for your loss and I thank you for sharing your story. I have been a FB follower of your CBM videos. When I recently saw one on my feed about the loss of your husband I was shocked and heartbroken for you but now hearing what happened, it is almost as if that video was placed so that I could see it. My husbsnd and I have been together 34 years and married 29 and we have 2 adult children. Although my husband has had previous heart issues in the past having 2 valves replaced back in 2016. But since then he was doing really well up until Jan 2023. We both caught Covid in December 2022 and he has been complaining of shortness of breath ever since January 2023. After MANY appointments with our previous cardiologist and his electrophysiologist and getting absolutely no where, our PCP got us into Mayo to try to figure out what is going on. He is actually currently wearing a defibrillator vest 24/7 for the last 2 weeks so they can try to figure out what is going on. NO ONE has even brought up that this could all be related to Covid. Your story has really got me thinking and I will be asking about this at our virtual appointment with Mayo on Monday.

      Again thank you for sharing. We will most definitely be praying for you and your kids.

  20. I just can’t imagine the pain and heartache you are all feeling. People with negative comments should be ashamed. I have prayed for you and will continue to pray that God gives you all what you need to get through this horrible time and know that even though most of us don’t know you personally we do care and are praying for you and your children.

  21. You have painted a beautiful picture of your husband and the love you and he had for each other and your children. I know your loss is devastating. A sudden loss is so hard to navigate. It is very hard to lose someone who has been ill and you may even be expecting them to pass, but you prepared yourself if that is possible. Losing someone suddenly is almost like a bad dream you hope to wake up from. The faith you are showing in his hope in Christ and your faith in knowing that one day you will see him again is wonderful thing to have. This can bring peace in your storm.

  22. My dad had a heart attack in Drs office across the street from the hospital and they could not save him. He was 40 years old. I believe God took him home for reasons only he knows. I know I will see him again some day. Speak of him as much as you want / need to. Those memories will help sustain you and your children. God bless you all.

  23. I am so sorry for you and your beautiful children. I know with the help of God you will get through this tragic time for we know that weeping endureth for a night but Joy comes in the morning..God bless you all and you will to continue to be in my prayers! 🙏

  24. Oh Lori my heart breaks for you. I am sitting here crying. I can’t even imagine what you all went through that night. The hat hanging on the cross is truly a Godwink. You can’t question yourself with what if or maybe I should have done something. It is as it is and Q is there with you all. He will help you going forward. God will always be there to ease your pain and help guide you along. You grieve as you need my friend. No one can tell you how long or how to act. It is your grieve. I will continue to pray for you and the family that God helps you during this difficult time. Again I am so sorry for your loss. 🙏🙏🙏🥰✝️

  25. Beautiful Lori and family. Covering you in blankets of love and prayers. I too, lost my husband wayyy too soon in life , for he was only 28 at the time and I became a single mom of two ( one was 2 and the other 6)…. The years have ticked on and both of my beloved sons are both in college now and thriving. The loss is always present as I know it is and will be with you but we find a way to still love and live and embrace our faith. I was very mad at God for a while over losing my love but eventually came to an understanding that God was the only one who could help me grow, and gain a semblance of understanding over such a profound loss.Your strong faith and community will undoubtedly carry you during these oh so difficult days and season . Thank you for sharing this impossibly difficult experience , trust that in sharing it may not feel like it now but it will be cathartic; eventually! Know that so many, myself included are praying for you and your family and that you are so cherished and loved!!❤️💗❤️

  26. Oh, Lori!
    Thank you for sharing this with us all. Of course we were all curious, as with anyone passing so young, or even at all. Although, I recognize that it was not my “right” to know, some people just don’t understand that. I am so sorry that people would say such horrible things to you about your wonderful husband’s passing! Those people simply need to be blocked! There is no amount of money that they could contribute that would be worth your peace!
    I suffer from those arrythmias as well, and this has really opened my eyes further, that I need to do more to take care of myself! Thank you for that, also.
    And the third thing, I know that night was terribly traumatic for yall. Would be for anyone. But try to look at it from Q’s perspective, it may take away some of the sting. He passed early, yes, and left a terrible hole. However, he died happy and loved, and not in pain…isn’t that what we all hope for? And also, that the most wonderful thing about him was that he nailed down his direction, that you don’t ever have to question whether or not you will be back together some day in paradise! Big hugs, Sweetie.

  27. Oh Lori, I am so very sorry for you and your children. My heart aches for your precious family. Yes, I wondered what happened. I can’t imagine the ridiculous words to you and your family. Please forgive their ignorance. I am so thankful you had your precious Tuesday and hope it will become a day of you always reflect on the love you shared with your hubby. Please know…I am one Christian who has and will be praying for you and your family. Much Love, Bev

  28. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for being so courageous and sharing… reliving this for us. What a beautiful wink from God. Thank you for reminding me to hold my best friend a little tighter and to appreciate ALL the moments with him. You’ll see your beautiful husband again until then keep your eyes on Jesus. God bless you amd may He grant His overwhelming peace to you amd your beautiful children.

  29. I am so sad to read this. I’m at a loss for words other than I’m very sorry for the loss of your best friend, husband, and father of your sweet children. I hope the amazing memories you’ve made with him with sustain you through your grief. You and your family are in my prayers.

  30. Lori, so sorry for yours and your family’s loss. My husband passed in his sleep of heart related issues also following COVID. He had history of arrhythmias. It’s been a little over 3 years. Life will never be the same for you but you will figure it out. You will have happiness but it just looks different. Just take one day, one minute at a time and don’t let anyone tell you or your children how to feel.

  31. I lost my son suddenly. He was 25
    There are so many should of’s. Or I wish I had said or done hads.
    He left behind 2 little girls. It’s amazing seeing him in them.
    And you will see Q in your children.
    My two sister in laws both lost their husbands 1 year apart . Both of them had long term Covid. I won’t go into it on here but I could say a lot about the Man made virus. That’s probably saying to much. You will never be the same and will never stop hurting. But Our dear Lord and savior will leads us through . He is the giver of live and the taker of life. We will be ever greatfull for having them in our lives. May God give you a peace that passeth all understanding. Colleen Henry Cedar Hill. Mo.

  32. Sweet Lori, I kneel down every night before I sleep and I Thank Our Father in Heaven for all I’ve been given, and for my Children and Grandkids, I always add you and all 4 kids to my prayers since I heard of your loss. I pray for you to find peace and comfort but also to find the answers to your pain and grief. I know he hears and is with you all in every way. I know we’ve never met but I’ve felt very close to you as I pray. This was very hard to read and to feel your pain in the words. Please know your well covered in prayer from all of us. Keep being real on your morning videos, we care about you and feel your pain. May Father Bless you with all you need…

  33. Lori, your courage and strength to share this very intimate and scary story is amazing. You know, I think, that the vast majority of your followers are now your Army, and though strangers, we will hold you up. You are loved.

  34. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Grief is unrelenting most of the time. Although my story is a little different, my grief is debilitating at times. A while ago we lost our daughter two days after she turned 10 years old. Barely 2 years ago we lost our oldest son. I’m always here to listen, talk or wwhatever. Sending hugs and prayers.

  35. God bless you and your children. Stay open & inviting to all the miracles around you every day. You are not alone. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  36. I’m so sorry this happened, you never know when your body will just say enough. I went through the same many years ago, and you’re right it’s a different death, it’s a shocking death. I was notified by the Sheriffs office, my son was 15,my daughter 18.
    The strength i feel coming from your words now is remarkable, I’m sure part of that is Q guiding. I have read some of the most hateful things being said to you, the first thing in my head was “Dear God don’t let the kids see this”,why people do that I’ll never know.
    You and your kiddos have been and will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

  37. I’m so so sorry for your loss and the hurt caused by insensitive people. You are brave and courageous, and there is no doubt Q is now walking beside you, to help guide your family’s future. Sending prayers for peace and healing.

  38. My dad died at 42 from renal cancer. I was only 3 so I don’t have memories but I’ve heard so many stories from my mom and older siblings. 40 yrs later and he still comes up all the time. He was a God fearing, family man (much like Q) and left an impact in this world that has not been forgotten. Continually praying for you and your sweet family…….knowing from first hand experience that God will carry you through❤️

  39. Praying 🙏 for you and your kids, Lori! I have enjoyed your encouraging posts for a couple of years and cried when I heard about your loss of Q. Thank you for sharing your journey. You are brave, strong, loving and a giver of hope, even through grief. May God comfort you all and give you peace.

  40. So sorry for your unimaginable loss. Thank you for sharing. I lost my uncle to Covid-induced cardiac arrest on January 4, 2021, the same day they were planning to discharge him from the hospital, and also someone with no heart conditions, and in an instant he was gone. My mom (his sister) and his (adult) kids didn’t even make it to the fwy after getting the initial call from the hospital before getting another call not long after informing us of his passing.

    As a momma myself, I always say that my purpose in this life is to raise my son to be a kind person. The reality that others, strangers at that, feel that it’s okay to spread their toxic and negative opinions in such a public manner, likely about a situation they themselves have never personally experienced, is inconceivable. Compassion seems to be completely lost on some. To openly and intentionally hurt another person in such a deplorable way, when that person is already trying to navigate an enormously painful and uncharted path, is nothing short of evil. And as we do on any other given day, we will only give our energy and focus to Him, and will refuse to allow evil to take up any space in our hearts or minds. We must pray for those who have allowed their hearts and minds to be overtaken by that evil. Your faith is clearly unwavering and for that I’m grateful to you for sharing and I hope in doing so it brings you a bit of peace and calm in your heart. I’m not surprised by the placement of Q’s hat that day yet at the same time it it gave me chills. Such a wonderful reminder to trust in Him and as you said to “walk by faith…” which coincidentally I just had tattooed on my foot on the same day you posted this. And although I’ve wanted to get it for many years, and was actually planning to get something else that day and this one later on, I chose to get this one instead. We cannot always understand why but we can always trust in Him.

  41. Lori you and your children have been in my prayers ever since the first post of this happening. My heart goes out to you and your children. I’m so sorry that there are mean people out there to make such rude and hurtful comments to you. There’s something wrong with people like that I don’t know and I don’t understand why anybody has to be so hurtful. I know it’s easier said than done but just delete those people don’t listen to a word they say because you know it’s not true we all know it’s not true.
    You grief as long as you want there’s no timeline on it. You will get through this with the help of the lord and your children. We never get over a loss like this, but we do learn how to deal with it and move on and everybody Grieves differently. You take your time.
    I’m continuing my prayers for you and your family and I’m sending lots of love and hugs!!!

  42. Thank you for sharing. Your words are so powerful and your faith is amazing. Mayo
    clinic denials was not right, could’ve made a difference? Gods Will is hard to accept when someone so young and full of
    Life is taken away. Please keep being transparent , it is healing and helping many
    Others. Can I Ask if Q was on any medication for this issue?

  43. I’m so sorry for your loss.I read every word, you painted a picture in my mind as I was reading and it’s so sad it made me cry as Ive felt your pain.I lost my husband years ago, he was only 24.One minute he calls me and tells me he’d be home soon..one hour later he is gone.
    God bless you and your family..🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  44. I am so sorry for this tragic loss of ur Q! My heart has hurt for you deeply. I cannot believe the horrible comments you have received as you all are walking thru these weeks since April 9. May God block you and the kids from such nonsense! The reason for his death is so misfortunate, so very sad. I will continue to PRAY for you as you face each new day. Ur words have meant so much to me as you find comfort in our Heavenly Father and gain strength everyday and share thru ur pain and tears and a few smiles. You are so loved by ur family and ur followers and most of all by Jesus🙌✝️🙏

  45. Dear Lori ,

    The world & the country is in shambles as we watched America shut down for Covid … Mandated vaccs for military , ventilators that probably killed people vs meds that seemed to give help and healing . We will never have the accountability for Covid that NEEDS to be addressed nor will we ever know the TRUE effects … The subsequent shots that also took MANY peoples lives are infuriating ..

    My heart for you and your family is very present and the lives that you touched that day as I couldn’t believe what I was reading about Q ‘s passing … It was strange to hurt for a person and family I knew not in person but in social media… I watched the funeral in disbelief wondering how and Why God?? It was a beautiful celebration … All I could think was How can this truly be their reality?? The kids are AMAZING and the hurt and pain of losing their equally AMAZING father is a pain like no other,., You are an incredible soul and ALWAYS this light and force for ALL things GOOD in a DARK world …
    Truly when I found out I was at a TJ Maxx and I told my friend I can’t believe the post I just saw it can’t be true… She was a bit puzzled because she thought I knew you and your family personally the way that I was so sad and in disbelief … Honestly , I found that your following mostly all felt this to the core… The ones that said ugly things weren’t truly caring or supportive of you in a grief filled time as this has been …
    I could say so much and I have been so sad for you. Praying for you and your family…

    I lost my Aunt to brain cancer and we certainly believe a 75 year old full of life was robbed of more time due to her insisting upon getting EVERY Covid shot and booster . She had just lost weight , was on vacation and her leg gave way underneath her . Her family sent her to ER the next morning and they gave a grim diagnosis … Many questions surround her 8 month debilitating disease . If she had not been so eager for the vaccs woukd she be alive?? We didn’t know but , being in Medical as a medical coder it was sure suspect … Long Covid is another puzzler and a evil debilitator for many…
    We could never know what would happen and that heart electric pulse issues, lung issues, and many other problems would be revealed …
    Q had a broken heart and I’m so sorry but in the malaise he was swept under and passed as a result
    I’m sorry for all of it and for the “ home” you wish you could return to … Sometimes I think about how life here on earth is “passing through” this place to eternity … It’s a mystery and a tough one for those left . We had 8 months to prepare for my Aunts passing but you did not have time to know or act … You had a sudden experience so that is even more challenging
    May God Cover you alll with His Feathers …
    Keep writing , showing up , loving your community but ONLY after you have energy
    We love you & your family … God knew , there were NO surprises for God that this occurred … Grace Given everyday for you are trying to navigate this new territory …

  46. I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been hard to write and relive this life changing event in your lives and I can only hope that it has brought some peace and closure. It sounds like his last day was perfection and he left you a sign to let you know that. My husband had a heart attack and open heart surgery and although I have not felt your kind of pain I have felt the same fear. Thank you for sharing and know that not everyone believed the rumors. As for the those who feel it necessary to post hurtful things, well I have no words for them except to say that I hope they can work through whatever is making them miserable enough to try and drag others down with them. Keep your strength up and take one day at a time. One step at a time. One moment at a time. The memories of your time together that bring tears will soon be memories that bring a quiet smile to your face and heart. You will find your way.

  47. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Praying for you and your children—that y’all would experience God in a profound way during this season and live free from the guilt, as our days are numbered before there was yet one. And in this dark season, know that to God, even darkness is light. You will over come, and He will be the victor ❤️ “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.”
    ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭1‬-‭18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

  48. I am so sorry for your families loss. The description of performing cpr and the waiting and watching as EMT continued to try brought back memories of a similar event while we were at a celebration with our closest friends. He suddenly had a emergency heart event. That seemed like the longest 30 min of my life as I held my arms around his wife praying. I could see the looks on the faces of our 2 friends who were police officers…shaking their heads no…how could this be happening. There is such a painful overwhelming sadness and helplessness at the moment you know their life is no more. I’m glad you all had each other at this sad time. I’m praying for your sweet family. With all our love…❤️ keep a focus on your own health and wellness too. Your kids need you now but they are resilient and strong….like you. Q gave them the tools they need for their future. I cannot promise it will be easy but I can say that each day we are still here is a gift. I know it does not seem that way now. Man that guy loved you so!

  49. Oh Lori! I am so very very sorry for you and your family going through this devastating loss. I pray God’s Comfort, Peace, Courage and Strength over all of you and will keep you all on my prayer list. I am sure there are more prayers than can be counted being said for you and your children. No words can be expressed that will help you at this time, but knowing there are thousands praying and thinking about you all daily will hopefully help in some small way. We all love you all. God Bless You and Your Children and all of your loved ones. 🙏

  50. Oh my goodness. Having to go through all that…I am so sorry. Covering y’all in prayer and peace. What a beautiful legacy and inspiration. To God goes the glory!💜

  51. I hurt for all of you. It is sad that you have to explain away the worst day of your life. It’s nobody’s business. There’s a special place for those who negate your pain. Wishing you strength everyday and saying lots of prayers for you and your babies. I appreciate you!!!

  52. Praying for you and your kiddos. May Gods love envelop each of you and give you the peace you need. Where there is great love, there is great grief.

  53. This is a devastating story and loss, and I am so sorry. Please know that right now I am praying for your children and for you.

  54. Lori, is it possible for you to start selling these crosses (the one that hangs Q’s hat)? I would love to buy them as gifts to share with others and to help support you & your sweet family in honor of Q’s memory. You are an amazing mother and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Just so very sorry. Take each day one step at a time one day at a time. Have always loved your cooking ideas and now more than ever will go to Crazy Busy Mama whenever I am looking for a new dinner idea. Sending so much love to you all.

  55. Lori, first I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry for the hurtful comments you have endured. Most likely they are from those who have had the privilege of not experiencing the grief of such a loss. Your posts and your raw honesty in sharing your grief has helped untold others to put words to their own grief. Believe that! It has helped me do the same so I speak from that. I am longer into my journey. 2 and a half years in. It is still raw. It was unexpected as well. To us, but not to God. And nothing we could have done, or any decision we could have made, would have changed the truth that our sweet husbands days here were done. That does not stop us from revisiting that question though, still. And I am constantly reminding myself of Gods sovereignty over all things. Like you, I knew my husband from a young age. 8th grade. Crushed on him early, dated casually then became a couple our senior year of high school. Married at 18 I had 44 anniversaries with him. Just missed by a few months our 45th where we had intended vow renewals. This instead became his life celebration. I have lifted you in prayer. So often. I am slightly ahead of you on this road and use my experience as a guide in my prayers. God has you and your children. I know you know this! This doesn’t mean this road will be a breeze, but you will never walk it alone. Sending you love and understanding. You are doing a good job crazy busy mama during the hardest circumstances this earthy life can throw at us! While we will always wish we had more time, eternity has already begun. We are just spending it in different locations for a short time!

