Holding Someone’s Hand Again
I never imagined one picture of someone holding my hand would feel so significant.
Not because of the photograph itself…
But because of everything it represents.
Two years ago, I never believed I’d hold anyone’s hand again.
When my husband, Quintin, died, I honestly thought that chapter of my life had ended forever.
Not just dating.
Not just marriage.
But believing my heart would ever be capable of opening again.
For a long time, I assumed the hardest part would be meeting someone.
It wasn’t.
The hardest part was believing I could ever let people see that chapter of my life.
There were so many fears.
The fear of disappointing people.
The fear of comments.
The fear of what others would think.
The fear of how my children would feel.
The fear of my mother-in-law.
The fear of people confusing healing with forgetting.
The fear of being accused of “moving on.”
The fear of wondering if I was honoring Quintin well.
The fear of opening my heart again.
The fear of…
“What if it doesn’t work?”
But somewhere along the way, God gently revealed something to me.
The fear was never really about letting everyone else know.
The fear was allowing myself to believe that maybe…
Just maybe…
God still had something beautiful ahead.
That realization changed everything.
Because loving again doesn’t erase a love story.
It honors it.
I learned how to love so deeply because of the life Quintin and I shared together.
Nothing will ever replace that. Nothing ever could.
In fact, one of the hardest steps in my healing journey was making the decision to take off my wedding ring.
It wasn’t about letting go of Quintin—it was about trusting that my identity, my hope, and my future were ultimately in Christ.
(If you haven’t read that part of my journey, you can read it here: Why I Finally Took Off My Wedding Ring After Losing My Husband.)
If anything, loving him so well taught me what faithful love looks like.
That gift didn’t end when his life on earth ended.
It became part of who I am.
Is It Okay to Be Happy Again After Losing Your Spouse?
A few weeks ago, I shared a blog called “The Guilt of Being Happy Again.”
At the time, many people probably thought I was simply writing about learning to smile again after loss.
In many ways, I was.
But if I’m honest…
I was also quietly writing about this.
Because long before I ever held someone’s hand again, I had to wrestle with whether I even believed I was allowed to.
Grief has a way of convincing us that joy somehow dishonors the people we’ve lost.
That if we laugh too hard…
Smile too often…
Dream again…
Or love again…
We’re somehow leaving them behind.
But there was another layer of guilt I didn’t recognize until much later.
It wasn’t just about me.
It was about my children.
Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that maybe staying alone for the rest of my life was somehow the greatest gift I could give them.
If I never opened my heart again…
They would never have to adjust.
Never have to wonder where they fit.
Never have to share their mom.
Never have to navigate another relationship.
Never have to risk being hurt again.
I somehow believed my loneliness protected them.
Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t trusting God.
I was trying to protect everyone by carrying a burden He never asked me to carry.
Because while I believed staying lonely somehow honored Quintin and protected my children…
I was also praying almost daily that God would bring strong, godly men into my children’s lives.
Men who would mentor my boys.
Men who would encourage them.
Men who would point them toward Christ.
I desperately wanted that for them.
I just never imagined God might ask me to trust Him enough to allow someone into our lives too.
That realization changed me.
I began to realize my children didn’t need a mother who stayed stuck because she was afraid of the future.
They needed to see a mother who trusted God enough to keep living.
A mother who chose joy again.
A mother who believed devastating loss didn’t get the final word.
The greatest way we honor the people we love isn’t by remaining frozen in the moment we lost them.
It’s by living the life they would have wanted for us.
Choosing joy doesn’t diminish our grief.
It magnifies the love they poured into us.
Because the people who loved us most would never want us to stop living.
They would want us to keep laughing.
Keep dreaming.
Keep serving.
Keep loving.
The love they gave us was never meant to end with them.
It was meant to continue through us.
Love isn’t a limited resource.
Our hearts were created with the capacity to grieve deeply…
And still love deeply.
Those two things can exist together.
Can God Restore Hope After Losing Your Husband?
Somewhere along the way, I stopped asking God,
“Why did this happen?”
And started asking,
“Lord… what are You still writing?”
That changed everything.
Today, this picture isn’t a declaration that I have all the answers.
It isn’t a promise that I know exactly how every chapter ends.
It’s simply a testimony that the God who carried me through the darkest valley of my life is still writing my story.
This picture isn’t just about a relationship.
It’s about hope.
It’s about discovering that healing doesn’t mean forgetting.
It means believing God is still faithful.
The hand I’m holding matters.
It represents courage.
It represents healing.
It represents trusting God with a chapter I never thought I’d have the opportunity to write.
And one day, when the time feels right, I’ll share more about that story too.
But today…
Today is about something even bigger.
Today is about the God who gently took my hand when I thought my story was over…
And reminded me that He wasn’t finished writing.
