The story behind a Mustang, a memory, and learning to look through the windshield again.
A few weeks ago, I bought a car.
Not because I needed one.
Not because I was trying to make some big statement.
And certainly not because I thought a car could fix anything.
But after two years of surviving, grieving, rebuilding, and learning how to carry loss, I wanted something that felt like a fresh start.
So I bought a Mustang.
And then I gave her a name.
Tuesday.
Why I Named My Mustang Tuesday
If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you probably already understand why.
For years, Tuesdays belonged to Q.
After, Q passed I started to called them “QueDay”
Those Tuesday's were ours.
Not because we planned it that way.
Not because there was anything magical about Tuesdays.
But somehow those days became ours.
The day we connected.
The day we found each other.
The day that changed everything.
Even after Q died, Tuesdays remained sacred.
Every Tuesday became another reminder of the love story that shaped my life.
Another reminder that some people leave fingerprints on your heart that never fade.
So when it came time to name this car, Tuesday felt right.
Not because I’m holding on to the past.
But because I’m carrying it with me.
There’s a difference.
The Difference Between Holding On and Carrying Forward
For a long time after Q died, I felt like I was driving through life staring into the rearview mirror.
Looking back.
Missing what was.
Wishing for what used to be.
Trying to keep one foot in yesterday while somehow surviving today.
And honestly?
I think grief does that to all of us.
We spend so much time looking behind us that we forget there is still road ahead.
Recently I wrote a blog called Don’t Turn Back: God Is Doing a New Thing.
That message has been echoing in my heart lately.
The rearview mirror matters.
It helps us remember.
It helps us honor.
It helps us appreciate where we’ve been.
But it was never meant to become our primary view.
The windshield is bigger for a reason.
Learning to Look Through the Windshield Again
God is still writing stories.
God is still creating opportunities.
God is still bringing joy.
God is still calling us forward.
Not because the past didn’t matter.
But because the future matters too.
For the first time in a long time, I feel Him gently reminding me that there is still life ahead.
There are still adventures to take.
There are still dreams to dream.
There are still memories to make.
Not instead of Q.
But because of the strength, faith, and love he helped build inside me.
In many ways, Tuesday isn’t just a car.
It’s a symbol.
A symbol that I’m finally willing to look through the windshield again.
Moving Forward After Loss Doesn’t Mean Forgetting
When I shared my new car online, most people celebrated with me.
Others immediately joked:
“So what’s next? A man?”
I laughed.
Because isn’t that how people think?
As if healing automatically means replacing.
As if moving forward somehow means moving on.
As if joy means you’ve forgotten.
But that’s not how grief works.
And it’s certainly not how love works.
Buying a car doesn’t replace Q.
Neither would a relationship.
Nothing replaces Q.
Nothing ever will.
He was my husband.
My best friend.
The father of my children.
The person who helped shape so much of who I am.
His place in my story is permanent.
You can miss someone deeply and still laugh.
You can cry and still dream.
You can carry grief and still experience joy.
You can treasure what was and still be excited about what might be.
Sometimes God Meets Us in the Most Unexpected Moments
One of the funny things about this story is that I didn’t spend months planning to buy this car.
Honestly?
I bought it on a whim.
Life had been moving a hundred miles an hour.
Between losing my mom, raising kids, running a business, navigating grief, recovering from surgery, and simply trying to keep all the balls in the air, purchasing a car wasn’t exactly at the top of my priority list.
But something about this one felt different.
Maybe it was the color.
Maybe it was the timing.
Maybe it was simply God reminding me that joy is still allowed to exist in my life.
Whatever it was, I said yes.
The crazy part?
The dealership delivered it to my house the very next day.
And standing there in my driveway was someone else learning how to navigate life after loss.
My stepdad, Al.
Just weeks earlier he had lost my mom.
His wife.
His best friend.
His person.
As I look back now, one of my favorite memories isn’t getting the car.
It’s watching him climb in for the very first ride.