  56. Dear Sweet Lori…
    My heart hurts deeply for you and your children. I am praying for your healing over time. Our God has some type of plan to use this terrible loss for His honor and His glory. I can’t wait to meet you and Q and your children in heaven someday where we will all be together praising our great God and His Son forever and ever. Praying for you all.
    In Christ’s love,
    Debbie Moran

  57. I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. I came across your page recently after your husbands passing. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life. We serve a wonderful God and He will continue to guide you and your family in Jesus’ name. Continually praying for you and your beautiful family.

  58. Thank you for sharing Quintin’s passing. . I read it and cried. I’m so sorry for you and your family. Sending you hugs and continued prayers ❤️🙏🙏

  59. Thank you for sharing your very private journey..love and prayers over you and your precious kids.. I pray that they will remember the life Q lived, they will know how much they are loved by God through His son Jesus.. and that through Q’s faithfulness, the generations will carry blessing and favour. Big cyber hugs from a pastor and mumma in Australia.. I doubt we will ever meet but precious lady, you are well loved.. praying healing over your heart and protection over your mind. Much love.

  60. Just wish I could hug your entire family. My dad died mush the same way. Holding my mom’s hand in bed ready to sleep. He was only 57. I had just turned 21. The healing is hard and life is not easy losing a parent that suddenly that young. I feel your sorrow and pain in your posts because I’ve felt it before. From now on you just simply do what you have to do to make it through. You all need to feel it and deal with it though. I ran and simply lived life for many years. Please be well and care for yourselves as you need to. Let the noisy world do its own thing. May you find the comfort and peace your heart needs in this moment.

  61. Wow, just wow! At the worst time in your life your words come out so beautifully! I wish I were able to express myself so good! God bless you and your kids! My heart has been broken for you since that day! Your true, raw feelings, emotions I know are going to help others and most importantly you point them to Christ! Praise the Lord! Praying purging all the details brings you all healing. I’m so sorry for your loss but I do know God has a bigger plan. Thankful you are taking us on the journey with you even though it is so painful. May He bring you comfort and peace like only He can! I love ya!

  62. God be with you and your children…I have followed your account for years and have been so sad to follow this part of your story. Your faith is inspiring and is a witness to others of the power of Christ’s love! You and your kids will be in my prayers ❤️

  63. Praying for you and your precious family! What a remarkable God fearing – family and people loving man your Q was!! I praise God we don’t morn as those with no hope! Praying that The Holy Spirit floods your hearts and mind with a peace beyond this earthy understanding! Thank you for shining the light and love of Christ in a dark situation! God bless you and your beautiful childten-
    May our Lord continue to give you enough light for the step you are on today!
    Much love and prayers in Christ-

  64. Lori-praying for your strength and your children’s strength. Please please know you are doing the best you can and try to avoid the negative comments.

  65. You are an inspiration. Q was obviously a remarkable, very special Angel sent from above. I’m deeply sorry for your earth shattering loss. How terrifying it had to be. My goodness. I sure admire your courage to face each day. Praying for your family.

  66. You honor your husband’s life beautifully by telling this story and in how you are remembering him. I’m so sorry you’ve received those terrible social media comments. Your grief deserves whatever time and attention it requires and only you can determine that. Thank you for reminding us to live intentionally.

  67. How do we FIX things that are such a permanent part of our being – whether they be good or bad – that have transfigured our lives so drastically! We don’t!
    You have an unimaginable gift of expression! God be with You and Your Children as you recover from a loss that is unimaginable! People say healing will come – when in fact, no it won’t! Yes, you will eventually adapt to this new life with such a huge void, but a scar will always be with you! That scar you will carry with pride because of the special Love you all have for ‘Q’! It is so raw and painful for now but in time will become more bearable as the adjustment evolves! I applaud you for continuing to share from your heart as you work through this maze of grief for it helps you, your children and so many others who endure painful loss but cannot express their pain! Only God has all the answers! May God continue to Bless you all with His Love and Grace❤️😢

  68. I have an off beat heart thing since covid, last week it happened wall walking around with my husband but most of the time I can mostly feel it when I’m still and sitting. It’s scary so I could only imagine how he felt. And testing shows my heart is healthy so I just try to calm myself when I have those moments.

    You are such a strong mom to have to deal with all this privet and hear such negative stuff from social media. Will keep praying for you and your family.

  69. I am so sorry. I pray for you and your children every day. You are an inspiration. You have helped me so much when I needed it. I am so glad I clicked that follow button. You keep doing what you’re doing. God does have a plan for you. You have a beautiful family. You mad you posts make my day. Thank you!! Love you!!!!!

  70. I cannot imagine the depth of your pain or grief! The love you had for each other was obvious, as well as the love for your children. I pray for you and your family for comfort and peace. God will help you thru your struggles.

    “Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved”
    Psalm 55:22

  71. Lori,
    I lost my husband of 21 years to Type 2 Diabetes and multiple organ failure on February 29th, 2024. I know your grief and the part about trying to get home, but not being able to. It hurts so deeply that sometimes, it’s difficult to breathe. Count on your family for help. Mine have been there in every, single way.
    God Bless You.

  72. Thank you for sharing this truly heartbreaking story that you and your family are living through. What a wonderful testimony to your faith and knowing that you’ll get to see him again. And I seriously don’t think it’ll be long before Jesus is calling us up to Him. What a sweet reunion it will be on so many levels. I will say a prayer right now for you and your sweet kids. God will carry you through this and you’ll never forget him but you’ll eventually smile again. This is the joy and peace that comes from Him.

  73. This post is perfect. Is honors your husband, shares what God had done on your heart for your to be able to utter gratitude to him in the moment of the loss, and it honors the Lord that you trust him with all of this, knowing he loves you, is able to help you, knows what is best, and will be found faithful. I watched the funeral. I pray for you. I’m hugging my husband tighter with you and you family in my heart.

  74. I am so sorry for you and your family’s loss. My prayers for you all continue. I am so sorry for the horrific and negative comments. I am in awe that you have been able to put one foot in front of the other and you are a shining example for others who may go through similar circumstances. God’s blessings on you all. Thank you for sharing.

  75. I am so sorry for the cruel people in the world. Jesus loves you and your babies. Keep praying and praising all day every day. The song Keep Praising the Lord comes to mind. Keep praising the Lord when the skies above are gray keep praising the Lord for the answers on its way. Do not despair for the Lord still answers prayers for those who endure the victory is sure, keep praising the Lord. Love you sista in Christ.

  76. Oh Lori and Family,
    I am praying for your family as I know the loss of losing a father at a young age. My dad passed at 48 of cancer. I was only 23. I also know how it is to have to give someone CPR. My grandma died while I was giving her CPR on my birthday at the moment I was born. She always told me you never live one minute more than you’re supposed to, and if she didn’t show me that I don’t know who did. We are here for you in this community as you have been here for us. Please know the mean comments come from people who are unhappy with themselves and all we can do is pray for those people. I am sorry your family is having to endure such. My prayers are the wonderful people that love, pray and Encourage you will help you through this dark time. When My dad passed. He visited me. I woke up. I was wide awake. My room was lit up with the brightest white light and he told me don’t wish me back heaven’s more magnificent than you can ever imagine. I hold onto that I have for the past 30 years. I remember him every single day. I feel his presence. I know he watches over my and my family and I hope you know that Q is doing the same. Hes saving a place next to Jesus for you and your family when it’s your time. I will continue to hold you all in my prayers. My deepest sincere condolences.

  77. Thank you so much for sharing this. As someone who suffers from Long Covid issues, it was a reminder to live my life to the fullest every day as none of us know what the future..even 30 minutes from now holds.

    You know that God has you in this place for a reason. He promises us to always be with us and does not promise us it will be easy. He has brought you to this place to show that no matter how horrific the world might seem, He is to be glorified at all times.

    I hope maybe someday we can meet in person. I would love to give you a very long hug of gratitude and love for the way you have shared and the Love of Christ you shine with

  78. I will continue to keep you and the entire family in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine how difficult this was to share, but hopefully it will also help another family in a similar situation. For me, it IS that reminder to stay in the moment, be present and be intentional. Thank you.

  79. You are stronger than most! May God’s Peace be with you and on you and your children until you all see Q again!

  80. So sorry for the experience you and your children had to go through. It truly makes the grieving process worse. Be ever gentle amd kind with yourselves, grief will take as long as it has to, and the trauma you endured in that moment will have an effect on how long that is. You did all you could. I know you’ve heard it already, but you can always hear it again. Q was where he wanted to be, by your side, after what sounds like a beautiful day.
    As for the haters… block them, no good comes from letting them stay. Protect your heart, your kids and your family. Know you are loved. May His blessing and peace comfort you always.

  81. I’m praying for you and your family, Lori. I’m so sorry for your loss. May God cover you with His protection and hold you close during the roller coaster of the grief ride.

  82. You have such a way with words! Your story is beautiful. I will continue to pray for you and your kiddos. You are inspiring to so many. Live each day full of grace.❤️

  83. Lori – thank you for being so vulnerable a@ this horrible time in your life. You will always have questions, that is normal, not sure if you’re familiar with the song “You’ve Already Won” by Shane & Shane but it fits the circumstance you’re in now. Thank you for sharing your faith, your witness of what God has, is & will continue doing in your life. My heart goes out to you & your children. I cannot imagine what you all are going through. I cry with you watching & reading your posts. And for those who post negativity & hateful comments, The Lord will deal with them. I am praying for you all.

  84. Thank you for sharing your story to remind us to live each day to its fullest, as your beautiful family did! I am so sorry for your loss and will continue to pray for you and your beautiful kids. Again, I am so deeply sorry.

  85. So sorry for your loss. I wonder if he had a feeling there could be something happen with his health since you said during his service he left you a letter and what he said in his letter.

  86. While I have not lost my husband, I relate to some of these issues when I lost my father. All I know is your faith in Jesus will get you through, but that doesn’t spare the loss you feel. I am so sorry people say mean things, but know you are amazing even when you don’t feel it. Thank you for sharing so much of your journey. You are helping me be a better wife to my husband. Continuing to pray for you and your children. Thankful for the assurance we have in our Savior. 🙏💔🥲🙌

  87. Oh Lori, this hit my heart and I put myself into the things I read and I’m broken hearted for you. I am so thankful for you sharing your story, it encourages and reminds me and pushes me to be intentional in my walk with the Lord. I’m always telling my husband to be more intentional in our relationship but I forget to apply that sometimes in my spiritual walk. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable and I want you to know it does have an effect. Your family is in my prayers!

  88. Oh how my heart breaks for you and your precious family. It hurts my heart for the cruel words spoken to you. I will be praying for you and your entire family and friends. I can’t pretend to know your hurt and life will never be the same. Thank you for your honesty that you share with each of us. Your community of believers are here for you.

  89. What does one say? I am not sure I have the words. All I can muster up for you is to let you know how much I care. And that I will be praying for your sweet family during this deep loss. I have an electrical issue with my heart too. In fact, it’s from you guessed it, Covid and I have an updated Echo scheduled at the end of the month. It’s terrifying but I know the Lord uses all of this hurt and evil for His good and glory and in Heaven we will know no Covid. God bless your sweet children and I’ll continue to pray for your strength too. Sending love and hugs from Atlanta!

  90. Lori, thank you for sharing and thank you for putting one foot in front of the other day by day. May God continue to strengthen you and your family. I pray for you when I see your posts. Grief is a process, may your memories and time help to lessen the pain you feel. May God fill you with peace.

  91. I’m so sorry for your incredible loss.
    My heart just breaks for you, I know my platitudes cannot contain enough support and showcase my empathy for your family and you.

    I resongnated a lot with you, and your family. Our husband’s were similar in age, or kids similar in age. I too married my best friend.

    Please ignore the haters, and take the time you and your kids need to grieve. We lost both of my in-laws between 2019 and 2023 and that loss we still feel. Everytime one of my kids or my husband goes for treatment I’m await things anxiously. My heart truly feels for you.

    Hugs all the way from Calgary Canada, from my family to yours.

  92. I’m so sorry for your incredible loss.
    My heart just breaks for you, I know my platitudes cannot contain enough support and showcase my empathy for your family and you.

    I resongnated a lot with you, and your family. Our husband’s were similar in age, or kids similar in age. I too married my best friend.

    Please ignore the haters, and take the time you and your kids need to grieve. We lost both of my in-laws between 2019 and 2023 and that loss we still feel. Everytime one of my kids or my husband goes for treatment, I await things anxiously. My heart truly feels for you.

    Hugs all the way from Calgary Canada, from my family to yours.

  93. Lori, my heart is so heavy as I read this. I am a new mom and I started following your page almost a year ago when my baby started solids. You helped me in many ways, your energy radiated through a screen!

    The pain I felt readying your children had to bare witness to this tragedy makes my heart break. Thank you for sharing this, I know it must of not been easy and although you do not owe any one of us an explanation, I hope in some way this helps you. You are a great wife a great mom a great person! to all the people leaving negative and hurtful comments I pray you never have to go through something like this and on top have to endure outside opinions of strangers who know nothing about you and your family.

    To the kiddos: you guys are strong and amazing, your love for each other is truly inspiring and I send prayers and love your way. I hope and pray you continue to lift each other up as your love is what will start this healing journey.

    To Quinton I pray you are in peace and I know you are looking down on your beautiful family, although your not physically there you are by their side for eternity.

    god bless you all.

  94. I’m so sorry for your incredible loss.
    My heart just breaks for you, I know my platitudes cannot contain enough support and showcase my empathy for your family and you.

    I resongnated a lot with you, and your family. Our husband’s were similar in age, or kids similar in age. I too married my best friend.

    Please ignore the haters, and take the time you and your kids need to grieve. We lost both of my in-laws between 2019 and 2023 and that loss we still feel. Everytime one of my kids or my husband goes for treatment I’m await things anxiously. My heart truly feels for you.

    Hugs all the way from Calgary Canada, from my family to yours.

  95. Thank you for sharing. Praying for you and your kids.I am so very sorry for your great loss. I will never understand how mean people can be. Social media can be so good and yet so bad. God Bless all of you!

  96. Lori, my heart is so heavy as I read this. I am a new mom and I started following your page almost a year ago when my baby started solids. You helped me in many ways, your energy radiated through a screen!

    The pain I felt readying your children had to bare witness to this tragedy makes my heart break. Thank you for sharing this, I know it must of not been easy and although you do not owe any one of us an explanation, I hope in some way this helps you. You are a great wife a great mom a great person! to all the people leaving negative and hurtful comments I pray you never have to go through something like this and on top have to endure outside opinions of strangers who know nothing about you and your family.

    To the kiddos: you guys are strong and amazing, your love for each other is truly inspiring and I send prayers and love your way. I hope and pray you continue to lift each other up as your love is what will start this healing journey.

    To Q I pray you are in peace and I know you are looking down on your beautiful family, although your not physically there you are by their side for eternity.

    god bless you all.

  97. Sweet woman of God, keep walking, keep talking, keep listening, keep breathing in the Word, keep sharing.
    When you invite Him, God will meet you where you are.
    As you said, He will meet you in the silence and in the chaos.

  98. I’m so sorry for your loss. Truly sorry, but take solace knowing he is with the Lord now, this is a blessing for him ! Those of us left behind are grieving but the one who has passed, is rejoicing in the presence of the Lord ! Lean on the Lord, he will not forsake you. Keep sharing his love and know one day you WILL be reunited with Q in heaven ! Stay blessed, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. PTL

  99. Sweet woman of God, I encourage you to
    keep walking, keep talking, keep listening, keep breathing in the Word, keep sharing.
    When you invite Him, God will meet you where you are.
    As you said, He will meet you in the silence and He will meet you in the chaos.

  100. My heart hurts for you and your beautiful family so very badly. I cannot imagine the trauma and pain that you will all have with you for all of time. I lost my dad at 14 years old to a heart attack. While different than Q’s death, I can still remember every single moment of that day down to what I said at the hospital when they called us in to say our goodbyes. That was 21 years ago. The pain never goes away, you just learn how to deal with it somehow. Knowing how much I hurt for all of these 21 years, and especially those first few, makes me so sad knowing your beautiful children are suffering from that same kind of pain. And watching you share your grief and still praising God, it gives me so much hope that no matter what, God is here, and God is good and he helps us through the days we don’t know how else to move through. I pray that He continues to give you the strength you need through the hard days ahead and just so very sorry for your devastating loss.

  101. I’m praying for you and your family! I have a wonderful husband! You sharing your tragedy has made me more aware of the need to appreciate my husband on a greater level! I tell him more often I’m thankful for him and how he shows he loves me! We’ve been married 35 years. Thank you for your testimony! Please continue to share as you feel led to do so!

  102. This is so heartbreaking and is a good reminder to live life to its fullest. Never take anything for granted. My best friend lost her husband in a tragic car accident in the middle of the night. She is left here with two babies under the age of 5. My heart hurts for her everyday and I try to do my best to be there in every way possible. I can’t imagine losing the love of my life. I will be praying for all widow’s and their families.

  103. There are no words, I know. All I can say is how utterly sorry I am. May God be by your side and your children’s side always, giving you some t type of comfort.
    My daughter lost her husband a little over 3 years ago, and we are all heartbroken for her and their children, now ages 13 and 9.
    She has often said people always tell her how strong she is, but she says inside she is broken.
    It is still very painful for her and all of us. We always miss him and not a day goes by that we don’t think about him;but now we can talk about him without breaking down in tears, and share funny stories about him.
    This will also be true for you and your family. The hurt and pain will never go away, but with Gods love and support you family will move forward each day remembering the beloved husband and Father always, until you meet again.

