Holding Someone’s Hand Again
I never imagined one picture of someone holding my hand would feel so significant.
Not because of the photograph itself…
But because of everything it represents.
Two years ago, I never believed I’d hold anyone’s hand again.
When my husband, Quintin, died, I honestly thought that chapter of my life had ended forever.
Not just dating.
Not just marriage.
But believing my heart would ever be capable of opening again.
For a long time, I assumed the hardest part would be meeting someone.
It wasn’t.
The hardest part was believing I could ever let people see that chapter of my life.
There were so many fears.
The fear of disappointing people.
The fear of comments.
The fear of what others would think.
The fear of how my children would feel.
The fear of my mother-in-law.
The fear of people confusing healing with forgetting.
The fear of being accused of “moving on.”
The fear of wondering if I was honoring Quintin well.
The fear of opening my heart again.
The fear of…
“What if it doesn’t work?”
But somewhere along the way, God gently revealed something to me.
The fear was never really about letting everyone else know.
The fear was allowing myself to believe that maybe…
Just maybe…
God still had something beautiful ahead.
That realization changed everything.
Because loving again doesn’t erase a love story.
It honors it.
I learned how to love so deeply because of the life Quintin and I shared together.
Nothing will ever replace that. Nothing ever could.
In fact, one of the hardest steps in my healing journey was making the decision to take off my wedding ring.
It wasn’t about letting go of Quintin—it was about trusting that my identity, my hope, and my future were ultimately in Christ.
(If you haven’t read that part of my journey, you can read it here: Why I Finally Took Off My Wedding Ring After Losing My Husband.)
If anything, loving him so well taught me what faithful love looks like.
That gift didn’t end when his life on earth ended.
It became part of who I am.
Is It Okay to Be Happy Again After Losing Your Spouse?
A few weeks ago, I shared a blog called “The Guilt of Being Happy Again.”
At the time, many people probably thought I was simply writing about learning to smile again after loss.
In many ways, I was.
But if I’m honest…
I was also quietly writing about this.
Because long before I ever held someone’s hand again, I had to wrestle with whether I even believed I was allowed to.
Grief has a way of convincing us that joy somehow dishonors the people we’ve lost.
That if we laugh too hard…
Smile too often…
Dream again…
Or love again…
We’re somehow leaving them behind.
But there was another layer of guilt I didn’t recognize until much later.
It wasn’t just about me.
It was about my children.
Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that maybe staying alone for the rest of my life was somehow the greatest gift I could give them.
If I never opened my heart again…
They would never have to adjust.
Never have to wonder where they fit.
Never have to share their mom.
Never have to navigate another relationship.
Never have to risk being hurt again.
I somehow believed my loneliness protected them.
Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t trusting God.
I was trying to protect everyone by carrying a burden He never asked me to carry.
Because while I believed staying lonely somehow honored Quintin and protected my children…
I was also praying almost daily that God would bring strong, godly men into my children’s lives.
Men who would mentor my boys.
Men who would encourage them.
Men who would point them toward Christ.
I desperately wanted that for them.
I just never imagined God might ask me to trust Him enough to allow someone into our lives too.
That realization changed me.
I began to realize my children didn’t need a mother who stayed stuck because she was afraid of the future.
They needed to see a mother who trusted God enough to keep living.
A mother who chose joy again.
A mother who believed devastating loss didn’t get the final word.
The greatest way we honor the people we love isn’t by remaining frozen in the moment we lost them.
It’s by living the life they would have wanted for us.
Choosing joy doesn’t diminish our grief.
It magnifies the love they poured into us.
Because the people who loved us most would never want us to stop living.
They would want us to keep laughing.
Keep dreaming.
Keep serving.
Keep loving.
The love they gave us was never meant to end with them.
It was meant to continue through us.
Love isn’t a limited resource.
Our hearts were created with the capacity to grieve deeply…
And still love deeply.
Those two things can exist together.
Can God Restore Hope After Losing Your Husband?
Somewhere along the way, I stopped asking God,
“Why did this happen?”
And started asking,
“Lord… what are You still writing?”
That changed everything.
Today, this picture isn’t a declaration that I have all the answers.
It isn’t a promise that I know exactly how every chapter ends.
It’s simply a testimony that the God who carried me through the darkest valley of my life is still writing my story.
This picture isn’t just about a relationship.
It’s about hope.
It’s about discovering that healing doesn’t mean forgetting.
It means believing God is still faithful.
The hand I’m holding matters.
It represents courage.
It represents healing.