Looking back, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Al was one of the first people to ride in Tuesday.
We were both standing in unfamiliar territory.
Both learning how to navigate a future we didn’t choose.
Both missing someone we loved dearly.
Yet there we were, smiling in the driveway, taking a ride on a beautiful day.
Not because the grief was gone.
But because life was still happening.
And maybe that’s one of the hardest lessons grief teaches us.
Joy doesn’t wait until the sadness leaves.
Sometimes they ride together.
Learning to Dance Again After Grief
That’s what Learning to Dance Again has been teaching me.
Not that life goes back to normal.
Not that the pain disappears.
But that eventually God begins teaching you new steps.
And if you’re willing, He’ll lead.
Some days you’ll stumble.
Some days you’ll hesitate.
Some days you’ll wish you could go back to the way things were.
But eventually you realize God isn’t asking you to go backward.
He’s inviting you forward.
One step at a time.
What Tuesday Really Represents
That’s what Tuesday represents to me.
Not a car.
Not a purchase.
Not a midlife crisis.
A reminder.
A reminder that God isn’t finished with my story.
A reminder that the road ahead still exists.
A reminder that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life staring into the rearview mirror.
I can appreciate where I’ve been.
I can honor who I’ve loved.
I can carry the memories.
And then I can put my hands back on the wheel and keep driving.
Forward.
One mile.
One dream.
One adventure.
One Tuesday at a time.
The Road Ahead Is Still Waiting
Maybe you’re reading this while carrying your own grief.
Maybe you’ve been staring into the rearview mirror for far too long.
Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that moving forward means leaving someone behind.
It doesn’t.
You can carry them with you.
You can honor their memory.
You can cherish what was.
And you can still trust God with what’s next.
Because healing isn’t about forgetting where you’ve been.
It’s about having the courage to look ahead and believe that God still has good things waiting around the next bend in the road.
And honestly?
I think Q would have loved Tuesday.
Not because it’s a Mustang.
But because it reminds me that life is still meant to be lived.
And maybe that’s the greatest lesson of all.
Final Thoughts
Looking back, grief has looked different in every season.
Sometimes it looked like surviving.
Sometimes it looked like learning to dance again.
Sometimes it looked like removing my wedding ring.
And now, somehow, it looks like naming a Mustang Tuesday.
Lori I can really connect with your story, though I am not a window, praise God, I am physically separated from my husband of 32 years. It is hard not being with him, but he is not born again, and was neglectful and abusive toward me. I am praying that he will come to know Jesus Christ, soon. We’re in our 70’s. I find life on my own to feel scary at times. Hard to do the hard things. Trying to start up my own business, which I have never done before, and working against a time limit. I really would appreciate prayer. You are such an inspiration to me Lori. Thank you
congratulations Lori on choosing joy and most of all for your encouragement and authenticity when sharing your grief. you’re so brave and courageous and so are your children. I’m sure Q and your mum are smiling down from heaven and cheering you all on. praying for you and your family 🙏🌈🙏
Dianne, thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️ Your encouragement means so much to me. Choosing joy hasn’t meant leaving grief behind—it has meant allowing God to carry me through it. My greatest prayer has always been that my story would point people to His faithfulness, no matter the season.
Thank you for praying for me, my children, and this next chapter. Your kindness is such a blessing, and I’m so grateful you’ve been part of this journey with us. God bless you. ❤️🙏
I love this. Gives me hope. My husband of 43 years died April, 2024. I’m doing something I never had on my radar. I’m moving out of a state I lived in my whole life. I’m moving to be with my daughter and her family. I’m hoping this is a change of scenery that will bring happiness to my future. P.S. I’m also buying a new car!!
Pat, this made me smile. ❤️ First of all… congratulations on your new car! I know that may sound like such a simple thing, but sometimes those “firsts” after loss are actually acts of courage.