  104. Oh Lori, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your best friend, your husband and the father of your children. There are no words that I have that can comfort you or take away your pain or your grief or even the nightmare you may have every day reliving that night. What I do have though and you already know Him is Jesus! He will lead you, guide you and carry you and be everything you need.
    Please take as long as you need to to grieve over your husband. Please know that the people that are being rude may not have walked in your shoes so don’t pay any attention to them. Just pray for them and let God deal with them. You sharing your hurt and pain is healing for you and could be helping someone else.
    Much love and prayers for you and your children!❤️🙏

  105. So much love and prayers for you and your children! I love your page, your family, and your views on faith and family!! I’m so sorry for your loss! I, too, struggle with an electrical issue with my heart. I have SVT and have also been told that it’s not life threatening and nothing to worry about. I had a really bad episode when I had Covid and was almost hospitalized. It’s a scary thought after reading this but I’m thankful for you sharing this story because now I feel that before, things I would’ve brushed off because they told me that it’s nothing to worry about, I will now try to be proactive about because I’m gonna think of Q!! Thank you!!

  106. Oh Lori,

    I am so so sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain because I had the same thing happen to me. My husband had a heart attack at home. He had a cardiologist appointment the day before that was canceled. The day it happened was the worst day of my life and my children’s. My daughter and I both did CPR. That was 13 years ago. My heart is with you. Truly. I also lost my sweet cousin at 45 years old from blood clots from Covid. It’s a real thing.

  107. I’m so sorry. I pray you and your children get peace and eventually are no longer in anguish on the what could I do differently. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. It’s a reminder for me to take intentional time with my husband and make time for us. I will keep you all in my daily prayers

  108. Your Q is now in your future! He is waiting for your time to join but in the meantime, I have to say that I am so honored to have followed you and to watch you gracefully (even if it doesn’t feel like it) maneuver through this difficult time. I absolutely LOVE that you’ve not taken your eyes off of the One who loved you first. The Lord is our refuge and strength and I admire your courage to be vulnerable in front of the world despite the negativity and horrible comments. Q is right in saying hurt people hurt people and I will add that strong people show others how to be strong! That is you Ms. Lori, you are strength! So, just know that you continue to bless me & others as we see you walking honestly yet with grace.

  109. Prayers to you and your sweet family! My heart hurts for you! Please know of your great testimony of not losing faith in our Almighty God and prioritizing your loved ones! I will pray for you and your family that you feel God’s comfort with you during this difficult time!

  110. Thank you for sharing the details. I suffer from long COVID as well and have had the same heart doctor visits with the same everything looks fine results. This is a reminder to continue to be vigilant but more importantly to love my family like there is no tomorrow and to serve God because our tomorrow is in HIS hands. We will keep praying for you and your family daily. ❤️

  111. I’m so sorry for your loss. Every time I see your posts talking about how hurt you are and you start to cry, I cry along with you. I’m one of those people that wanted to know what happened to him. It was as really hard to read that but thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry. Thanks for sharing your testimony of Jesus and his love for us by dying in the cross. I hope you find peace and rest in knowing you will one day see Q again.

  112. Psalm 139:16 “your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” – I sat bedside of my healthy younger sister for 75 days as one of her caregivers – she was withering away from a brain tumor. This verse was one of comfort as our hearts and minds kept screaming WHY??? I pray your faith brings you strength and peace. (Psalm 29:11) using this platform to share about HIS love and living your faith OUTLOUD is a beautiful thing. Prayers for you, crazybusymomma, and your beautiful kids 💕

  113. Lori im so sorry For your loss and grief that you and your family are going through. Thank you for sharing this incredibly heartbreaking story with us. That took a lot of courage and strength, and I myself appreciated tremendously. Prayers to you and your family as you heall your way through your incredible loss

  114. I’m heartbroken for you and your children…. I feel as if I just had coffee with a friend who had to brake this horrible reality to me. We have all become so invested in your story, your reality. You didn’t owe any of us the details of this tragedy, but you did. I thank you for the trust… as we have been silently grieving along side of you. My hope is this will will become a part of your healing – weather you know it or not. May God allow your story, to become a part of your testimony and bring others closer to Him. God’s word tells us in Romans 8:26-28 when we do not know what to pray, the Holy Spirit will intercede for us ….

  115. Thank you for sharing your life and final moments with Q. I have been praying and grieving with you through your posts and hope you can feel the prayers surrounding you and holding you up.
    Many prayers.

  116. Praying for you and your family. May God bring you his peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for sharing. God bless you!

  117. My heart hurts for you and your family. Anyone who tells you to just “move on” has obviously never experienced a great loss of someone who is a significant part of their life. My son and his wife had a baby girl during the COVID shut downs. She didn’t live long after the C-section due to an unknown catastrophic congenital heart defect. This baby that only lived about 2 hours on life support impacted our lives tremendously. We were all devastated, and 4 years later we still have a scarred over place in our hearts. You don’t get over it, you just learn to live with it in time. May God’s grace and strength continue to carry you through your heartache and healing process. Thank you for sharing your process of grief and process so openly and candidly. It helps people like me that have suffered many losses even since my granddaughter. I empathize and see my personal struggles with losing my 2 brothers and my father in the 3 years since the loss of my precious granddaughter. Life is hard, but we get through it by sharing and supporting others along the way. Thank you, and God bless.

  118. I am so truly sorry for your familys loss. Take it moment by moment, grieve the way you need too, and dont let the world tell you how to do it. And one day, it wont hurt as bad, . Hugs and prayers🙏

  119. Thank you for sharing your story! So sorry for your tragic loss! Our Pastor died from Covid on a ventilator and none of the family could go visit. Such a horrible disease that has affected so many in different ways. His family was also deviated. Praying for you and your family to heal! Hope sharing your story helps the process! The Lord will take you through your storm and use your testimony to help others! Sending love hugs and prayers. (Even though I don’t know you I feel like you are part of our family)

  120. Thank you for sharing your story, I have been praying for you & your family, the hurt, the loss, & the love you can tell y’all shared is so apparent. A reminder to all of us to take nothing for granted & live each day as if it could be your last, I have a couple friends & family member who over the last couple of years have lost their spouses, two of them to cancer & one suddenly of a heart attack, all of which were mine & my husband’s age, it is so surreal to see these women & their children navigate through these choppy waters as they continue to live their lives & it is always a reminder that could be me living that nightmare but it is only through God’s strength they continue to take those steps each day without their spouse & their children’s father. My husband has had some heart issues, one of which resulted in a stent placement due to what they call the widowmaker artery that was 80-90% blocked, it took over 6 months of back & forth doctor visits; medication changes; & echocardiogram’s before it was decided to do a cardiac CT that showed the blockage, he did not have typical symptoms, no chest pain but just periodic shortness of breath but he knew something wasn’t right, if he would not been persistent I feel his outcome would have been really bad. I’m so thankful each & everyday he listened to his body & we continued to pursue getting to the bottom of it before something worse happened, I feel like God was nudging us on. CBM you are an inspiration to many & sharing your story through this journey as raw as it can be at times is helping others & giving them needed strength & to know they are not alone & that it’s ok not to be okay. Bless you & your family, keep taking it moment by moment, God is always with you.

  121. I am so sad for you your children and will always add you all to my prayers. I am so happy you have Jesus in your heart to help you all in this devastating time and all thru the rest of your life.

  122. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know telling your story of that dreadful day had to be so hard. I am so sorry you had to endure such pain. Continued prayers for you and your children.

  123. I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is so unpredictable. It comes in waves. I lost a very close friend to suicide in November 2023. Totally unexpected. Her father passed away suddenly in October of 2023 of a heart attack. totally healthy. Active and in shape. This really was hard for her and her family. None of us know or have a clue why she done this. She loved her children so much and its so hard to try to understand why she would do this to her kids. Its a thought every day. Her two young boys will grow up without their Mom. I miss her so much!! I think of her every day. Some days its harder and hits differently. Its hard to lose anyone we love but I think when its sudden and unexpected the tragedy hits a little different than someone who has been sick and we are kind of expecting it.I know that day will haunt you and your children for quite some time but knowing you all have Q as an angel to watch over you all hopefully brings a little comfort. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers today and in
    the days ahead. We are stronger than we think. God’s grace is sufficient! May Gos bless you all. Much Love!!

  124. “Be glad he was here, not sad he is gone”. Easy to say, right? I do believe that is the key to survival though. Be the light for Q, and for the children. Carry on his legacy in every way, and know that complete strangers carry you in their thoughts each day. You’re an oh so strong lady who is only just beginning to shine.

  125. Continued prayers for you and your young family. Thank you for sharing the story and I hope this helps with your grieving. Praying for you Lori.

  126. Your life has opened my eyes to how beautiful you and your family are. You are a light to others by thanking God for the time you had with Quintin. I pray that God will be with you and strengthen you through this devastating grief. Thank you for sharing your love for Jesus and to others. We love you. Hugs your sister in Christ, Rose.

  127. As I read your story it took me back to February 28, 2001 at 10:00 pm, the night my mother who was only 46yrs old died suddenly, shockingly from ventricular fibrillation. I have never resonated with the exact words as I did with yours. The feelings of feeling outside of your body watching everything happen in slow motion but so fast and not being able to do anything to stop it. The feelings of going through the day trying to pin point what could of caused this. Could anything of been done differently knowing in your head there was nothing to stop it but your heart trying to understand it. The grief roller coaster is so extreme. The ups and downs you’ll feel forever but will eventually not hurt as badly but an emptiness is always there. One day you’ll be able to tell your story without crying. You’re taking the first steps talking about it which starts the healing. In my thoughts and prayers. ❤️

  128. I am so sorry to hear it was a Covid battle. I do not believe in the vaccines and all the boosters. My husband and I will no longer get any of those things. Right after I had the Covid vaccine of which I cried and didn’t want to take, 2 months later I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery. The reason I had to get the vaccine was because I worked at Methodist hospital and they made you get it. Covid messed up so many people. I saw so many horrible things at the hospital and it was young people like your husband. My personal opinion is that the shot or vaccine is the killer. I will no longer inject myself with these unnatural substances. I pray for you and your family. You look like an amazing mom. Your children look good. Stay safe. Hold on to each other.

  129. Lori, I follow you on Instagram and love your quick and easy recipes. I too lost my husband of 29 1/2 years on Jan 2, 2018. He died from 9/11 related lung cancer. He was a NYS Trooper and was at Ground Zero for 2 weeks right after it happened. He had 17 years before he started showing signs of labored breathing. He was tested and one thing lead to another and he was sick for 11 months before he passed. We have 3 wonderful, beautiful kids….27, 24 and 14 when he died. Thank God I have them. They are the reason I get up every morning. They have me and I have them. We work together to move forward without the love of my life and the best Dad to them. It has taken me years to get to where I am now and some days I still can’t believe that he’s gone. God has a plan! We just need to have faith that he will show us the way. Life can be absolutely magical and it can be so very hard but one thing is for sure….trust in God and he will show you the way. I am so sorry for the heartache, confusion and just plain old pain that you are experiencing. With time comes healing, understanding and acceptance. Ill keep you and your children in my prayers.
    Sue Anson
    Albany, NY

  130. Your are an amazing wife and mother! I am praying for you and your children. Your story is beautiful! Keep looking to Jesus! HE will lead and guide you. Do not allow the trolls or the enemy of your soul, distract you from what all the Lord has in store for you. Keep pressing forward as you have the strength. Moment by moment. Everyone grieves differently. You do you and do the best you can. The Lord will sustain and lead you!

  131. Im so sorry for your loss if your Dear Q. Thank you for sharing. I have tears reading. Stay strong. Q will be always be with you.

  132. Lori,
    I am so very sorry for your loss and I am sorry for every thoughtless and cruel comment you have received. I will continue to pray for peace for your family.

  133. So very sorry. So much of your story resonates personally. My husband and I met in the 8th grade, dated on and off throughout school and married in 1997, and welcomed our first of 3 kids that same year. He is my rock and safe space. I can’t imagine that whole scenario you experienced and continue to relive every day like Groundhog Day. I too would be so lost without my best friend and partner in crime of 27 years. Our anniversary is 5/31 so we too just celebrated another year together. I am so sorry for your pain and loss. Do not give the trolls and haters an ounce of your joy. You are a ray of light in so many people’s day, that joy is so much better served elsewhere. Even in your pain and grief it is obvious that you are a giver and have a servants heart and the world is made so much better by you being here sharing all that you have, even the pain and grief. The Lord bless you and keep you and your sweet family in his righteous and merciful hands.

  134. I truly respect the honesty you used in telling us this very difficult story. Things will be alright.

  135. Your precious family is in my prayers daily. I can’t imagine. I’m sorry you have to see hurtful comments. I’d like to think most of the world is kind but it only takes one bad apple. You sharing your pain, hurt and confusion with your followers will help someone I’m certain. Sharing also allows an army of people to be on your side praying for you to navigate through this time.

  136. I too lost my husband at 45 years old suddenly to cardiac arrest, we had been married for 28 years. I was so thankful for my 2 young sons, I knew I had to be there for them, but had no idea how to handle it since I still had both my parents and couldn’t imagine how they felt. Seeing your kids break down… I will never ever forget it. It’s so very difficult, your life is forever changed and everyone else can go back to their normal lives. It’s now been 18 years since my life changed forever. My sons are wonderful adults, but it is something you never get over, the hole in my heart remains. I continue to move forward but the milestones he has missed and will miss still affect me greatly. We just had our first grandchild, and we always said we would be wonderful grandparents, and it’s heartbreaking. I know by sharing your story and your daily posts on Instagram you are truly helping people who are going through this. I’m so sorry there are people who post such terrible things. Hang in there, and know I will be praying for you and your family.

  137. No words can convey my deepest sympathy. You are an amazing woman who our Lord and Savior has wrapped His arms around and will never leave you, despite this great heartbreak you are going through. Thank you for sharing your Quintin with all of us. He truly lived his life in a way that demonstrated his huge love of you and your children. God bless you and your family.❤️💐

  138. I have loved your quick wit and personality since the first time I saw your beautiful smile on a short video, cooking something quick and easy.
    My heart breaks for you and your children. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. God hears and he heals in ways we could never imagine. Q will be a part of you and your kids for the rest of your lives. He already knows the journey you are having to embrace, but he and our Lord are carrying you through. It’s ok to be human and to grieve. Please take those moments. Use that time to help others. Use it to help your children. You have a great message to tell and those Q-isms will touch so many! Sending love and hugs and especially prayers.

  139. Even when there seems to be no words, you’ve beautifully expressed so much about that day and your beloved Q. Thank you for sharing, as you are definitely helping others and bringing them closer to Jesus. I’m praying God’s favor and peace over you.

  140. Lori thank you so much for sharing. I know that you were being pushed and people were making comments and assumptions about what actually occurred. I’m so very sorry that your family went through this and your family went through this. I can’t imagine. my brother had a similar reaction not so much to Covid but from the vaccine.. he always was a perfectly healthy, athletic man and suddenly had an electrical issue with his heart called SVT. Thank God they were able to correct it with surgery. he actually stopped breathing and pass out and put his car through a wall. Thank God he was not hurt nor was anyone else . It is a very scary thing the unknown. That is why living your life to the fullest each day and loving and forgiving our people it’s a very important. It really seems that you and Q lived that life. Keep making your posts. We are all here for you many many many strangers that you’ll never meet. 😘

  141. I am so very sorry you and your family are going through this. I too started having heart arrythmia issues after having covid, I have had every heart work up that they could think of and they just keep saying it’s an electrical issue in my heart, but my heart is very healthy, so this hits home a lot for me. Thank you for sharing your story, even though I know how painful it is. Just you sharing this has made me want to further look into this and may help others in this situation, so thank you!

  142. What an incredible life he lived and oh how loved he was! God bless him, you and your family. Always remember “ God is with me always” Mathew 28:20

    Q is with you always as well as your beautiful children

    Prayers for you and your family

    Jade ❤️

  143. Hi Lori so sad to hear this but tgank you for sharing, may it ease your grief for sharing with us all.
    I want to say this was very knowledgeable information too Its helpful to know this type of heart issues exist and are life threatening you are amazing person even though in life we are strangers but I feel so much like your family and I am praying for you and your beautiful children. May God make it easy for you and them to carry on and give your home tranquility and patience
    Amen 🙏🫶🏻🙏🫶🏻🙏🫶🏻🙏🫶🏻

  144. Hi Lori

    I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. You are so strong to be able to share the details of what happened. I’m so sorry that it was a sudden tragic loss. You are so lovely and positive, to see you broken makes my heart hurt for you all.

    I’m sending you strength and healing, positive vibes to one day in hopes this gets easier for all of you. So very sorry

  145. I was wondering if he received any covid shots. This was the first thing I thought of when I heard it being “sudden”. There is no such thing as “long covid” only the effects of the shot itself on each individual. I worry about my daughter and son-in-law about this. I don’t know if you’ve heard the stories of the young people just dropping to the ground, especially the athletes. Dr. Naomi Wolf has been researching this with startling information about the side affects of the shots. My sympathy and prayers to you and your family during this very sad time. Life goes on as the grieving never ends. As I watch your videos, I tear up because I know and feel your pain. God Bless you and your wonderful children. Take care. ❤️🙏

  146. God bless you and your family; we will continue praying for you all daily …. Thank you Jesus for such a wonderful witness …. 🙏❤️

  147. This is heart wrenching to read. People can be so incredibly mean and heartless. I am prayig for you and the family as you navigate your new normal.

  148. Lori and family: I have lived what you are going through! My husband and I were in another town driving down the street to our daughters house for a barbecue. Suddenly, the pick up veered to the right and on to a sidewalk and the last words I heard my husband say was “oh no”. While driving down the street, my husband passed away from a massive heart attack. Somehow, and I don’t remember how, I managed to get the pick up stopped and help was there immediately! My husband was 55 years old. I have been a widow for almost 21 years . I am so sorry for some of the negativity you and your children are receiving from others! I was told, there is no time limit on grief. You take as long as you need. It’s been almost 21 years for me, and I still grieve. There are many things that can trigger a grieving moment..a picture, a song, a memory…..whatever. I talk about my husband a lot, as do my children and grandchildren, so keep Q alive in your conversations,. I am sending you love, hugs and have prayed that you and yiur children can find strength and guidance in the coming days! Sending you love, hugs and prayers! ❤️🤗🙏🏻

  149. Lori, we pray for you all.
    Your outreach to us all about what happened was devastating. You didnt owe anyone answers about what happened. Just know you lost the best friend and husband is enough. You all will always be in our prayers god love you all.