It represents trusting God with a chapter I never thought I’d have the opportunity to write.
And one day, when the time feels right, I’ll share more about that story too.
But today…
Today is about something even bigger.
Today is about the God who gently took my hand when I thought my story was over…
And reminded me that He wasn’t finished writing.
I don’t know exactly what tomorrow holds.
I don’t know where this road leads.
I don’t know what every future chapter looks like.
But for the first time in a very long time…
I’m not afraid to turn the page.
A few weeks ago I shared that healing sometimes means refusing to keep looking in the rearview mirror. In Don’t Turn Back, I talked about how God doesn’t ask us to forget our past—He asks us to trust Him with our future.
Because after everything I’ve walked through, I’ve learned this:
I may not know what tomorrow holds…
But I know Who holds my tomorrow.
And that is enough.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll share more of what brought me to this place—including a conversation with my mom before she passed and something Quintin left behind that gave me permission to keep living.
Those moments changed me forever.
And one day, when the time feels right, I’ll share more about the hand in this picture.
But today isn’t about introducing a person.
Today is about introducing hope.
Not replacing.
It’s believing God may still be writing another beautiful chapter.
If you’re reading this today wondering if your story ended the day your heart broke…
Can I gently remind you?
The Author of your story hasn’t finished writing yet.
And maybe…
Just maybe…
He’s writing another chapter for you too.
And you too will learn how to Dance Again
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I thought staying lonely honored the people I loved.
God showed me that living fully honors them even more.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lori at 16 years old, I married my high school sweetheart. We were blessed with two beautiful children and he was killed 11 years later after that God sent my second husband, my true soulmate. We were married 28 years and while at work, he fell with a heart attack fatally. I stayed in my room, begging God to take me for 3 1/2 years. Then one day God said I’m not through no matter how much you beg him. He has a plan and he will execute the plan perfectly. I begin to date again and I asked God to send the man he wanted me to have. The very next person that asked me out God said this is it! He did not fit my “type “and have I not ask God please don’t let me miss him by overlooking him. I would’ve probably messed it up royally! I have now been married to this man for five years in October and he is the sweetest precious man for this season in my life. I can tell you for a fact, you don’t love any two people the same because you will never be the same. I was one person with my first husband and children. Then I was an even better version of me the second time. And as I was so broken after his death, God finally revealed himself to me and along came number three! Smile a lot, love freely, and know that the best is still yet to come when we go home to be with all our loved ones. Some people are never blessed enough in this life to find a great love, and God has blessed me three times. Not for anything I have done, but because of his love for me, his child. I wish you all the best, and your children will benefit from their mother, loving again.
Sheila, thank you for sharing your incredible testimony. ❤️ What a beautiful reminder that God continues to write our stories, even after seasons we never would have chosen.
I love what you shared about praying for God’s best instead of your own “type.” That takes such trust and surrender, and it’s a wonderful encouragement to so many who are waiting and wondering what God has next.
Thank you for taking the time to encourage me and everyone else reading these comments. Your story is a beautiful testimony of God’s faithfulness, and I’m so grateful you shared it. ❤️
I have followed you for a very long time. I am so glad that you have found joy again. God is with you through this life and this is what he has chosen for you.
God bless ❤️🙏
Tonda, thank you so much for your encouragement and for walking alongside me for so many years. ❤️ Your words truly mean more than you know.
I don’t take this new chapter lightly, and I can honestly say it has only been possible because of God’s faithfulness every step of the way. I truly believe He is the Author of our stories, and I trust Him with every chapter—especially the ones I never would have chosen.
Thank you for celebrating this season with me and for continually pointing me back to Him. God bless you. ❤️🙏
Lori, I have been following you for a long time from the beginning of your crazy busy mama recipes “intentional moments “ to now!
I am so sorry for the loss of Q and your mommy.And I know we all have our cross to carry in this life…
I am so happy for this new chapter of your life. You are a beautiful person!
Don’t worry about All the negative things those who matter won’t care won’t judge will stand with you. And those that care to comment negatively DO NOT MATTER‼️‼️
And I know Q would want you to be happy. 🌅
Thank you Lori. I found you scrolling reels on Facebook. Now I will follow along here and on your Facebook page. It’s been 9 months since my dear Dan moved to heaven unexpectedly in the night. His heart stopped and when I found him the next morning, I knew he was with Jesus, even as I did CPR on him for 15 minutes until the paramedic arrived.These past several months have been hard but I’m beginning to see hope again. I started a new job, which I love and I am going to the beach for our 33rd Anniversary in August. First time going away to our favorite place. Your encouragement means more than you know. Keep surrendering! God is faithful!!