I don’t know exactly what tomorrow holds.
I don’t know where this road leads.
I don’t know what every future chapter looks like.
But for the first time in a very long time…
I’m not afraid to turn the page.
A few weeks ago I shared that healing sometimes means refusing to keep looking in the rearview mirror. In Don’t Turn Back, I talked about how God doesn’t ask us to forget our past—He asks us to trust Him with our future.
Because after everything I’ve walked through, I’ve learned this:
I may not know what tomorrow holds…
But I know Who holds my tomorrow.
And that is enough.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll share more of what brought me to this place—including a conversation with my mom before she passed and something Quintin left behind that gave me permission to keep living.
Those moments changed me forever.
And one day, when the time feels right, I’ll share more about the hand in this picture.
But today isn’t about introducing a person.
Today is about introducing hope.
Not replacing.
It’s believing God may still be writing another beautiful chapter.
If you’re reading this today wondering if your story ended the day your heart broke…
Can I gently remind you?
The Author of your story hasn’t finished writing yet.
And maybe…
Just maybe…
He’s writing another chapter for you too.
And you too will learn how to Dance Again
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I thought staying lonely honored the people I loved.
God showed me that living fully honors them even more.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I haven’t lost my husband but after the loss of my dad I once heard someone say “you never move on, you move forward.. you either have to move forward or you die too, when you have kids they are the reason we chose to keep going… God is giving you another chapter for your story of life book..it doesn’t mean those other chapters don’t matter, just means those other chapters make up your story❤️. Grief is one of the hardest things to live with so I hope God gives you a season of love and the peace your heart deserves ❤️
Gina, thank you so much for these beautiful words. ❤️ I love what you said—that we don’t move on, we move forward. That perfectly captures what I’ve been trying to put into words. Quintin will always be a part of my story, and this next chapter doesn’t erase the chapters before it. Thank you for your kindness and for reminding me that God is still writing. 🤍
Yes I do I have a friend who is my second Mom and she found love again after 2 years.
Lori, we both are young and our lives aren’t over with. I believe like Michael, Q would want you to love again. Michael was my soulmate but I know Michael would want me to live and love again.
After 3 year I’m ready to start my new chapter and hope God will bring me a good loving, honest Christian man. Just remember don’t compare him to Q because no man will ever be your Q. plus it would be fair to him.
I wish you much happiness in your new chapter. I look forward to more stories on your new chapter with the man who now holds your hand along with God.
Laura, thank you for sharing your heart with me. ❤️ I smiled when you said not to compare anyone to Q because you’re absolutely right—no one could ever be him, and no one is meant to be. I’m learning that this isn’t about replacing a beautiful love story; it’s about trusting God to write a new one. I’ll be praying that, in His perfect timing, He brings you the loving, godly man you’re praying for. Thank you for encouraging me so deeply.
Yes I do I have a friend who is my second Mom and she found love again after 2 years.
Lori, we both are young and our lives aren’t over with. I believe like Michael, Q would want you to love again. Michael was my soulmate but I know Michael would want me to live and love again.
After 3 year I’m ready to start my new chapter and hope God will bring me a good loving, honest Christian man. Just remember don’t compare him to Q because no man will ever be your Q. ❤️ plus it would be fair to him.
I wish you much happiness in your new chapter. I look forward to more stories on your new chapter with the man who now holds your hand along with God. ❤️
Laura, thank you for such a thoughtful and encouraging message. ❤️ You’re absolutely right—no one could ever be Quintin, and no one is meant to be. I’ve come to realize this isn’t about replacing an incredible love story, but about trusting God with whatever He still has planned for my life. I’ll be praying that, in His perfect timing, He brings you the loving, godly man you’re praying for too. Thank you for celebrating this chapter with me. 🤍
Hi Lori I’ve been following you for years and years..kind of like a silent friend …following your journey which has inspired me so much! …but over the past several months, your faith has been your anchor as always and you’ve trusted God to lead each step, and He continues to show that every ending can become the beginning of something new. I believebthis too that His work in our lives is never complete, and His plans are always unfolding.
Keeping you in my prayers since..and will continue to do so was you move forward in the next chapter that God has placed you in. Sending love and hugs.
Gail, your words brought tears to my eyes. ❤️ Thank you for faithfully walking alongside me, even as a “silent friend.” Knowing that my journey has pointed someone to God’s faithfulness is one of the greatest blessings I could ever ask for. Thank you for your prayers, your encouragement, and for reminding me that God is never finished writing our stories. I’m so grateful you’re here. 🤍
Lori. I have been following you since way before Quintin’s death. When you posted the tragic news, my body went numb. I lost my first husband on Christmas Eve 28 years ago to a sudden heart attack when my children were 9 and 11 so needless to say a lot of feelings and memories rushed back even this many years later.