  150. Best blessings & thank you sharing & helping getting to know your family better. Prayers for sure, & love!

  151. We know you didn’t have to share your story but thank you. Q sounds like a wonderful man and I know God blessed you both when you became one. Continued prayers for you and your children. I loved Q’s saying “Hurt people hurt people”. So so true. You keep doing you and those that say hurtful things deserve to be blocked. No one knows your pain but you. God’s got you in His embrace.

  152. So deeply sorry for the loss of your best friend and what sounds like amazing partner ans father… I am also so so sorry for the hurtful comments people have sent you… just inexcusable truly… Q was right, hurt people say hurtful things… may you find peace in the 31 years that you were blessed with, and peace in the legacy he leaves behind.. his children. I will pray for you and your children to find peace and comfort knowing he is with our heavenly father.

  153. I read your story with tears brimming my eyes. My BFF lost her husband at age 52 of a heart attack with a similar story (not covid but a heart attack a week after a yearly check up with a clean bill of health. She found herself a single parent – of 4 kids. She had to take the helm of their business while in full grief mode. It was hard watching and helping her navigate those waters with grace and fortitude. Five years later the Lord brought her a mate who had lost his wife in similar circumstances. Their marriage and love is different then the first. They respect the life they had and they go together to care for the graves of the one they lost. Through the pain God has given them new life and love. I wish for you and your kids strength for joy will eventually come again.

  154. Your honest, raw, vulnerability during this process is incredible. Thank you for sharing this journey with the world. I can say that you changed my perspective on things, and for that I am grateful. You and your children will be in my continued prayers!

  155. Dear sweet Lori, Not sure if it’s possible to get thru grief like yours. Especially when you have nosy people who think they’ve got the answer. I do understand why you wait to discuss this. The only important things are your children. Waves of different feelings and emotions will come that only you and the kiddos will be able to help. God will show you the way, count on that only, not this worĺd. Take your time, knowing nothing will ever be the same. Peace will eventually take over and your worries will change. Peace is the sweetest gift.The kiddos will take their own journey. Having you in their lives is so important. You will share the peace beyond all understanding 💕

  156. Lori,
    You and your beautiful children are in my daily prayers. My boys 6 & 8 enjoy watching you whip something delicious up on CBM/Fb. It’s given us so many wonderful ideas, we have to change things around since I have celiac disease but they’re a time saver & so delicious. I was fortunate to go to high school with Quintin. He was a senior when I was a freshman. Even then such a charismatic & genuine person.

    This blog hits an extremely close to my own long covid experience. I actually said to myself after hearing of his passing,”he had long covid complications”. There was no other explanation. I too idiopathic arrhythmias, have had cardiac experiences with my heart racing into the 200’s plus(SVT), I can feel my heart fluttering and bounding at times which causes my BP to sky rocket and my Oxygen level to drop into the low 80’s. My cardiologist has reassured me the same thing. My electrical system although has changed isn’t lethal. I have vocal cord disfunction which I have never even heard of honestly up until this. I have other strange things I’ve never had prior to long covid. WashU/Barnes has an amazing long covid team. They have tried to do everything that they can. I went from working out consistently feeling so young to maybe 3x’s a weeks feeling exhausted. I just watch things closely, even more now.
    I know this was extremely difficult to let us in on the painful details of that day, and days/weeks to follow. But thank you! You’ve given others so much strength and courage. Quintin’s helping so many others now, not just with long covid from you sharing, but others in so many different ways, you both are. This has given me more strength to be more assertive and a better advocate for myself when telling my care team what I expect, to being more mindful of my own symptoms.
    We pray the lord eases your pain and continues to give you strength. You’re amazing Lori, and under these circumstances doing the best you can. Each day is a new day and take each day with grace. There’s no guide or reference on how to grieve so you grieve how you want. Scream, laugh, cry really whatever gives you and your kids comfort. I love the statement you used that Quintin would say, “hurt people, hurt people”. Yes! I will be sharing that my kids. I’m sorry they do, but don’t let them hurt you further. It’s a reflection of them not you Lori. Continue to shine amongst the darkness of others.

  157. Lori thank you for sharing your husband life with all of us. I hope you continue to share. This is a step in healing. There are some people that will never understand and send hateful comments. You were certainly blessed with Q. I pray for you and your children daily. You are definitely helping others who maybe grieving. You are a bright light in a world that is broken and divided. You will see your Q soon. I hope to see you in heaven. Thank you for sharing. 🙏

  158. Both my dad and my brother died a heart attacks at age 46. So young! Prayers have gone up for you and your children. 🙏🏻

  159. Ugh! My heart breaks for you and your children! I hope you’ll continue to find strength in Christ Jesus! For the life of me, I don’t understand mean people. You are handling it like a champ with dignity. I don’t think I could do the same. I admire your strength.
    So incredibly sorry for your loss. I love your reels and your page.

    Tina

  160. {{{HUGS}}} Lori, to you and your family. I’m in my 70’s, I’ve been widowed for 10+ years, no children. JR was my second husband, we had just about 21 years together. The circumstances of my husband’s death are very different. But I learned that instead of always asking the unanswerable questions, realizing it was my JR’s journey, and I had little to do with the timing, is my saving grace. When my mind wanders to search for un-discoverable explanations, I rely on my faith and default to counting my many blessings. This works for me, along with all kinds of ‘therapies’ over the years; massage, acupuncture, chiropractic have helped me release the energies where my body holds the grief. I never knew how physical grief could be. I am amazed at your ability to continue writing, and so well. I lost all written words for about 3 years, could neither read for more than a few moments or write in my journal. Words failed me, but I discovered paper collage journals through an art therapy studio and those helped me process my feelings, because we get to have them ALL during this journey. It is an emotional roller coaster most of the time. Much love to you through this lifelong process. Thank you for sharing such raw and blessed emotions with us. For me, even after all this time, you are a beacon of hope that all is right in the world, always on God’s time. Also if you are so inclined, I suggest checking out SoaringSpirits.com founded by a young widow with children and it has grown into an international organization. I have met so many lifelong friends through their ‘Camp Widow’, a convention of sorts, but everyone attending ‘understands’. {{{HUGS}}} My advice for at least the first year…just stop and BREATHE! I now count you as one of my blessings. (Also, a reminder to stay hydrated, it is so important. Coffee is not hydration. Wink!)

  161. I am so sorry. My heart has been breaking for you since I heard the awful news. Know that I’ve lifted you up in prayer, for the Lord, He is good. The weather is nice here in KC now, so get some sun, it will do you good. Much love.

  162. Thank you for sharing this, as difficult as it is. I started following your page a couple years ago….love your spunk! But mostly I love your faith💕. Mine is weak but following you has been so encouraging. God bless you and your four beautiful children!

  163. Lori,
    I ache with you!! Your situation made me think more about how I have taken my husband for granted. Just believing he will always be here. It has forced me to thank God for the gift of my marriage, to have someone by my side to do life with. I have even expressed to him more that I am truly thankful for the husband he is to me and the father he is to our children.
    I hate it took crying with you in your stories to wake me up! We get busy with our lives we forget how finite we are. Our lives are but a vapor.
    You and your kids have been on my mind and in my hearts, I pray for you and your family often. Thank you for doing what is so hard and sharing with us. I am grateful for your encouragement through your own grief. * It hurts to know people can be cruel and cold towards your loss! God bless them, they truly don’t know what they are saying!! I pray they find Jesus in their lives.*

  164. People are really mean, they have no filter and no heart , I’m so sorry you are going through such devastation in your life , I will be praying for you and your kiddos , I’m a mother of 2 adult children and twin grandchildren and I know how precious family is and my heart hurts for you, just ignore all those negative comments, block and delete and report them, they shouldn’t be allowed to hurt people with their words. Praying for strength and comfort 🙏🙏

  165. So very sorry for you and your family. I lost my husband 11 years ago and it still feels like it was yesterday. No one can take away all those wonderful memories you and your husband shared. As for the evil people who have nothing in their lives there day will come. Stay strong for yourself and your children. Praying for strength for all of you.

  166. As a 71 yr old 2-time widow I send hugs for the extreme pain of your loss. God will help you take each and every baby step forward. The love you have each day in your heart is meant to be used … somedays on your kiddos … somedays on yourself … somedays in the smiles or tears your share with strangers. Keep spending your love – it is all we truly have. May God bless you & yours!!

  167. Beautifully written. The hat hanging on the cross is definitely a sign from your husband and God. I love those God moments of reassurance. May God hold you and continue to comfort you during this most difficult time. Prayers for you all.

  168. I am so sorry you are hurting and people made awful comments. I don’t usually comment on these things but I am to encourage you. Healing is not linear. You deserve to grieve in whatever way you need to. I think it’s good for your kids to see you grieve. Paul speaks on this to the Corinthians so that you may use it to comfort others for HIS glory. I hate that you even have to be put in the path BUT GOD. He is there with you. He grieves with you and your kids too. He knows the depth of your hurt. He loves you and your kids. Praise be that one day you will all be reunited without pain and tears. Praise be for that day. I have a friend that lost a son at the age of 8 and she told me the hurt is deep but it also is a blessing that she has more reason to keep her eyes on Jesus because she can’t wait to get there and hug see her son. I loved that heart breaking perspective.

  169. My heart breaks for you and your sweet kids. Even in your pain you are a wonderful inspiration to all who follow you. God never wastes our pain! Continue to hold to His Truth. He loves you more than you can imagine. 🙏

  170. Prayers in Jesus Name for you and your children! Ignore the hateful comments. Let Them move on.

  171. I can’t begin to imagine your pain! I’m praying for you and your precious family! God bless you with His peace and strength for each day!

  172. I’m so sorry for your loss and can’t imagine how people would leave rude comments! I also have an arrythmia that I’m told is not fatal. I pray for you and your family.

  173. You are loved and just as we don’t need the details to pray for you neither do we need to know you personally to love you. You are being lifted up to the Lord we both serve. Grief has no time limit and you keep sharing your struggle of grief because I know listening to you share your story and realness has helped me not feel so alone in the struggle after losing my husband a little over a year ago . I have no idea how I even starting seeing you on your crazy busy mama site but it came up just a few weeks before your husband passed. I now take that as what you call a God wink . He knew I needed to hear you share and have someone to relate to. I will pray peace over you every-time you come to my mind ❤️

  174. Oh Lori … I am so very sorry. What a horrible, horrible experience for you and your sweet kiddos. I am happy, however, that you have a wonderful faith in Jesus and know what a wonderful guardian angel you all have. My heart goes out to you. Prayers will continue as you navigate the loss of Quintin. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  175. This hits so close to home and I’m so sorry for you and your children’s loss. I am at high risk for SCA and have a defibrillator but it is an every day reminder to hug your kids and your loved ones every day. My heart aches for you.

  176. Lori, I can’t begin to imagine the heartbreak you and the kiddos are going through. I can’t bear to think of losing my hubby of 54 years. I only know you and Q thru airwaves, but what a gentle giant it sounds like he was. And I bet he never met a stranger. I am so happy you have SO many photographs, stories and great memories of Q to share and hold on to. Know that there are many of us thinking of you all and praying for & with you. But you already walk with the Best Advisor and Friend daily. ~Marilyn

  177. Thank you for sharing your journey! Oh my how my heart hurts for you & your family! I’ve shared with you in messages how deep the pain of losing your spouse is, but I can’t imagine all you & your children felt in that moment.. my husband had been ill, we were in the hospital and I related to you saying you cried out gratitude in that deep pain! I did the same adding gratitude that Scottie’s suffering from FTD was finally done He was whole!
    God bless you as you lean into the Lord & you & your family feel His peace, grace & strength new each day!

  178. I am so glad you shared this information and your story. I lost my mom to covid and a blood clot. I believe certain things about what caused the blood clot in regards to contracting the virus after multiple vaccinations and boosters at the exposure and onslaught of symptoms. Years later I still struggle with the secrecy of what happen, as if she did something wrong and trying to explain to my kids how and why we aren’t supposed to talk about it. Telling and working through your babies sadness has got to be the hardest part of grief.
    My heart goes out to you and the veil of secrecy you are living under to protect your livelihood.
    Thank you for pushing through and showing God in everything you do.

  179. Reading this I feel for you! My mom suffered from Sudden Cardiac death and was without oxygen for 45 minutes. The paramedics finally got a rhythm back and she was in the hospital for weeks unconscious.. They tried everything to wake her up even freezing her. Eventually she did wake up and it has been the longest road. She suffered a severe brain injury due to this and has lost her short term memory. The same thing happened, she was just walking up the stairs at her sisters house and basically died. At leas that is what the Dr’s said. I flew to New Jersey from Florida to help make all the funeral arrangements thinking there was no way she would wake up. I am so sorry you guys are going through this. It is so scary to think how our lives can literally change in an instant. You and your family are in my prayers daily

  180. Lori,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your children. I’m also praying for people who say mean things. Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Peace be with you all.

  181. I am so glad you shared this. Your faith shines through so strongly. I love that. It’s what gets us through in times like these. Take it one hour at a time, not even one day at a time. I enjoy your posts so much.

  182. As I am sure this was so difficult to write, it does also help you in this journey of life without Q. My husband was killed in a motorcycle accident at 38 yo. His son died a month before (illness) and we were still grieving from that. The comments and speculations of my husband’s death were hurtful and wrong – but could not focus on that. People will always have “something” to say regardless. His accident was truly an accident. I recall every moment that morning and still makes me smile. He was coming to meet me for lunch that day and when he didn’t show – I just “knew”. Our son was 11 at the time. We kept busy – went on with our daily routines of school and work and thank goodness for sports! Kids are resistant and strong. My son is now 30 with a family of his own. People always say “how did you do it? “. My only answer was “we just did”. Everyone handles grief differently- it’s not a “just get over it”. You keep doing you and don’t listen to the haters. Journaling was a coping mechanism for me. It’s hard to ignore the inappropriate questions and comments but you seem to do well with this. Much love and prayer to you and your children. It’s OK to have an OK day or event not so OK. ❤️

  183. Dear Lori
    Thank you so much, for being so open and sharing your story with us. It’s so hard and so sad. May you know, that Jesus was, is and always will be by your side. He will comfort you, he will help you and he will give you new strength, he will be your protector and he will always be by your side and carry you through all the seasons of your life. Some days are so hard, some are beautiful, some you don’t know how to take a step forward… everything you feel is ok. You are not alone in this.
    If you want to take a break at some point and like to visit Switzerland, you are very welcome here at our place 🙂
    With love
    Smaranda

  184. It’s so hard to say I’m sorry for your hurt! May your family have comfort in any way possible! Stay strong and I know you know God loves you and is always with you.

  185. Thank you for sharing your story. Oddly, my husband has been complaining of these odd heart palpitations, and doctors Keep telling him that he’s all right. He’s also has this weird jaw pain that they have no idea what it’s from. He’s extremely tired too. Could it be something related to the covid he had in 2021, maybe. You can rest assured, I’m sending to the doctors asap.

  186. I got the chills reading where he placed his hat that day. Clearly a sign of his strength and faith. Your story is a reminder to be happy and grateful for each day and every moment. Many prayers for your healing process. 🙏

  187. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your raw emotions and experience. My husband and I lost our 33-year-old son in March and are still reeling in a lot of ways. I feel your pain and I will pray for you and your sweet kiddos. ❤️

  188. Your loss is great. You know this and you can and are still praising God. This is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. I am a widow too. Time helps but you are right to grieve as you need to at this time and always. Lori, you and your precious family will remain in my prayers and heart. Blessings from the Lord as you each move forward during this major loss. God is your keeper.

  189. Lori, we live miles and miles apart, in different countries actually, but my heart aches for you and your precious children just as if we were close neighbours. I will say some extra prayers for you all and can’t wait to see that smile and hear that bubbly personality once again in your posts…when you are ready. ❤️

  190. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I have been following you for a couple of year and to see the news hit me hard. I felt like you lived next door and we had cooked out together and knew one another. I broke down and grieved very hard for you. My husband and I have always been very close, but had some struggles last year. Those struggles truly brought us much closer together, more than I ever thought was possible. We have truly become best friends & lovers. We have learned to appreciate each other so much more.
    Life wasn’t always great for us. After a couple of years of infertility, we had a son in 2012. He was born with an absent corpus callosum- a very important connecting piece to both sides of his brain. (We were also told he needed surgery on his genitalia, which is apparently common with boys). Neither of which were going to be life threatening, but that he would more than likely be autistic. Other than that, he was a perfectly normal, healthy baby boy. 4 months later, he suddenly started retaining fluid one day. That night, we took him to the ER, where they were prepping him to be flown to our closest children’s hospital, where his urologist was located. “As soon as we can get the IV in & get him stable, we’re out of here. Grab your belongs and get ready to go.” I had no longer turned around to grab the diaper bag when I heard the nurse panicking and call for help saying he was seizing. We were immediately escorted out of his room as they brought the crash cart in. The blue light came on above his room as we heard the intercom call his room number and announce it was a code blue. I spent the next 20 minutes, what felt like hours, on my knees begging God to save my baby boy but to let His will be done. I had a sudden calmness wash over me as I felt like his hand was on my shoulder as he whispered in my ear that this was his will. Moments later, the doctors came out and asked us to come say goodbye.
    Reading your blog brought back these horrific memories but it was so great to hear how you kept your faith in God! I have been told multiple times how strong I am & how our faith was making an impact to many.
    I’m so sorry you are going through this! I will continue to pray for you & your children, for peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for sharing & for allowing my own grief to be shared to better heal myself. God Bless!

  191. I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am about Quinton. What a wonderful family you had and still have but an empty space is there… I lost my sister a year ago from a flesh eating disease. We did not know, thought it was sciatica. Took her to hospital to get relief, they came out and told us they were taking her to surgery. She never made it through, heart attack . God has carried me through this , it is still not real. I so feel for you and your family, sending love and prayer 😢💙🙏🏻

  192. I’m truly sorry for you and your children’s loss but also for the people that doesn’t understand and are cruel!! When you love someone so much and then realizing you’ll never get to ask them for advice, to kiss them, or anything else is so painful, it’s unimaginable!! You’re life is turned upside down and you feel you’ve feel in a deep pit. After my husband passed away in 2015 I feel into depression. My daughter kept telling me to quit dying for Dad and live for her! So, I did! I now have a new granddaughter and I’ve remarried to a wonderful man! God is the ONLY answer to our grief! He kept me living and breathing every minute, every hour, and every day! I couldn’t have made it without our wonderful father in heaven! I’m praying for you and your family! God bless you!!