Blessings from Lakeland FL ❤️
Lori
I love the fact. that you seem to be moving ahead slowly.
I am stuck and moving forward does not seem to be possible. His toothbrush is still plugged in, his slippers are next to his chair. I am still aleeping in the living room where I cared for him for. the last 9 months of his life. The guilt is still there that at the most important moment, I was not there holding his hand when he took his last breath.
I put on a great show for family and friends, but the truth is I could care less about still being here.
Debbie, I cannot imagine your loss and what you are going through. I DO know that guilt does not come from our Lord though. Do not let the enemy dig its heals in with remembrance of one single moment. You said you are still sleeping in the room where you took care of your husband the last 9 months of his life. THOSE are the moments that mattered, not the single one you are holding onto. You husband was lucky to have you to care for him and be there those last 9 months. I will be praying you can find peace with knowing you are an AMAZING daughter of God and all will be made right in the end. Hang in there.
Lauren A
Lauren, thank you for taking the time to encourage Debbie with such compassion. ❤️ One of my favorite parts of this community is watching complete strangers lift one another up and point each other back to Christ. Thank you for being His hands and feet here. I’m sure your words were a blessing to Debbie.
Tears running down my face as your joy and hopeful anticipation leaps off the screen. Joy not from a new relationship, or holding another’s hand, but rather joy from God’s healing that has taken place to get to this point. I have prayed for you that you would experience joy and peace again. God is carrying you, and you have been His faithful servant. I am not a widow, but your story doesn’t just apply to widows. It is a living example of trusting God amidst any trial, and holding fast to the promise that he has a plan. A living example of Isiaiah 61.
“ 1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.”
What a testament to the Glory of God you and your family have been.
Lori, I am so happy for you. I believe that “Q” had a hand in meeting this someone special. You deserve all the happiness that life has to offer & you & “Q” raised 4 amazing children & they want to see you happy. I am looking forward to more blogs. Have a safe, happy 4 th of July. 💕🇺🇸🙏
So well said! I needed to hear all of this! Thank you for being obedient to God and sharing your journey with all of us! ❤️🙏🏽
Lori, I am so happy for you. I believe that “Q” had a hand in meeting this someone special. You deserve all the happiness that life has to offer & you & “Q” raised 4 amazing children & they want to see you happy. I am looking forward to more blogs. Have a safe, happy 4 th of July. 💕🇺🇸🙏
Lori, I can relate with you first hand. My husband passed two years ago and I thought I would never get the feeling again about another man. God had put person that I love in my life. It’s a long distance relationship but I’ve turned it over to God. He will place us where we need to be. After being married for 41 years it’s hard but God! He never fails us!
You can find love again but it’s a different kind of love. It’s a more mature and I know what it’s about kind of love. Our late husbands were our first loves. Our true first loves. Ones we grew up with. Now we know we’ve grown and know the difference of the two.
Margie, thank you for sharing this beautiful perspective. ❤️ I love what you said about love looking different. I don’t think another relationship replaces the first—it simply reflects a different season of life and the ways God continues to grow us.
Quintin will always hold a unique place in my heart, just as I’m sure your husband always will in yours. That love doesn’t disappear. If anything, it teaches us how deeply we’re capable of loving and being loved.
Thank you for encouraging Ella and for reminding others that opening your heart again isn’t about forgetting—it’s about trusting God with whatever chapters He still has to write. I’m so grateful you took the time to share your wisdom. God bless you, friend. ❤️
Lori,
I have been following you for a while now. I love listening to your morning coffee chats on FB. You always offer messages of inspiration and hope. You deserve happiness in your life! I personally am so happy that you have found someone to share your life with. It’s time to trust God and let your heart and spirit be lifted up with happiness. God Bless as you move forward in life, wherever it takes you, YOU DESERVE IT!
I am so happy that you have found a second chapter. Before I decided to embrace the mantra Choose Joy the scripture John 14:27 came to my mind in the first few days after my husband passed. peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth. I knew that only by embracing hope and peace in Christ was I ever going to be able to find joy.
my husband has been gone for almost 10 years now. my current husband and I just celebrated 8 years. we dated a full year and it’s been hard but it’s also been filled with beauty.
good luck in your journey. life is a journey filled with those we let travel with us.
Lori, if the Lord brought you together, then it’s ok! Just be cautious and take it slowly. If Q could talk with you, he wouldn’t you to stay alone forever.