I so admire the fact that you were willing to share your raw grief with us through your entire journey; A journey I took many years ago.
Grief is a private journey that everyone experiences differently and in different timelines. I am very happy for you to have found someone with whom You are willing to take these next steps in your journey. I feel quite certain that Quintin had a strong hand in this part of your journey.
I have been remarried to a wonderful man for the past 23 years. He loves my children as his own, which means everything to me.
Did you ever see the movie?”Bruce Almighty” with Jim Carrey? He spends the whole movie trying to get his ex-wife back and in the end he is in heaven asking God to please send her someone special who will love her better than he was able to. When I saw this scene. I could picture my late husband, Bill, asking God to please send me someone who could take care of me and my children The way he would’ve wanted to if he was allowed to remain here. I have to say, he did an excellent job. The one thing that stood out to me in this part of my journey was that I had so much more love to give at only 38 years old. I believed that it was a tribute to my late husband and our wonderful marriage that I wanted to try and have that again. Not as a replacement but as a fulfillment of all the love I still had to give
Keeping you and your family in my prayers that God will continue to bless you and guide you as you find your way through this next chapter.
Celestine, thank you so much for sharing your incredible story with me. ❤️ I truly believe there is something so comforting about hearing from those who have walked this road before us. I love what you said about grief being different for everyone and on different timelines. That is so true. Thank you for reminding me that joy can exist alongside grief and that God is faithful through every chapter. Your encouragement and wisdom are such a gift, and I’m so thankful you took the time to share them with me. 🤍
I am, like you, like countless others, part of a fraternity we would never have chosen. I watched your videos filled with tears born of unspeakable loss…and I understood. My precious wife passed the month after our 40th anniversary. I struggled with the same concerns you shared regarding the impact and perceptions of moving on, especially of my children. Our love was a romantic poem lived out, and I feared anyone questioning it’s depth, it’s truth. God did have another chapter/dance for me, and I rejoice that He is leading you on “the broken road” to a wonderful destination. Thanks for taking us along!
Jerry, thank you for sharing your story with me. ❤️ I’m so sorry for the loss of your precious wife, but what a beautiful testimony of God’s faithfulness in continuing to write your story. I love how you described it as “another chapter” because that’s exactly how I’ve come to see it too. We never stop loving the person we lost—we simply trust God with the pages that are still left to write. Thank you for encouraging me and for reminding others that hope is possible, even after unimaginable loss. God bless you in this chapter of your journey. 🤍
I am so very happy for you. You have shared your story to the world, the love, the loss, the ups, the downs and everything in between. I truly believe that you deserve to love again. You lost your Q in April, I lost my George in August of 2024. I am considerably older than you, so I doubt that I will have another love in my life. I am not against it, I just don’t think it will happen for me and that’s okay. I continue to pray for you and your family and thank you for sharing your newfound joy with us.
Barbara, thank you so much for your kindness and for sharing a piece of your story with me. ❤️ I’m so sorry for the loss of George. I completely understand what you mean, and I truly believe each person’s journey is different. Whether God writes another love story or simply continues to reveal His faithfulness in other ways, His plans are always good. Thank you for celebrating this chapter with me and for continuing to pray for my family. That means more than you know. 🤍
I am humbled by your ability to have survived and thrived through these past two years. My mother died when I was 12 years old, I was the oldest of five children. My dad remarried a woman that was only 20 years old. And he married quickly. At first, I didn’t understand and was jealous for my mother however, this wonderful woman has kept us together as a family. My father has since passed away, but this amazing soul, who I didn’t always get along with, but now I adore, his blessed our family’s life exponentially, how many siblings can say as adults that they still love each other, that they still want to gather and be together as a family. Not many, but we do because of her. Do I still miss my mother… every single day! It’s been 50 years, but I do know that heaven includes both of these important women in my life. God does rewrite our stories and gives us hope and faith in a future of eternity. Much love to you and your continued life journey.
Holly, thank you for sharing such a beautiful perspective. ❤️ What a gift it is to hear from someone who has experienced this from the children’s side. Your story is such a reminder that love can grow without replacing the love that came before. I’m so thankful your family was blessed by someone willing to step into that role, and I appreciate you encouraging me with your experience. Thank you for taking the time to share your heart. 🤍
I still cry several times a week and it’s been 15 years since my divorce but God has not brought anyone into my life and I’m lonely. I pray he will but don’t know how to meet people anymore. I’m not the same happy person I used to be. I’m a shadow of my old self and at times I think losing a husband to death is easier than divorce because at least there is not the rejection. I so pray God grants me another love in this lifetime finish this life with. It’s hard to be patient for 15 years and counting
Jennifer, thank you for sharing your heart so honestly. ❤️ Loneliness is such a heavy burden, and I’m so sorry for all you’ve carried these past 15 years. While our stories are different, I understand what it feels like to wonder if another chapter is possible. I’ll be praying that God surrounds you with His peace, renews your hope, and opens doors in His perfect timing. No matter what your future holds, I pray you never lose sight of how deeply loved and seen you are by Him. 🤍
Lori, I am so happy for you! I know God does not make mistakes and if he has placed a hand in yours than he knows that it is right! Keep following him and he will take you places that you can’t even imagine! Honoring Q is to move forward and be happy, that’s what he would want for you and your children.