  193. I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your precious Quinton. My husband and I are an older couple and in 2023 he suffered with Covid three times in one year. He has now been since October 2023 either in a hospital/rehab center trying to get back on his feet. No one had any answers as his legs would not hold him any longer. He fell in our house and taken by ambulance to the hospital. We are seeing improvement hopefully will be able to come home soon. I’m so thankful for reading your story and you sharing this with me, Covid has done so much damage we just don’t even know it’s affects , you and I will never take another minute for granted

  194. My daughter died like that almost the same way and we Dont have answers. The autopsy didn’t give any answers they were baffled how a healthy 30 year old could die so suddenly. I feel your pain. Without God and daughters and myy husband along with the gkids I wouldn’t be able to make it. It’s been 9 1/2 years. Grief softens but never goes away. My husband said I cried almost every day for 3 years. I still cry but no where as often. I miss her deeply. She would have been 40 May 29 .
    I’m praying for you and the kids. God blessed you and the kids. Robin

  195. Lori,
    What an unimaginable tragedy. To have the strength to write Q’s story, life and passing shows your strengths. May God continue to carry you and your kiddo,s through this time. You ignore all the naysayers. I’m sorry for your loss.

  196. My hear aches for you. I understand loosing some one suddenly my husband was 45 when he passed he was healthy and loved life in January of 2015 he went to the they told him he had blood clots and if he took certain medicines he would be fine. A month and a half later he was hospitalized and told us oh I am sorry it was cancer and a week later after much arguing from me to get him home with his family I was laying beside him when his heart stopped out daughter had went down to our friends house and was pulling in when I came out screaming for her to go back to and get help her dad wasn’t breathing in a of this I could not think CPR was started and the medical doctors told me the same we did all we could do. That’s when we turn it over to God and try not to blame ourselves why did I not see it why did I trust the doctors. All we can do is trust God and know we will see them again. Don’t worry whG others say about grief I pray for them and pray the never know the pain. May God bless you

  197. I will definitely be praying for you and your kids! Life is short. Too short. I will be more intentional with things I do with my husband and son from now on! I needed to read your post!

  198. To Lori, and your beautiful family ,

    My heart hurts for you all. The strength you show through your faith is so uplifting to so many of us, who are also grieving a loved one. Your love was truly inspiring , and shown in so many forms on you social
    Media . I lost my mom to this exact thing! It lead her to stroke out. Her doctors as well all said, it wasn’t fatal, and that she could have a defibrillator placed if her heart rate
    Continued to climb. It would climb, high than be normal. She passed in 2017! As you grieve for your best friend, I’m still grieving mine. My mother my angel. I always believe as much as our loved ones know they aren’t 100%, they never felt they’d see their last day! Reading your story about CPR , I hysterically cried. I too did cpr on my sweet mother as my young nieces and nephews who lived with her , begged me to bring her back! To this day I wonder the what ifs. We can only move forward with one foot in front of the other , one day, one moment, one second & breath at a time. Grief is something that will comes
    In waves over time. Take all the time you need to go through it ! No one has
    The right to tell you how to grieve !!! NO one ! Hugs, Love & Light !
    Praying for you all!

  199. So sorry for your loss. Quintin’s service was beautiful. He must have had a feeling after the long covid diagnosis that his time here was cut short since you mentioned he left you a letter.

  200. Lori,

    My husband also is experiencing issues with his COVID, his are all neurological. I cried reading your post, and even more when I saw the picture of Q’s hat on the cross. I have that same cross on my wall. I will never look at that cross the same after reading your post and seeing that picture. It will forever remind me to appreciate the time we have on earth with our loved ones, and to pray for those grieving loss. I am sorry that anyone would tell you to stop sharing your grief or to get over it. I think you sharing is helping so many who have come to know you through social media who may be dealing with grief. You will also always have a whole is your heart where Q’s love lives but only through time and God’s strength will it lessen. It will never ever truly leave until you are reunited again woth Q but the greatest thing about our faith is knowing that day will someday come! Lifting you and your family up in prayer.

  201. I thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing such personal experiences. Your faith is BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for the details, you have brought light to something my “healthy 29 year old son” has been going through with no answers from the medical community. As a nurse and mom it’s so frustrating but I will now be pushing the issue and testing more!
    You and your family our in my prayers, keep being “YOU” and letting your faith and light shine bright❤️ let go of the negative comments, you have a heavenly kingdom that knows the truth and loves you. Let others serve and love on you and your Family during this season of grief. God bless you Lori, Q and family.

  202. My husband was killed in a motor vehicle accident on 9/17/23. He was 46yo. The love of my life. Our granddaughter was born 12 hours earlier and he wanted to do an early shift at work so he could make it to the hospital for visiting hours. He never made it. When I learned of your husband’s passing, though I never knew him, it’s as if I mourn alongside you. I relate to the sadness and pain in your face all too well. When you cry, I actually cry. I have learned that grief does not discriminate and will literally tap you on the shoulder when you’re having a better day. I have also learned that this is as bad as you think it is. I was angry with God for “taking” my husband. However, I am now able to Thank God for borrowing my husband to me for 10 years. My thoughts and prayers continue for you and your family.

  203. Lori, My heart breaks for you and your beautiful children. I lost my wonderful husband 10 yrs ago! May 29th! Due to Cardiac Arrest.He was only 48! I received a call as I was almost done with my work shift from his supervisor he was in Full Cardiac Arrest on the job sight HVAC He didn’t even make it to the hospital. He passed in the ambulance! This has clearly been the worst day of my life! We had a 29 urold son n a 27, yr old daughter and waht we called our surprise baby…our 7yr old daughterI questioned God so many times “Why did I have this baby @ 40? We were just blessed with a grandson now we are parents to a newborn! I clearly remember questioning this again in April. When he passed in May I never questioned why I had her. I now know. Her name is Marissa…part Mart part LisaGod knew why I had her and that awful day I also realized it. I will never get over his absence but I have figured out how to adjust …(most days) Grieve as you need! There are many that understan# Those that do not…aee fortunate they don’t. Sending healing love and comfort!

  204. So sad to read this my heart breaks for you all. Thanks for sharing a very heartbreaking story. I we keep you and family in my Prayers🙏♥️

  205. So well written. I lost my husband and on his tombstone I had written “we will be together again “. That brings me daily peace as I hope it does you. I so admire your faith…

  206. My heart is with you. I wanted to suggest to you to try and get in touch with Chris Cuomo on News Nation every evening and he is also suffering from long term Covid. He is always having the top doctors, etc. who are studying and dealing with this on a daily basis. He may be to help you in many ways in your search for answers. Just a thought. 🙏🏻

  207. Again?Sorry for your loss of your soulmate your best friend your husband. I am also a widow. My husband passed from cancer with two types of cancer on January 5th, 2021. We were together for over 35 years. We met when I was was 17 and a senior in High-school. He was 5 years older then me, he was 22. He was separated but still married with a child who I raised while I was in high school. Our son today is 38 and he says, I’m his only mom. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it hurts. There is no time line on grieving. It has been 3 years six months in 2 more days. It does get easier but still hurts and I cry. Crying is healing and no you are one more day closer to see him again. I lost lots of friends because they told me to get over it and treat it like a divorce. What? I was in love with my husband and he was in love with me. He was my soulmate and best friend and lover. A divorce, a person is still alive and you can run into them or hear them by a phone call or get a text. The dead, can’t do this. These so called friends and a strangers have never been through what I or you have been through. You do what’s best for you and your family. Your doing everything right from what I can see, and sharing his videos, pictures and keeping him in memory. Healing takes time and there is no expiration date. We have two adult children and three grandchildren. The last grandchild,he never met. Our grandson was born April 23, 2021. My husband’s nickname was, BabyBoy by me lol. My grandson’s nickname is also baby boy. I’m finally finding out who I am and what I want to do in life. I never lived on my own in my life and now at age 53 I moved out from my daughters home and now have my own chick place and I love it. I was caring for my my three grandbabies, but Nana had to move out and start my journey and next chapter of my life without my husband. I forgot to mention to you, when I found you on Favorite years ago, I loved your name, “Crazy busy Mama” I started laughing, because my name was “Krazy Buzy Nana” lol 😆 Hang in there, my friend and delete and block the negative people. Thos has helped me so much and I’m so much happier and stronger now.

    Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family 🙏❤️

  208. Lori – first and foremost I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend, husband and the father of your children. This sounds like what my mother experienced with my father. Only he had gotten up to go to the bathroom and while getting back into bed, collapsed and died.
    My experience losing my husband 14 years ago, although different, the same grief fills your heart. My husband died of lung cancer. Hearing my children begging for him to pass away still haunts me. The death rattle he had was loud, it went on forever and only ceased when he passed away. May 30th would have been our 43rd wedding anniversary, we had been together 45 years. He died August 22, 2010, so after our 29th anniversary and only 4 days after my birthday.
    God works in mysterious ways, I met my current husband January 11th, 2012. My first husband proposed to me on that day in 1981. My current husband’s birthday is August 22nd, the same date of 1st husbands passing. They both share the same middle name and it is spelt the same way. They have some of the same mannerisms and have so many similarities. It took me a while to date my current husband because I was spooked. But as God would have it, I married him. With one door closing another opens…
    Grief will never go away, it changes, always remember the wonderful times you shared together. I was blessed to have been with my 1st husband for 31 wonderful years, we had 3 beautiful children together and shared so many memories. My heart is always full, I miss him daily and wish he could be here with us. God needed him for another journey.
    Bless you and your family,
    Mona

  209. My husbands brother died years ago at age of 26 as he had a fast/slow heart rate. Electrical problem. He was on medication but the Lord took him. He was married with a young 16 month old son who never knew him. That was in 1971. I wish peace to you and God’s continuing love! It will never get better or lighter, but hopefully better just day to day, year to year. Hopefully more of a dull feeling than a stabbing pain!

  210. Lori, this must have been so difficult to retell the details.. 🙁 My heart hurts for you and your children. I believe your story will be a testimony and strength to others, somehow someday. May God’s peace and comfort continue to be with your family.

  211. Many many prayers for you and your family. I helped to support a friend in circumstances close to yours and I know how hard it is, try to let friends & family help as much as possible. Love your faith and your heart.

  212. My heart hurts for you and your sweet kiddos as you just endured so much. We all know death is a part of life but it is so hard. I think how much harder it is for those who are not believers.
    Only God knows when it is our time to be called home. So we must love each other everyday as if it was our last.
    I lost my husband last March while we were in the ER waiting to go upstairs for more tests. No warning he was talking one minute and gone the next. Medical staff were there and couldnt save him after 45 mins. God knew it was his time.
    Know we are praying for strength for you and there will be sadness, madness and then happiness will find a way again into your life afain. Remenber all of the memories made. Q will watch over all of you. Sending love, hugs and prayers…

  213. I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing husband and father. Praying for you and your kids to find comfort and healing.

  214. Thank you for this heartfelt description of April 9th. I am crying with you as I read this. I will pray for you all and ask the Lord for more godwinks as you navigate through this grief. I am so proud of you for sharing and I thank you very much. God bless you all!!

  215. My heart goes out to you and your family. My father inlaw passed suddenly so we understand your emotions. I will pray for a peace for you and your family with so much love!!!

  216. My husband was older, 73, and a heart patient, but was fit, hardworking, we were giving 3 bids for carpentry the day he died. Our last day was also wonderful… we were together all day, took a mile long walk in the park, took a side by side ride to watch the deer on our little road, ate supper, he even pulled me to him for a slow dance across the floor, which we hadn’t done in months. We watched a movie, the news and then shut it off and were lying beside each other when I heard a strange sound I’d never heard and I quickly asked h if he was choking but he was gone! I too did CPR until the EMT personnel arrived but he was gone. I share your grief, as do my children and their children. It’s the hardest thing we’ve ever dealt with. But God has been our strength. So thankful every day for the years I had with my wonderful husband…almost 51.!❤️

  217. I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain your family is now going through. His last day sounded like it was absolutely beautiful and what a memorable day to be blessed with before the loss. May he rest in peace and May you and your beautiful children find peace 🕊️ & joy one day again. Prayers to you and your children 🫶🏼🙌🏼

  218. Lori my heart hurts so for you and your children. I know that you are on the right track. God designed our hearts to be able to heal from life’s tests when we lean into Him. And the gratitude you gave our Lord in that horrible moment shows the unlimited trust you have in Him. This world is not our home….we know Q is home and ultimately you will join him there as well as your children…this is our hope and why we don’t grieve like the world does. Love you my sister in Christ. I’ll be praying for your family.

  219. I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my husband of 30 years on January the 8th of this year. Two days before his 63rd birthday. To say I am devastated is and understatement. I also lost my mom 29 days later on February 6th..two weeks before her 79th birthday. Life as I knew it is gone.. vanished. I don’t know who i am. I’m thankful for having him for 33 years and a lifetime with my mom BUT I am only human and the pain from these losses is beyond comprehension. I will pray for you and your family. Hoping we all can get thru these losses with dignity and grace. Praying for brighter days. Even so.. God is good! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Lori Roe

  220. Thank you for sharing this. I lost my husband of 38 years today. He was 59. As a follower of Christ we will see him again. We have 4 grown children and 10 grandchildren. Quite the legacy he left behind. God’s blessings to you and your family.

  221. I have a very similar story with my father. If it is any consolation his physician said that even if he had been standing right beside him, there would have been nothing he could have done to prevent his death. I had such guilt for the longest time. My condolences to you and your children. Time definitely makes it bearable but the hurt and loss never fully leaves. You just learn to live your life with it. It does get better though. Prayers will continue for all of you.

  222. Hi Lori,
    Thank you for sharing. I could feel those moments with you and tears filled my eyes. I will pray for you and your kids to find that new road of peace. I am sorry people have said such awful things to you. Continue to share all that you need to help you each day. Even the bad days can help others. Hang in there one day at a time. Thank you for all that you give us in your posts on social media.

  223. I’m so so sorry. I will continue to pray for you and your children. I also lost my husband suddenly 2 1/2 years ago. I beat myself up terribly thinking maybe if I did this or that! I came upon a verse that squashed those thoughts most of the time. I still have them from time to time but I just remember that verse and it gives me peace. Job 14:5 – Since his days are determined, the number of his months is with You and his limits You have set so that he cannot pass. It made me realize that no matter what I did or didn’t do, God had determined the day of his death long before he was even born and since God is just and has a perfect, right plan, I can rest in that. This gives me peace!

  224. Praying for your family. I am so sorry you feel the need to share your story with everyone. Thank you for caring enough about others to so freely share your hurt and raw emotions. Please never allow the “peanut gallery” to make you feel less than. You and your family have experienced a very tragic and trauma filled experience in loosing a dear loved one. Praying God heals you and guides you as you learn a new normal this side of heaven. So thankful for his promise that those who know him are promised to be see their loved ones again and what a glowing example of a Christian woman and family you are. Praying for that peace to surround you all.

  225. I am so sorry. I walk in your pain with you. The love of my life, 38 1/2 years married, 41 years together. But we met at the age of 6. I knew something then was special about the blonde, freckled face and blue eyed kid. John did have a heart attack on December 29, 2023. He was setting up out RV for another of our beloved camping trips. I did not get to say good-bye. I hadn’t arrived yet. 5 minutes too late. John was an amazing g husband, best friend, Dad and Pawpaw. I lost my everything h that day. He was only 59. No signs that day at all. It has been barely 5 months. It is so lonely. I know he rests with Jesus. But I still cry out daily to have him with me and our little family. We will welcome a new granddaughter on Friday. I know her little spirit has been in heaven enjoying her Pawpaw. God is still good. I can’t wait for my heavenly homecoming. Prayers and Hugs for you and your family. Sincerely, Linda Kiser

  226. Lori, I can’t imagine even one thing you could have said any better. in this account of that awful day. Thank you for trusting us with your story. You’re doing a good job finding your way in all this…and it’s so hard. I have two husbands in heaven with Jesus…and I can tell you that I’ve found Jesus to be utterly and completely faithful in these journeys. Love and prayers for you and your kids.

  227. My heart breaks for you and your kiddos. I promise you that I will pray and will take this reminder to be a kinder, softer, more present person as we don’t know when our time here will end. Thank you for sharing your Family with us. Big hugs

  228. I’m so sorry 😞 I lost my daddy to Covid in 2020. I’m praying for you and your family

  229. My dear, Lori – tears flowed as I read your heartfelt words. I know how hard that was for you to share that life changing experience.
    I have been in your shoes many years ago when I was 30 and 36 years later I still think about my Steve. Our loved ones are always with us and remain in our hearts forever even with life happening around us everyday.

    Praying for you and your beautiful family.

  230. Thank you for sharing such a tragedy of your families and your soul!! It’s super difficult to actually read because it’s nearly like ready what happened in my situation “Cardiac arrest “ laying next to me in bed upon waking up. As I jumped up screaming he lay there unresponsive eyes opened but could not move respond etc. yes hearing his air stop entering his body! Administered CPR and could see it wasn’t working! So so many emotions…. I don’t have to tell you everything that is and has come with this in the following days.
    Like sleeping in that bed, or going in the bedroom and reliving those moment replaying over and over! This gives you PTSD and grieving through it too. I didn’t have children and his daughter was in a different state but I will never forget making that call!
    So unexpected, but like you I find the gift of happiness I had with him the happiness to the very last breath he breathed the knowing how loved I was and how whole he was.
    In this I can actually say he was with me and knew I was with him! However with all of those good things we can be thankful for comes a horrible disbelief/numb/sad reality and time seems to take so much time slowly pushing forward.
    I went into survival mode making sure my stability was taken care of had to do many of things in the first 3 months that didn’t allow me time to deal with his loss. Now at 7 months I am fully immersed in my reality of such loss and can say if not for my two dogs that I love deeply and care for I don’t know that I would have gotten through the worst part they keep me going just enough to know I have to continue living while I’m here.

    I don’t think we will ever be the same person and I know getting over this will NEVER happen but I can say we will learn to live with the loss and learn how to cope.
    I am so very very sorry to you and your family!!

  231. I cried, as I read the story, I like others was curious and wondering what happened at faithful night , but certainly understand your hesitation.. My heart aches for all the negative comments and things people have said to you that’s more hurtful than anything. I love your blog. I love your page. I love your morning greetings, even if you don’t comb your hair.🥰 you are beautiful inside and out no matter what you do. I look forward to the day when we can see your bright shining, smiling face again on your site and your stories of your wonderful husband and children as you continue to grieve and move forward. All my love and hugs to you and your kids. ❤️

  232. What a great loss this side of heaven. I’m so sorry you and your children had to go through that hard day. One day, when it’s time, you’ll see your beloved Q. again.

    My nick-name is also Q. With health issues from long- Covid, I often ask people to pray for me when they see a Q. I will pray for you and your children to be comforted with God’s peace each time I see a Q. May your beloved Q rest in peace with Jesus, the One who is drawing near to comfort you.

  233. My heart breaks for you and your family, but your love of god and faith is with you, thank you for sharing this with us who love you !
    Keeping you in my prayers 🙏❤️

  234. Lori, my prayers of comfort and strength are with you and your kids today and in the days to come. May God hold you gently in His mighty arms and give you peace.

  235. My heart has been aching for you and your family since I heard of Q’s passing. I can’t even begin to comprehend the dark heart of the people who have added to your grief by their vile comments. Even before all of this happened I used to think I would have liked to meet your Q. I’m sure he wasn’t perfect, only because none of us are, but I used to think he was pretty darn close to it. I loved your relationship together and thought anyone could be envious of it. Reading your account of your last days together took my breath away and brought tears but I so much appreciated how beautifully you told us what you were able to share.

  236. Lori, this was a heartbreaking, beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Keeping you close in my prayers.

  237. Your story is heart breaking and I pray for you and your family during this difficult time to figure life out without your husband and father to your kids. The best thing you have is your faith and family. Hold on to them both.

  238. Thank you for sharing. I know that’s it’s hard to relive that horrific night. My neighbor had the same heart condition. One Saturday she got up to go to an HOA meeting, but in her normal style was not going empty handed so she made some brownies, put the in the oven and went into the bathroom to get dressed and dropped dead. I shock of that was horrific. I am the one that found her and called the police. It’s been four years now and I miss her terribly.
    Please know that you are so loved and respected for your efforts to just show up. I know that must be hard. Praying for your family.

  239. Lori, my husband died the exact same way when he was 50- in 2014- he went into v-fib for no known reason. The doctors said maybe cardiomyopathy caused by a virus to his heart – but no one can remember him having a virus in 2014 that would have affected his heart. I truly empathize. And I haven’t asked your details- only have been praying for you and your kiddos. I do want to say that there is hope and light and a good future- God never abandons us. My life has been incredibly blessed these last 10 years and I know God is walking this path with you. And we don’t grieve as hopeless, because Jesus promised we would all be with Him in heaven in His Father’s house someday. But this part of your journey is hard and the pain is intense. You keep on doing your thing and let your beautiful light shine.

  240. Lori and family:
    My heart aches for all that you are going through. My love has been gone almost 10 years.
    I pray you can ignore the hurtful things said. You and Q had a beautiful love. Cling to that and the comfort God gives us.
    Know that you are surrounded by many prayers. Much love and hugs.

  241. Thank you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you and your children. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  242. My sincerest condolences. I can’t imagine the pain you’re all in. Sending love and light to your babies and you!

  243. I’m literally in tears reading this 😭 My oldest daughter’s dad was healthy when he got covid in September 2021. He was taken by ambulance and the hospital. 2 days later his mom called me at 1AM and said they were going to put him on a vent. The next morning when I went outside to take the boys to school my daughter was sitting in her car sobbing.She had been out there waiting for several hours for me to wake up. I said Haley you need to go see your dad. She said mama he’s gone 💔 Before they were able to put him on a vent he went into cardiac arrest and they couldn’t resuscitate him. He passed away at 41 years old.

    Sending you my deepest condolences during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you 🙏🏼

  244. My sincerest condolences go out to you and your children! You all will continue to be in my prayers. What a blessing he was!

  245. I am so sorry thank you for sharing what a beautiful love story I lost my husband may 8 we had been married 58 together 60 you are do right about the silence it is terrible so thankful you have God to take care of uou and your children as he is me love and prayers to you and your children

  246. Oh Lori,
    So many continued hugs for you & your children. How blessed you borh were to have each other for so long.
    Just take comfort knowing he is with the Lord. This is not a permenent, its only temperary & one day you & your kids will all be reunited with Q. As my 10 yr old son says Earth is temporary home, heaven is our forever home.
    Thank you for sharing your Q with us❤️

  247. God has been and is still going to continue using you to spread his word. The Bible says that our spirit bares witness and yours definitely grabbed me from the first Facebook reel I saw you in. You and your family will be in my prayers. I pray that God will comfort and strengthen you all in a way that only he can. Your are an inspiration to many. I’ve always heard God reaches down for the prettiest blooms and sounds like Q was definitely a special one.

  248. So so very sorry for you and your kids Lori. You are a very courageous and beautiful woman of God. Keep sharing if that’s what you feel to do. It could be God helping you heal, or God helping someone else through you, or both. We may not know each other, but we share the same spirit, making us sisters in Christ. Being sisters, know my heart breaks for you and my prayers are fervent for you and your children. ❤️

  249. God Bless you and your family. Thankful you got a Godwink. God is good, and he has you and your sweet family.

  250. First, thank you for sharing how your husband passed. I’m deeply sorry for this great loss in your lives. You both created a beautiful family together. What a blessing to have your children! Second, take care of yourself. Remember to eat and drink, it’s times like these that we neglect (not on purpose) our health. Your children need you. And so do your friends. Your being covered with prayers. ❤️

  251. My heart goes out to you and your children. Grief is a season we will all experience. There is no timetable for that season, no matter what others may say. The emotions you are going through may help someone who is going through the same thing. Please do not stop showing us the real you. Prayers and hugs to you and your children.

  252. Lori,
    My heart breaks for you and your family, mainly for the loss of your adoring husband and your kids’ amazing father, but also for the hurtful, heartless people who are being so rude and nasty to you. I lost my mom 20 years ago and that grief of a loved one doesn’t go away…you can’t and don’t “just get over it and move on”. With grief, it’s complicated and you just grieve differently each moment, and each day and so on! Some moments and some days are better than others! I agree with you when you said grief is like wanting to just go Home but Home isn’t there anymore! You feel lost and like everyone else is going about their day, living their lives and you don’t even know where to go or what to do! Heck, there are days when you probably don’t even want to get out of bed, let alone leave the house but you do because you know you have to! You are taking the steps to “move forward” but only physically because mentally and spiritually ( your heart and soul) is lost! It’s normal what you are feeling and NO ONE has the right to tell you when and how you should grief! I just want to reach out and give you a huge hug!🤗 know that you and your beautiful kids are in my thoughts and prayers as you all navigate this new life without your beloved husband and their amazing father! You are blessed to have your kids and they are blessed to have you and you all will get through this together! 💗 Q is watching over you all!

  253. Sending prayers for you and your family. I know that trauma and grief can hit you like a ton of bricks when you least expect it BUT God’s word will sustain you and your precious kiddos. Thank you for being vulnerable because ultimately even those on social media are God’s children who also deserve love, grace and compassion from ALL of their followers. Praying favor over your business and social media accounts. ❤️🙏🏻

  254. Prayers for you and your children love. Prayers for peace that surpasses all understandings in Jesus name! This sounds so scary to go through I know Jesus will pull you and your babies through this.

  255. Lori …I’ve read this post with tears in my eyes . I lost my husband also, at age 59. He had cancer so I had some time to try and mentally prepare myself if something happened to him . In reality nothing prepares you for that outcome . I cannot imagine how you feel with it happening so sudden . My heart truly aches with sympathy for you and your children . It gets easier with time , but I don’t think we ever truly heal . Your love and faith will carry you and will continue to help you guide those babies through life . Something that helps me is try to always Focus on the good times and memories . You were the lucky ones to have those and no one can take them from you . Stay strong and keep trying to smile that beautiful smile ….and always keep looking up ….it’s easier to see Heaven that way 🙏❤️ love and prayers from me in Kentucky

    1. Your reality reminds me so much of my own with my dad. 12/25/2015. Yes, Christmas. It was 7am. We were all getting ready for church. My dad sat up and was a double amputee so needed to put his legs on first thing. He sat up and the first and last thing he ever said to my mom was “he felt faint and had to pee”. Then he went out. I can still hear the loud stomps and my mom worried voice calling for help. At the time I had been out of nursing school for 6months. My dad was the first person I ever did CPR on. As you, as well as I still remember. can feel the ribs break under my hands.
      I’d like to tell you that I don’t think about that moment much anymore. I’ve just now excepted that it will come and go. I had a co-worker give a great example one day of grief. It is a ball in a box bouncing around. The ball starts out large and hits the edges having those feelings of grief when the ball hits the edges. After time your ball gets smaller but it never goes away and will out of the blue it the side of the box randomly show up. Let it. Grief is your own and knows no time. Somethings that helped, is finding signs he’s still with me. And reading “Imagine Heaven”. It describes Heaven from many different peoples paths and walks of life in such a way the helps realized what a glorious place they went too. Many thoughts and prayers to you and your family as you navigate new routines and new memories that has a missing piece. Remeber your never alone.

  256. You are an amazing woman and so blessed to have your sweet husband for a short while. You have amazing kids. So many good memories.
    I know the silence is deafening.
    I’m praying for peace for you and your family.

  257. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly at passport control in Ashgabat airport where he was posted as the Deputy Head of Mission with British Embassy, we have been there only 5,5 months and were coming back from a Central Asia deputy Head of Missions conference, there was nothing to Indicate he would just collapse and die, he had cardiac arrest 9 years ago and survived because it happened in U.K. he had to have by pass surgery following that but never in a million years I thought he would collapse and die in few minutes, there was no emergency services, defibrillators at what supposed to be an international airport, I was at another desk so ran to him and tried CPR without checking his pulse( because I was in a shock) what I remember vividly ( everything else was a blur) was that when I ran to him his eyes were half open with eyes rolled back😢) he lifted his head, his face was all red, his eyes were bulging and he made these awful sounds, I was so shocked I stopped the CPR because I thought I was hurting him ( he still had his backpack attached to his back so I didn’t even think to remove it though it would have taken at least 5 minutes to do that and no one ran for help anyway!) his head went back down and he died, I literally seen the life leaving the body of the man I loved so much and shared 42 years, my soulmate, my everything. The rest is a blur and since then like you I wanted answers ( as he was on business trip, government regulations he could only fly economy but we decided that I would fly business so we had extra baggage allowance and easy check in a decision I regret as I couldn’t be next to him for the last 4 hours of his life😢💔) I am not religious but I questioned everything and couldn’t understand why it had to be him,why it happened to me and our sons ( grown up ) have been left behind to endure the loss of our person. I can’t see how I can live without him, the pain is indescribable and debilitating, since my husband died I had so many accidents, walked into lamp post and nearly hospitalised, fell in Canada ( my sister came and stayed with me here in U.K. then took me to stay with her and her family so there are less triggers) cut the palms of my hands open and yesterday trying to pierce the top of a glue with a knife and stabbing my hand badly in the process😢 I am a complete mess and having trauma counselling so I echo everything you are going through, death of a loved one is the most painful thing we would ever experience, there are no cures, it’s not fixable, time doesn’t heal, the life and who you were before when your life was perfect with your loved one still existed has forever changed, there is no joy in anything and no sparkle in the eyes, at least for me, I feel I died with him on that morning but still breathing, that’s all. There is no life for me after Martin, my forever, my one and only.
    I wish you strength, and will to carry on, we are all very brave to face and complete another day without our husbands.

    Much love,
    Dilek

  258. Praying for you and your family. We just never no, I lost my first child when I was 26 weeks pregnant. Only knowing the umbilical cord was very long an wrapped around her twice Im always asking why. My husband who is 66 very healthy exercise daily eats good was laying in bed an his pulse shot up to 186 beats per minute, it showed on his apple watch took him to ER diagnosed with SuperVentricular Tachcardia. They had to use a med that stops the heart for a split second to reset the beats He had another episode an they did an ablation an burned the artery that was allowing the beat to increasing an it worked. Then 2 years later had to have another ablation to slow it down an ended up in the ablation having to burn the artery from allowing racing beats 5 times to get it to hold an not race thru. He had his 5th covid vaccine an this happened 3 months after? He is one year out from last ablation and doing good. But ŵe are both Christians an pray often to keep him healthy and our mind on the Lord. It is a scary daily load. Again keeping you in our prayers.

  259. You are one very inspirational woman with so much FAITH! I admire you for your dedication, faithfulness, and strength during this very difficult time in your life. I pray that you continue your devotion to our Lord with the guidance of his mercy and love! Prayers for peace for you and your beautiful children!

  260. My condolences to his family and all who grieving his loss.
    Also to others who wrote here of their own losses.

  261. Oh Lori – so heartbreaking!!! What a blessing you all had in Q. Praying for God to cover you and your 4 kiddos with comfort and peace, knowing Q is with our Savior, walking the streets of gold! No doubt Q heard those precious words that awful night of April 9th – “well done my good and faithful servant”. God bless you and your kiddos; continuing prayers for you all.

  262. Lori, my heart aches right along with yours and your kiddos. I continue to pray for your. I am so sorry there have been mean comments made to you, so undeserved. So thankful you have such good memories and you know where your strength comes from.

  263. I’m walking the same path. I’m so very sorry. My husband died while doing yard work from cardiac arrest on May 11th. My son & I found him and did CPR until medics arrived. Your blog on Q was helpful to me. Grief is a strange and lonely thing. Prayers for you & your kids. ❤️

  264. So sorry for your loss. I know it is hard time for you know. I am praying for you and your family. Praying for comfort, compassion, strength and understanding to get through all the hard emotions. Thank you for sharing. Grief is an complicated emotion. It can be overwhelming. I lost my dad 7 years ago. There are some times I am fine and sometimes I am not.

  265. I am so very sorry for your loss, I pray for you and your family that you will find comfort and healing. I felt the emotion that you all went through when I was reading this which I believe had to be most difficult for you to write. I don’t understand how some people can be so hurtful, you definitely don’t deserve that from anyone, all we can do is pray for them that they can find Jesus. I truly love that you have so much faith I believe you and your children will be with him again one day. Jesus is our strength and through him we can do anything, I will continue praying for you and your children. Thank you for sharing your story. You’re sister in Christ Jesus Sharon

  266. I am so sorry for your loss. Everytime I read about it or see you talk about it I cry for you. It also reminds me to hug my husband a little bit tighter. He is my families world and rock like Q was for you. My best friend and truly gods gift to me. I’m so sorry your time was cut short. Don’t listen to haters you grieve however you feel best. And people will always be here to support you and lend an ear.

  267. Lori my heart hurts for you but know It’s not goodbye. It’s just later. My mom passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack in March 2021. It was so unexpected and so sad and we were at a loss for words. Goes by that we don’t think of her I pray that you will have comfort and knowing that he’s watching over you. Red cardinal stood on my daughters car her and my daughter were very very close and knew that it was her saying hello ♥️ Watch for signs because they will be there. Much love -~Mechelle -Waco TX

  268. Lori -My heart just breaks for you and your beautiful family. I was always so amazed at the energy and love you and Quentin both had for each other and your children. It was always apparent as I have watched many of your posts over the past several months. I do feel in some way like you are a family friend now and so I wondered. I guess that even though before this I did know the details of what had happened to your dear husband Quentin that day,I have held you and your family close in thought and prayer over these past weeks.
    I want you to know how much respect and admiration for the steps you now take. You are moving ahead in ways that most of us could not. God is there with you in the midst of this and di continue to draw on his strength for he will carry you. One moment at a time as you said.
    Your story does continue and I just know Quentin is there with you as you go too. As a person of strong faith,I have always felt there isn’t much distance that truly separates us from those who are now home with the Lord. There will continue to be those times that you just know.
    We will probably never meet in person but I thank you so much for sharing so much with all of us. I so am glad that you are still on media. I just wish I could say or do more for you. Maybe just knowing there are so many of us supporting you as you continue forward will help in some small way?
    With my deepest sympathy,
    Tracey Evans
    Bel Air, MD

  269. Just a horrific time for you and your family. Hold tight to your faith ,God promises never to leave us and when we can’t God can. Thank you for sharing and again please know those of us who follow you respect your decision to share or not to share . People who write such nasty comments should be so ashamed.

  270. My 26 year old daughter passed away 6 years ago from an undiagnosed enlarged heart/ ventricular a fib and her dad and I had to make the decision to remove everything. She was an organ donor but the pain of losing your child will always be there. My heart goes out to you and your family in this very difficult time.

  271. Oh how my heart goes out to you💔 My daughter and unborn grandchild passed away unexpectedly in Oct. Like you there are SO MANY unknowns, and unanswered questions. I am still not able to face my new reality, and can’t believe it’s real😢 Standing firm in Gods promises, and holding on with all I’ve got to his promises that he will never leave or forsake us. Walking by faith alongside you♥️ Lord Jesus, please give us the strength to walk through this valley, and never forget the hope we have in Heaven, and that one day we will have no more death, no more sorrow, no more tears. Amen🙏🏼

  272. I am so so sorry! Unfortunately me and my close friends (we are framily as we say) dealt with something very similar except it was their son’s 17 yr old girlfriend at a birthday party. Same situation, her heart just stopped. CPR was performed but they said only if there was a defibrillator there and used immediately could she have been saved. Needless to say, rumors swirled around the community that she was drunk, drugs were taken at the birthday party, etc. It was a family birthday party for another kid! There were no drugs. Yes, some adults were drinking but no children. Her autopsy came back completely clear of any drugs or alcohol. They let us know they tests were run twice because they were sure it would come back drug related due to her age. There’s events from that day that live in my head that will never go away. Just like for you! I will pray for peace and comfort for you and your children. I pray the cruelty can stop by people so determined to be cruel sitting behind a screen with a keyboard. I don’t know what happened to our world that people seem more cruel than ever. Just know, there are some of us that heartbroken for you!