Sally, thank you so much for your encouragement. ❤️ More than anything, I’ve wanted to follow the Lord’s leading, even when it felt scary or uncertain. I truly believe He is faithful to guide us one step at a time. Thank you for reminding me that moving forward doesn’t diminish the love Quintin and I shared—it honors the life God has graciously given me to keep living. Your words mean so much. 🤍
Keep loving and living-your heart is so big and you still have so much to share!!! God bless you always xoxo
Missy, thank you so much. ❤️ That is such a sweet encouragement. My prayer has always been that no matter what I’ve walked through, my heart would stay open to loving others well and pointing people back to God’s faithfulness. Thank you for your kindness and support. 🤍
I am so incredibly happy for you, Lori!
Thank you so much, Missy! ❤️ Your kindness and excitement for this new chapter truly mean the world to me. I’m so grateful for your encouragement and for celebrating alongside me. 🤍
I am so happy for you and you know Q would want you too be happy and move forward in you’re life . Gods is still writing you’re story he’s not finished and you’ll know when it’s the right time to reveal all of what Gods is doing in you’re life . I pray you find joy and happiness in the future and I know whom ever it will be with that they will be one lucky man to have you in their life .
Angela, thank you for such a beautiful message. ❤️ I truly believe God is still writing all of our stories, and I’m so grateful for His faithfulness through every chapter. Your prayers for me, my family, and this new season mean more than you know. Thank you for walking alongside me and for speaking so much encouragement into my life. 🤍🙏
I’m so happy you have found a next chapter. After the tragic turn our lives have taken, we all deserve peace and happiness. My husband passed 17 months ago, I am still struggling quite a bit. Although I can’t imagine ever having a new relationship in my life, I put my trust in God to lead me through this painful journey and take me to the path that leads to healing and peace. I pray for that every day and hope I can get there soon, I am so shattered and lost.
Patricia, my heart aches for you. ❤️ Seventeen months is still so early, and it’s completely okay if you can’t imagine what the future looks like yet. You don’t have to figure out tomorrow today. Just keep taking the next step with the Lord, one day at a time. I truly believe He meets us in our brokenness and gently carries us toward healing, even when we can’t see it ourselves. I’ll be praying that His peace surrounds you and that, little by little, hope begins to find its way back into your heart. Sending you so much love. 🤍🙏
How lovely . I have not lost my husband , so not a comment from that perspective but I can genuinely say if something happened to me I would want my husband to find love again and share his life as he would not have asked to be single so why does society expect widows to be lonely forever ?? I find that weird. Your situation was not a choice so why does society expect people to act differently. Wishing you a happy road travelled Lori
Tina, thank you so much for your compassion and understanding. ❤️ Your perspective is such a gift, and I know it will encourage many people who read these comments. I truly believe love isn’t diminished by continuing to live the life God has given us. Thank you for celebrating this chapter with me and for your thoughtful encouragement. 🤍
Lori I’m so happy for you. I appreciate your transparency. My precious husband Darryl went to be with Jesus on June 11, 2025. It’s been a year now. I still ache from not having my best friend, my soft & safe place to land, my spiritual leader, my high school sweetheart, the love of my life and so much more. I lost my Daddy on May 18, 2018 and my Mama on November 3, 2023. I miss them terribly. When my Darryl died I wanted my Mama so badly. I needed her. I needed her hugs and her gentleness. She always knew what to say in difficult times. She always pointed me/whoever to the Lord. I’m so happy for you and I’m excited for your future. I love how you point others to Christ and how much he loves us. He really is amazing. Thank you again for sharing your journey. God bless you and your family as you walk hand in hand and heart to heart with the Lord Jesus. You are a breath of fresh air. Blessings,
Connie Rowton
Philippians 1:3. ♥️
Connie, thank you for sharing your heart with me. ❤️ I’m so sorry for the loss of Darryl. One year is such a tender place to be, and I know how deeply you miss your best friend. Thank you for your kindness and for walking this journey with me. I’ll be praying that God continues to carry you, strengthen you, and remind you that He is close to the brokenhearted. Sending you so much love. 🤍🙏