  273. I am sorry to hear of how he passed, even harder when it’s sudden. I think people wonder because he was so young and if it could happen to him, it could happen to their husband. I know it was very painful to write, but it was very beautiful and the reminder to date is probably most needed…at least by me! Praying for you and your beautiful children.

  274. Lori, I cannot imagine what you and your children are going through. I lost my husband also but to divorce, he had other life plans. The Lord is the only thing that got our three children (8,9 and 11) and myself through, He ☝️is so good. This transpired in 2001 and since then The Lord has been my rock and the very best husband a gal could ever ask for. The Lord so took care of us through those trying times. Our divorce didn’t end for 10+ years but He ☝️is Amazing! Everything happens for a reason as you kñow. Covid has upset so many lives. The Blessing is that Jesus could have taken Quintin in 2020 but did not. He ☝️ allowed the two of you to start a thriving business. The Lord was preparing you for what was to come. Sad to say, no matter how much you relive that night (thank you for sharing by the way), it was Quinitin’s day. The Lord has created all of us. He knows the day we are born, all our days and the day He takes us to Heaven to be with Him. You were all so Blessed to have had Q those 4 extra years. Nothing you could have done that night could have changed things, it was Quintin’s day to be with Jesus face-to-face.
    Please do NOT allow those nasty people to influence or ruin your day! They are nothing but jealous of you, my friend. I am now in my 60’s but back in the day I had a high profile position in our small community. Many people have a tendancy to resent you and they want nothing but for you to quit. Don’t allow them to ever make you bitter. The Lord has you in the place He wants you. You are so encouraging to so many people and are a great testimony for Jesus, even though it can be quite painful. You stick with it gf, He’s ☝️got your back! Blessings to you always.

  275. I’m so so sorry for your loss and your family’s loss. Q was really an amazing man that you were blessed to share these few years with. I so wish it could’ve been more for you and your kids. You are right, you will see him again one day. Thank our Lord for that blessed hope. And thank you so much for your vulnerability with us in sharing your story. I don’t know you personally but I love you and your family. You’re in my prayers.

  276. I am so very sorry for your loss. My father died of a heart attack 10 days b4 Christmas. He was 48. My mother and brother performed CPR, while my sister and I (ages 8 and 10) looked on. He was pronounced dead in our living room at 4am on 12/14/75. My mother was the epitome of strength. She had children to raise. She had to go back to work. She had to learn to drive! She made us all go back to our usual routines asap. I admire her strength. Whenever I’m feeling sorry for myself, I think of her and what she had to do to raise us. I’m sure all she wanted to do was stay in bed and pull the covers over her head. You are showing your children how strong your faith is, but mostly, how strong you are. They will remember how you got up each day to take care of them, and navigated the worse possible time in your life. I pray you find strength. Sending love to you and your family.

  277. My heart hurts for you and your children, I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer, I love your attitude, trying to stay positive in your pain.

  278. God bless you all. I am rooting for you guys and praying for you. Life on Earth is so fragile, that’s why there is a heaven.

  279. Dear Lori, Sister in Christ, thank you for sharing this horrible heartfelt day with us. I wanted you to know that it’s such a testament to you and Quinn on how your children were able to see God in the situation and you as well. I’m continuing to pray for you and your sweet kiddos.

  280. Lori,
    My heart breaks fir you and your kids. I’m so thankful that you know the Lord and believe in His promises. That’s all we have to help us down here. You are so beautiful. I will pray for you and your kids. My daughters name is Lori also. She is going through a big storm right now.

  281. My heart breaks for you and your family as you go through this. I pray that God gives you all strength and peace. I lost my husband of 42 years , 8 years ago. Life is hard, but God is good.

  282. I teared up reading this- my healthy husband was 37 when he had a cardiac arrest/ventricular and a Dr told me only had he been on an operating table, basically, could he have been saved. I am so sorry you are facing this, as I know how hard it is. By sharing your story, allowing others to pray for you and see your grief and struggles as ok and normal, we can all learn how to get through hard things. You are wise to celebrate his favorites and his life! It will get better I promise.

  283. My teenage daughter and I developed heart rate issues after covid and I just found out I have an enlarged heart. Tests prior to covid were great, but since Covid gave me a super fast hr I wanted more testing and yep, covid damaged my heart. I wish more people knew that once we are recovered from the initial cold like symptoms of covid, our risks of strokes, heart attacks, and blood clots is high cuz covid is a vascular disease. We still mask and try to prevent reinfections cuz the damage gets worse with each infection.

  284. I’m so sorry! I know the pain of losing your spouse. There’s a song I love to listen to “Beat you There” by Will Dempsey. It comforts me.
    Oh, my husband loved”It Is Well With My Soul.” Some say things like throwing the hat on the cross is odd, no it’s not, it’s God! Love you!

  285. I’m so very sorry. I lost my Dad to covid in 2020. It was sudden and awful bc they wouldn’t let us be with him. My friend Kristy lost her husband to brain cancer in 2017. She does grieving type retreats for women. It is at a place call The Hill in St. Francisville, LA. The Lord always shows up there. Just thought I would mention it. Many prayers for comfort for your broken hearts and strength to navigate the coming days. In Jesus name. I’m so very sorry for your loss.

  286. I lost my husband to sudden cardiac arrest in September. He was only 57. Bless you for sharing your story. I believe we need to, it helps others on their grief journey as well. Peace and comfort from Tulsa. And lots of prayers for your family.

  287. I so understand your pain. I lost my husband at the age of 43 he had cancer. He was always healthy worked out, didn’t smoke or drink. We had went together since 8th grade got married very young at 18 years old. We had 3 children. He will be gone 24 years this September. I still hurt for my children and grandchildren he has missed so much! Just know I’m praying for you and your precious family. It will get easier in time but it never really goes away. There are different seasons that bring different memories and it still makes my heart ache even after all these years. I’m so sorry that people make such hurtful comments evidently they have not been through such pain! May God bless you and your children 🙏

  288. It must have been so difficult for you to put into words what happened to your beloved husband and relive it all over again! I’m so sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my prayers! You have a strong faith, I can tell in how your express yourself! Lean into God, he will walk beside you in your grief and pain! I wish you all the best! I don’t know exactly what you are going thru, but I’ve had some sudden losses and have lost amazing friends to cancer! My heart aches for you! Take care and give yourself grace!

  289. Lori, my heart breaks for you and your children. I am so grateful that your Quintin was a Christian and that you have that blessed assurance of being with him again. Lean on the Lord and remind yourself of His promises to never leave you or forsake you. Much love from one of your many fans.

  290. So very sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your kids. You should follow healthy happy home on Instagram she lost her husband suddenly and shares about it .

  291. I am so sorry for the the loss of your incredible husband . Praying for strength and healing for you and your sweet kids.

  292. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I don’t even have the words to comfort you. But I know that our God does. This is a verse that I fall back on anytime that I lose a loved one. I hope it brings you some comfort.

    So you have sorrow now but I will see you again and you will rejoice and no one can rob you of that. Joy.
    John 16:22

  293. Thank you for this. Though you didn’t need to share this story of devastation – you did. Our hearts have felt for you- but knowing a bit more about what happened and how you felt gives us greater insight on how better to pray for you and your family. You are blessed to have had the love of Q and can carry that love with you. Thank you for sharing your sadness with us- You will never get over Q- but your faith will help you get thru the days. You are never alone. Big hugs and prayers sent to your children. 🙏🏻❤️🌟

  294. On the morning of Jan. 24th, I woke at 3:30, my husband of 45 years asked me the time, I told him and said”go back to sleep”. At 6:30 I took him a cup of coffee without waking him. When he didn’t answer his alarm at 6:40, I went to turn it off, and knew that he was gone from me. I have never known such despair, but I will continue to honor him everyday by talking about him and smiling. He wouldn’t have it any other way. I am so sorry for your loss and I know your pain.

  295. My heart breaks for you and your children. I am so sorry for the loss of your forever love. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. May God hold you all in his loving arms.

  296. I am so sorry for your loss and terribly upset at the horrible things people have done and said to you and about you and your sweet family! Please know that our prayers are with you and your children!

  297. Lori,

    You and your kids continue to be in my prayers. I losses my husband 22 years ago. He was 42 years old and I was only 35. God carried me through my grief journey. He is faithful in all seasons. GriefShare.org is a faith based organization that has many resources to help people with grief. They also have a daily email for 365 days that you can sign up for. I found it most helpful and perhaps you might too. I share this resource with friends who have a loss. Know you have a lot of people who are lifting you in prayer. Be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time. Blessings, Kathy

  298. Lori, my heart is broken for you and the kids as I read this! He was an awesome man from what we see here, and I know he will be taking care of you and the kids still from heaven. Stay strong ! Sending lots of healing prayers for you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💔

  299. Lori,

    You and your kids continue to be in my prayers. I losses my husband 22 years ago. He was 42 years old and I was only 35. God carried me through my grief journey. He is faithful in all seasons. GriefShare.org is a faith based organization that has many resources to help people with grief. They also have a daily email for 365 days that you can sign up for. I found it most helpful and perhaps you might too. I share this resource with friends who have a loss. Know you have a lot of people who are lifting you in prayer. Be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time. Blessings, Kathy

  300. Lori and Family
    It took a lot of courage to write this post and we appreciate you sharing such a private tragic event. You are absolutely amazing and your strength through all of this is nothing short of Herculean. I’m sure it’s difficult not knowing what really happened, was it the vaccine, was it the effects of COVID, you’ll never know. But one thing is for sure, he is in heaven watching over you and your kiddos beaming with pride at how amazing you all are. I believe there are clues, that they “know” they are going to be called home. The hat on the cross is definitely your sign that he’s ok. When my dad died, his dresser drawer that had important papers and “his stuff”in it that was usually a mess was completely organized and everything was in perfect order when my mom came home from the hospital after he died. I will keep praying for you and your kiddos and of course continue to support your business in any way I can. You CAN DO THIS Lori and YOU ARE DOING IT! God Bless!

  301. I pray that your taking the time to put your experience down has helped in some way. I pray that you know that so many can live years without living and so few can live years in such a short time.
    No words that I can say will ever make it easier, but your faith in God and belief that you two will reunite and Mr. Q will definitely be the first one you see at your passing, are wonderful things to hold onto.
    May the Lord hold you and your family. May He give you forever GodWinks when He knows you need them most. Lots of love. Nikki

  302. Continued prayers for you and your family. My heart just breaks for you. Thank you for sharing your journey. I have no doubt lives are being touched. I’m so sorry about the hurtful people and their posts. Your light will outshine their darkest thoughts. May they eventually see the light and their hearts be softened.

  303. Lori- I sobbed reading this. Our stories are so similar. I’m 43, my husband 51. 3 beautiful daughters (16, 13, 8). 17 years of marriage-he was my best friend. I lost him on 12/29/23, cardiac event. He had indigestion throughout the day, and back pain-back pain was normal, indigestion was not. He took our oldest daughter to a basketball game that night, they stopped at Culver’s for ice cream. He woke up at 12:34 am with indigestion again. I asked if we should be seen. He said, “it’s heart burn, not my heart.” He took tums. He went to go sleep on the couch in the basement and never woke up to his alarm. My 13 year old found him first. I attempted cpr for 17 minutes, just to be told he’d been gone for 2-4 hours. We did not get an autopsy but death certificate states myocardial infarction. But the embalmer said he was a picture of health, full of muscle, arteries were pliable and clear. I’ve settled on the idea that his too had to be electrical.

    I miss him every single day. His 52nd birthday is this week 6/5.

    I cannot believe this is our reality. I pray for you every single night as we both try to navigate this new reality.

    I am not sure where you are located, I am in SE Missouri. I wish somehow we could connect someday. I will continue to pray for you and your family.

  304. The Bible says our days are numbered. God was not surprised when Quentin arrived. There was nothing you could have done. I continue to pray for your wonderful family. The Bible also says God will not forsake you. Hold fast to all the promises.

  305. My heart hurts for you and your sweet babies. May you all continue to find peace and feel him watching over you. Many hugs for all of you.

  306. I lost my brother on May 1st. The grief is all but unbearable. I just do my best to push forward, and I wish and pray for nothing but the best for you and your family. I take this time to leave you with some words that I actually heard on Home Improvement that have helped me immensely. “Even though he is dead, as long as we remember him, he will never be truly gone.” I hope this helps you at least a little bit. I would try to offer more, but I can’t even help myself much right now.

  307. My heart aches for you and your family. I cannot image, nor do I want to, what you are going through. Find peace in God and let Him guide and comfort you. I’m very familiar with v-tach. Two years ago my husband Mark was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He started chemo in September and finished up the week before Thanksgiving. He’d had a couple of episodes with his heart when chemo first started, but they seemed to subside. We watched him carefully while he was battle for his life. The Saturday after his final chemo treatment, he was getting dressed when he couldn’t stop sweating and shaking. We took his no and heart rate (from his Apple Watch) and his hr was 196. I tried to convenience him to let me take him to the ER. He shrugged it off and after about 20 min he said his jaw was clinching and that ER was a good idea. We got him to the hospital and they immediately took him back and let me be in there with him (ER’s were fully open to “visitors” at that time). The drs didn’t think he was going to make it.his heart rate was 276 bpm. It was like that for several hours. Over the next few days, he went through mounds of tests and the drs decided to implant an ICD (internal defibrillator/pacemaker device). During the week he was in the hospital, our granddaughter was turning 2 and our daughter (her mama) gave birth to our grandson. Mark and the baby both came home Thanksgiving morning. A few weeks later they performed an ablation on his heart (fixes electrical issues with the heart). By the grace of God, thankfully he is still with us today and is cancer free. The ICD will remain in his chest for the next 8 or so years. May God provide you with frequent “godwinks” (Q-winks) in the weeks, months and years to come. You and your children will continue to be in my prayers. 🙏🏼♥️

  308. Thank you for sharing. I was torn whether to read it or not. I too am a long COVID person. My lungs were damaged. I had knee Surgery and became very ill. It’s took several doctors appts and testing only to fine out Covid also damaged my immune system and I now have Lupus. It’s mind boggling how a healthy person’s life can change so drastically after an illness.
    I pray for you and especially for your sweet children. May God embrace you all in comfort and Peace.

  309. So many prayers. I think about you often. My heart breaks for your family. Love watching you and him together. You are such an inspiration and always have been. Don’t let those haters get you done. Keep being you and let the light of Jesus keep shining through you. It radiates. 🙏🙏

  310. Dear Lori and family! Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking story! I knew this could and would be done on your own time! We can see in all your posts the wonderful man, husband and father that Q was. He will live on in your hearts forever with these memories. I am just sending big hugs, love and strength to you all! God bless!

  311. I am so sorry for your loss. Every bit of your story has me in heartache and tears. sharing your story couldn’t have been easy . You are a strong momma. As a wife and mother myself, I can’t imagine the pain you feel. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏼💔

  312. Lori,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel… I lost my husband of almost 36 years one week ago today. It is the worst feeling in the world. I could feel your pain reading your post.

    Like you, I try to focus on the good stuff. He wanted so badly to bring others to Christ. At his celebration of his life, SEVEN people dedicated their lives to God!! That’s a win for James.

    I feel as if I may never recover but I know I will. I’ll be praying for you and your kiddos.

  313. My heart and prayers go out to you and your children. An unexpected sudden death of losing someone you love so much is completely devastating. You can only take it day by day well actually minute by minute. It’s so hard because life literally stopped in that moment and the rest of the world just continues on. It’s been 12 years I lost my dad from electrocution remodeling his kitchen. Your heart tries to deny what your mind knows. The only thing I can promise you is it will eventually lift a little and you will find yourself smiling and enjoying a memory. The grief is always there but it is different somehow. You take all the time you need and do what you feel you need. Took me years and I’m 58! Again my heart and prayers are with you!

  314. Thank you for sharing with us. I lost my Dad in December and my brother unexpectedly in April. My brother was a picture of health. Thank you for the information on Covid. As hard as it was to share, I hope you find comfort knowing how much people care. One day at a time.

  315. I stumbled across one of your morning videos after your husband had passed. I’m so sorry for you and your children’s loss. I will be praying for you all for peace and comfort.

  316. Lori, Thank you so much for sharing your story of Quintin & you & your family’s tragedy: of losing your wonderful husband, best friend, & Father. I love seeing your family pictures as it brings to light just what a man Q was. Your family has LOVE written all over your faces in pictures and LOVE doesn’t just stop there as Q would not want that. He wants those smiles to carry on in some way shape or form. It is ok to be sad through this rough & sad time as that is part of life we really don’t care about. But slipping in a SMILE when you can: whether it be a memory you think about of everyday togetherness with Q, or Tuesday Date Day memory laughing at the table, or Family Time at the dinner table with the laughs, conversations & Q’isms going on, or being in the kitchen laughing at Q trying to figure out a recipe that you stand around with a smile waiting for the outcome or just a plain downright silly moment. That and Those SMILES is what Q remembers about his loving wife, best friend and kiddos so keep that memory going. Oh, what a Man he was, just by your recordings and thankful of your sharings. God does have this in control in some way that we have no knowing’s but can just continue the journey with him and “Q” & see where they lead you. LOVE: this is what this is about. Continue on with your great sites and SMILE when you truly can.

  317. Lori, my heart absolutely breaks for you and your kids. You will be in my prayers infinitely. I love everything about you and Quintin. You keep going, girl! You’re an inspiration to so many. I’m sending you so much love and may God bless your beautiful family.
    Tracey

  318. With great love comes great loss…..never let someone tell you to “just get over it.” No such thing…this is a life long struggle that will ebb and flow…God Bless you and your kiddos….

  319. We never know when the Lord will call us home. My heart breaks for you and your kiddos. Q seemed like an incredible husband and father. He accomplished much in his short time here on earth. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you navigate trying to find a “new normal”.

    As for those who tell you to “get over it”, they have obviously never gone through anything like this. You dont ever “get over it”. You just learn to survive it and pray it gets easier. Q will always be with you and in your hearts. The Lord has his guiding hand on you. Just lean on HIM <3.

    P.S. The link to the celebration of life is not working.

  320. I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no words to manage your wounds. May the Father of mercies comfort your affliction. Brava, sister in Christ, for telling as much of the story as you wanted to tell.

    I’m so sorry the cause was what it was. I pray that your courage to call it by its name will protect and save many more Christian families from knowing this heartache. I have heard many stories from other Christians with LC of being mocked and rejected by their church families for not having faith or believing the wrong politicians or laziness. Or living in fear for trying to avoid getting even worse from C reinfections. From what they have told me, your courage to tell the truth means the world.

    I am so very sorry for your loss. May the Lord make it fruitful for His kingdom (which doesn’t decrease the pain but means it has purpose).

  321. My heart aches for you and your kiddos. I too suffer from esophageal spasms-horrible. Please take care of you-there is no timeline for grief. For those who say otherwise they have never lost a piece of themselves. Stay in bed for a day if you need to-be well and keep looking up. God is good.

  322. Beautiful and vulnerable post. Praying for you and your children! May God continue to hold all of you in His righteous right hand and guard your hearts in Christ Jesus. Love and hugs to all.

    -Katie Beeh

  323. Lori, I’m so Very Sorry for your loss, did he have covid in April? or back in 2020? I myself had covid in 2020 and almost passed away I fought for 2 1/2 months I was home sick for a month then i was hospitalized for a month and then a nursing home for two weeks (my oxygen was 40) im just wondering the chance of the same thing happening to me, I know they dont know long term affects from covid… but it would be nice to know… Again so sorry for your loss Q rest in peace .

  324. My heart hurts for you and your babies. You having to relive ever moment of that night by writing this post. The picture of his hat on the cross brought me to tears. I am so sorry about bully’s on social media. I am so sorry what you and your babies had to experience that night. Q sounds like a wonderful, strong man who probably felt something different was going on this time but hoping it would just go away and wouldn’t want to “bother” you with worry. Or think, the doctors are just going to say the same thing, why bother going in this time. 😞I am just so sorry. I am sorry your husband went through what he did since Covid and especially his last moments. 😢 May God bless you all, Ms Lori. 🌸 We will make a CBM and Q recipe this weekend. You guys are adorable and admirable❤️

  325. Oh LORI!!!! What it took for you to write this and dispell all the horrid rumors!!! I will share with you my then almost 45 year old daughter got Covid and 3 months later began 10/15 minute’s seizures middle of the night and she was NOT epileptic! They damaged her left front lobal part of her brain, damaged her kidneys, and her heart! She has finally been free of those grand mall seizures but keeps horrible headaches with swelling in her neck and various places where lymph nodes are! She gets low blood pressure yet high pulse rates. Feels weak. They have deemed her to have Long Covid and will have to live with these awful symptoms and she has a few tiny focal seizures during the day and hasn’t caused her to lose consciousness during them. Covid 19 was designed to do exactly what it has done to so many. Kill millions and disable millions more with possible death to come, and Drs are stumped and we all have to accept this as their answers???? I’m so sorry for your loss! My daughter is about to turn 49 and each day the struggle for her is getting worse. Had a high school crush who other classmates posted his heart just stopped just as your Q’s did!!! Middle of the night his smart watch showed his heart just quit and he went unconscious as well. Strong athletic man who hiked mountains even out of the USA, had long distance bike rides with his wife across country from East to West then did small ones for just a few states. You never know WHEN and never will know WHY, other than God said: It’s time to come back HOME.
    Praying for you and your children and asking Him to provide you all with some semblance of Peace and the ability to continue together strength thru this new journey without your Q…by the way——I cried ugly crying tears reading this and re read it several times just to grasp this info——God Bless you all 🙏🕊️🤣

  326. Thank you for sharing your story of your Q. It has touched my heart and has also hit home. I lost my cousin this January after she had Covid. They said she had a massive heart attack. She and I were best friends all our lives, but I too have the promise I will see her again. 🙌🏻🙏🏻 I just started following CBM this year. I really have enjoyed listening to you talk of your faith and the love for your husband and children. Fun fact, I looked back over your videos when I first found CBM and I found one of Q and his tip on boiling eggs…genius!! I use this now every time. Love it 💙 Again thank you for your courage, thank your sharing your journey and sharing your faith. It is a blessing to many! Know you are helping someone that’s going through a valley and that you’re not alone in yours.

  327. My heart hurts for you and your children. This is why some chose not to love so deeply, but not how God intended. You are an amazing woman, mother and wife. I can’t help but believe, with your platform and ambitions, God has a very purpose for your testimony.
    Even though I do mot interact much to your blog or post, I enjoy them very much and admire you and Q so. Keep being the good despite the negative evil comments 🙏🙌💗

  328. My husband Donald passed away on March 24th of this year from a fatal accident at work, he was 44 and we have been friends since we were 13. I’m so very sorry for your loss, it has helped me watching you. You keep sharing your grief journey. People who say mean things have never truly experienced reaal loss. I will continue to pray for your family. God bless you.

  329. Thank you so much for sharing, as you have said yourself we are human and couldn’t help but wonder what happen. I love your blog and your witness it is so wonderful watching you. I pray for you and your children as you all learn to live without Q, I know that God with always be with you. Love, prayers and hugs, I really wished I could give each of you a hug. Again thank you for doing your best each day to gone on. God Bless Each of You!

  330. I am so glad I found this blog! Even though I am a 73 year old crazy busy gramma, I have been following you and recommending you to my daughter (who, as a wife and mother of 5, thinks she is secure, but does not demonstrably follow Jesus). Being curious, I tried to Google how Quintin died, and got all sorts of stupid lies. Finally, I found this! It makes a difference in my life, because I, too, have an cardiac arrhythmia and could have a stoke at any time. I need to get into writing the things I want my children/grandchildren to know–things with eternal consequences. I lost my husband 19 years ago and he accepted Christ on his deathbed, when he knew he was dying of diabetes related issues. But only one of my children follows Christ, and one of my Grands did, but has strayed. This post gives me incentive for more fervent prayer.

  331. My heart breaks for you! I could tell how happy y’all were from your videos. Cherish the memories you have. Sending prayers for you and your children!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜

  332. Lori
    Your story of your precious husband, is so filled with your families love! Our hearts are sad for your loss! Sending prayers!

  333. This had to be very hard to write and relive. Thank you for sharing! Prayers and thoughts to you and your sweet children. May Q rest in Peace 🙏❤️

  334. Lori, thank you for sharing Q’s difficult story. That man you have spent your life with will always love his family and will most certainly be watching over each of you, every day.

  335. I’ve been off social media a while so I’m just now seeing all this and reading your post!

    This all hits home! I’ve had heart issues since Covid in 2021 after I was on a ventilator. I had Covid 5/21/21 and didn’t have any heart issues until end of June where my heart rate would shoot up quickly for no reason even just laying in bed! I was on meds for a while until it all eventually stopped. But I worry all the time about it happening again! So scary! I also just lost my mom to sudden cardiac arrest 8 months ago. It truly was awful they are gone so fast!
    Praying for you and your family!

  336. My. Heart. Hurts. I lost my brother 7mos ago and the desperate feeling of “what-if” never goes away. He was 43, went to sleep and never woke up. He too had Covid and developed irregular heart arrhythmia. He too had back issues and I always thought your husband reminded me of my brother 🙏🏽 I pray for your family, the grief is different ever. Single. Day. Everyday is different. I know he’s in heaven, I’ve seen him in bright white in my dreams assuring me he is ok, and I want nothing more than to just hug him one more time. He was a journey man for ann electrician company here in Texas and onsite when this tragedy took place. Thank you for sharing Q’s story and I will continue to pray for the Conways 🙏🏽

  337. Lori
    I’m so sorry that you have to experience this.Just remember that God has a plan and it is always right. We are praying for you and your family.

  338. Think of every day lived, as one day closer to Q. I too am a counter. I felt the same pain at 22, had no idea how I’d do it, 35 years later, Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Christ, who strengthens me.

    In my thoughts & prayers.

    Thank you for sharing. I was hoping your friends afar could attend Quintin’s service, possibly a live stream, I tried to attend by clicking your link to no avail.

  339. hugs and prayers to you and your kids.
    my youngest of 3 brothers after me, was killed by a drunk driver 9 years ago.
    he was my best friend. i never got to say good bye.
    you never get over it, you just learn to live with it.
    it is a heartache every day for me.
    my heart is with you and your family.
    patty

  340. Prayers for strength and peace for you and family! Never lose your faith in God because he is with you always.

  341. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing his story. Praying for your kids and you as well.🙏🏼

  342. Think of every day lived, as one day closer to Q. I too am a counter. I felt the same pain at 22, had no idea how I’d do it, 35 years later, Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Christ, who strengthens me.

    In my thoughts & prayers.

    Thank you for sharing. I was hoping your friends afar could attend Quintin’s service, possibly a live stream, I tried to attend by clicking your link to no avail.

  343. Oh Lori. Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I’m grateful you love Jesus and know this life isn’t the end. You will see your Q again. Just know that your sisters and brothers in Christ are praying for you. I pray that you feel the arms of Jesus holding you tightly like never before. You are loved.

  344. Dearest Lori,
    I’m so dang sorry for your loss but your faith! Wow—isn’t incredible to know HE has you all wrapped up in His arms and in His love?? Thank you for sharing, for being so vulnerable and honest. My husband has afib and I’m scared every day. He has a good cardiologist and is scheduled for a Maze procedure soon…or so we thought. He has a couple blockages that have to be addressed first so we’re waiting for a heart cath…all of it scary.
    I will pray for your beautiful family. What a magnificent father and husband you all were blessed with…
    I am so sorry that mean people make mean comments and are so hateful. I feel sorry for them. And I will pray they never have to go through what you have. Gods sees their hatefulness. You don’t need to respond or say a word. HE has you always. Thank you again for sharing and my continued prayers for all of you. XO

  345. I am praying for you and your family that God gives you the comfort that only he can provide ❤️

  346. Lori,

    As God walks with us on Earth, Heaven is full of our loved ones. We all patiently wait to be reunited! May God wrap his loving arms around you all! Prayers for you all!

  347. I have been praying for your family since I first heard the news. Your family has been such an amazing inspiration through out the years and has touched so any lives. Your going to get through this but it wont be quick. God is still writing your story even through this grief. Joy will come in the morning it just may not be every morning:) you hold fast to whatever God is Speaking to your family and WRITE it down. I love the Song God is on the story. Which means He is in every detail. Your amazing and the devil will not prevail in JESUS name. No weapon formed against you will prosper. Girl people all over the world are being your Aaron holding up your arms up while your fighting the grief, fear or anything thing else that’s holding you down. Your fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s got you all.

  348. My heart hurts so much for you and your kiddos. I am so so sorry for your loss it is not fair. I pray for you and the kids! Try to find comfort in the memories you have with him. Loosing someone so close to you is likd a grief marathon you never signed up for. You have to take it slow and steady or you will never get through it. You will always be devastated by that loss but just know it gets better through time. It’s always going to hurt so much but you will just learn to manage that hurt. Again I am so so sorry for your loss my heart goes out to all of you! God bless! Rest in Peace Quinton ♥️♥️

  349. I don’t know you but I am so broken for you and your children. I have only recently seen your posts and started following you. You are such an inspiration to so many. I pray for strength and love and hope for you and your family loving forward. Sending so much love. ❤️

  350. You are brave to have shared the details of what happened to Q that day.
    As I started following you on FB I appreciate how honest you are and remind me to hold on to God even when it feels impossible as well as to cherish and love those around me, thank you Lori ❤️
    God is with you and your children he holds every tear and I am praying for you and with you all ❤️

  351. My heart is broken for you! I have just finished having Covid and it has taken a lot out of me. I am a 66 year old female. I am also having mild heart problems and I am having a heart stress test in 2 weeks. I appreciate your sharing your story even though it does scare me some. I am trying to live each day to the fullest. I cannot believe that such a horrible illness was released on us all. It is just pure evil. I took vaccinations for 3 years and didn’t take one this past winter. Of course I haven’t a clue where I got the virus and I am sure Q didn’t either. We cannot hide under a rock. God needed Q for some special reason so he called him home. We will never know the “why”, at least not in this lifetime. God will take care of you and your children and give you strength to move forward in time. We are all just passing through on our way to our forever home. We are just not meant to understand it all. There is a higher force in motion. I will be praying for you and your family. Lean on God and not your own understanding! Much Love!

  352. CBM, I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband and father of your children. Thank you for sharing the story of his passing and a lot of your heart. I’m sorry that people think it’s okay to say so many hurtful things. I’m sure the good messages far outweigh the bad but I know the bad is loud at times. You know the truth & I know you and your family are making every effort to rest in God’s truth. You are loved and God is with you. Thinking about you.

  353. CBM, I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband & father of your children. Thank you for sharing the story of his passing & a lot of your heart. I’m sorry that people think it’s okay to say so many hurtful things. I’m sure the good messages far outweigh the bad but I know the bad is loud at times. You know the truth & I know you are making every effort to rest in God’s truth. You are loved & God is with you. Thinking about you.

  354. Oh Lori thank you for sharing your pain. How can you “get it together”. He was your together! My prayers lift up for you and your family at this time. The love of Christ radiates from you and your family and will see you through until you see Quinn again. Be blessed by that ans your journey continues home.

  355. My sweet sister’s sweet husband passed almost exactly like this, for different cardiac reasons. It was very heartbreaking but she has done well while broken. I have to believe, as you might too, that this is all in God’s hands and according to His will.

    Bless you and your sweet children! I pray that you find your feet and a new normal.

  356. My sincerest sympathies on the loss of your husband and father. I can’t imagine the heartbreak you are all experiencing. Having faced something similar, when the time is right, I hope you will seek help processing the trauma you all experienced, not only in the loss, but what you all endured that night. Performing CPR on a loved one leaves deep wounds. Praying for God to comfort and love you in ways only He can and that he surrounds you with helpers in this difficult time.

  357. Lori, my heart breaks for you and your babies! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this heartbreaking account of what happened to your sweet Q. I’m so sorry people are cynical and mean spirited. I’ll never understand that this side of Heaven. Praying for you and your kiddos for comfort and peace that passes all understanding! Sending hugs and love! 💕

  358. Lori, I wanted to thank you for sharing your story. My entire heart goes out to your family. I have been experiencing the same things Q did post-COVID-19 infection, and it has been terrifying. It doesn’t help when the world and some medical professionals don’t take it or the situation seriously. Thank you for being honest and brave and for being the advocate you are for Q and others going through the literal heartbreak of COVID-19. Inspired by you, I checked into the Mayo Clinic’s availability, prepared to be rejected like he was. However, I can get in this month, and I thank you and your angel Q for the positive outcome. xo Emily Green

  359. I just recently found you- after your sweet husband passed- this breaks my heart! But the Godwinks as you call them are definitely signs from your hubby! What a wonderful legacy he has left the world with your beautiful children and how blessed you were to know him for most of your life. You will be with him again, but he is always with you watching out for you! Sending you all lots of love and positive energy!

  360. Thank you for sharing, Lori. My prayers are with you and your beautiful children. Your faith is an inspiration and I’m so glad that you have the Lord to lean on during this time. I don’t really know what to say, but I know I wanted to say something. I know it’s cliche, but if you ever need anything, please feel free to reach out for help. Gods blessings to you all.

  361. Thank you for sharing, God bless you and all of your Children. I will be praying of all of you, as you go down this path, You are an amazing lady and God will show you the way.

  362. Lori, my heart breaks for you and your children.

    My husband also passed recently, on my 40th birthday, April 27th.

    I have been following your videos and posts on Facebook pretty steadily, because you are such an inspiration showing others how to walk through the pain.

    You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but you have helped me so much by showing your strength and vulnerability. Showing that you don’t always have to be “okay” for others, and that it is all right to be a mess sometimes.

    You show that you allow yourself to have those hard, messy emotions at times, then show yourself put together and still living your life.

    I will continue to pray for you and your 4 kiddos, and ask that if you can find time, please pray for me and my 2 kiddos.

    And please, if you have it in you, please keep posting on Facebook.

    Sending you, love, hugs, strength, and prayers.

  363. He sounds like an amazing man of God. I pray that his legacy continues for generations to come. Also sending prayers for peace and comfort for you and your children.

  364. Hi Lori,
    I have only been living in Missouri about 4 years and discovered your instagram page a couple of years ago and have followed it ever since. I love everything about you and the page and was so shocked and saddened to hear of the loss of your husband Quintin. I have been praying for God give you and your family strength and guidance during this difficult time.
    I know you did not want to re-live that day by letting your followers know, however I am a believer that talking about tragic events to friends, family and in this case your followers, is a vital part of the healing and grieving process. This can help you find a safe place to process your emotions so that you can think clearly and make the best decisions moving forward. In turn, also take comfort in knowing that Quintin is and will always be at your side to guide you and your kids, and will still be there in spirit for all of the meaningful moments.
    You are a strong woman, so don’t let the “Curmudgeons” get to you. They are not happy and just want to make others miserable too!
    I did not know that you had a webpage, I was checking it out and I love it! Looking forward to reading all of the tips, meal planning, cook books etc, and Cooking with Q!
    Just remember Lori, we are all here for you and support you 100%!!
    Sending Hugs…. :o)
    Annette

  365. Dear Sister, it will be 8 years tomorrow that my Ed crossed over to his forever home. I have learned that grief never goes away, it just becomes a little lighter to bear. I know what it is to say “Jesus I need you now” and the Holy Spirit he is with me and I have experienced my body physically relax and my tears soften.
    I don’t know where you live, but I want to encourage you to go to Hopegathering.org you will find a community of widow sisters in the Lord who can encourage you in your journey. Order yourself a Hope box, it is full of love for you. May the very presence of our Lord surround you as you face each day without you Q.

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