Moving to a new state after 43 years of marriage is a huge step of faith. I pray this new chapter with your daughter and her family brings healing, new memories, and unexpected joy. Just remember—you aren’t leaving your husband behind. You’re carrying his love with you wherever you go.
I’ll be praying for you as you settle into this new adventure. I have a feeling he would be so proud of your courage. 🤍
Lori, that was beautiful and Tuesday is the perfect name for your car. I love it. I name my cars too, mine is Annie. She’s a light green Bronco. I never knew you or followed you until your husband died. You appeared in my feed and I was heartbroken for you. I’ve watched you grieve and cry and pour your heart out and I’ve grieved with you. I’ve also seen God work miracles in your life and seen your strength and the love you’ve given to your children. they are a testament to you and your husband’s love and how you have raised them. I follow them too. you should be so proud of them. I know you are. You’ve grown so much in this two years and I know Q will always be right there tops in your heart but now this time has to be for you and I can see Q applauding you in heaven and always being right by your side wishing you happiness. I wish for you much happiness. Again, Tuesday is the perfect name for your beautiful new car.
Nancy, your comment brought tears to my eyes. ❤️ Thank you for loving my family from afar all these years. The fact that you’ve watched my children grow up, grieved alongside us, and now celebrate this new chapter means more than I can put into words.
I smiled when you told me your Bronco is named Annie! 😊 It sounds like Tuesday has a new friend.
Thank you for your kind words about my children. They are one of my greatest blessings, and I know Quintin would be so proud of the incredible young adults they’re becoming.
Your encouragement reminds me that God really can bring beauty from ashes. Thank you for walking this journey with us. I’m so grateful you’re here. ❤️
What a great message from so many different perspectives. I’m not grieving a person…but I AM grieving a dream I had for this stage of my life and the message is still appropriate, appreciated, and so very needed. Thank you!! What a blessing you are Lori!
Mary Kay, thank you for sharing that. ❤️ I think what you said is so important because grief isn’t only about losing a person. Sometimes it’s grieving a dream, a season, or the life we thought we’d have.
I’m so thankful this message met you where you are. No matter what we’re grieving, God sees it, and He is still writing our story. Thank you for your encouragement and for taking the time to share your heart with me. I’m praying God fills you with renewed hope for whatever He has ahead. ❤️
wow I’m not much of a car person, but this car is absolutely Beautiful. name Tuesday perfect, I’ve been a follower of yours for while now. As heartbreaking it has been, you have always been so real,kind in sharing your sweet family with us. All the best wishes for the new ride, today and always. big kisses and hugs to all. love ya Jo
JoAnn, thank you so much for your kind words. ❤️ Your encouragement means more than you know. Through every season, my hope has simply been to be real and to point people to God’s faithfulness, even when life doesn’t make sense.
Thank you for loving my family and cheering us on from afar. Your hugs and well wishes are felt, and I’m so grateful you’ve been part of this journey. Sending big hugs right back to you! ❤️
I am so blessed to have read this today, Lori!!! Your analogy of looking through the windshield, not the rearview mirror is spot on for so many people! It can be used not just for grief but for so many of life’s challenges, losses, and failures. As I always tell my girls, failure is just a part of learning! Things are not always going to work out the way you want, but you have to learn to pivot and take detours when there are road blocks. I lost my husband in 2020 and have been navigating life with my two daughters and my supportive family and friends. I’ve followed you for years and have loved everything about you, your family, your honesty, your faith, and especially your messages about grief the past two years. I know Tuesday is just a car but her symbolism of you (and Al) looking forward to the blessings God is putting in front of you and all of us is so powerful!! Enjoy your day and remember that you do need to look in the rearview mirror from time to time, but you can only move forward by looking at what is in front of you! Love you, my fellow widow.
Jen, your comment truly blessed me. ❤️ I love how you expanded on the windshield and rearview mirror analogy. You’re so right—it’s not just about grief. It’s about learning to trust God through every disappointment, detour, and unexpected turn in life.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and for faithfully following our family’s journey all these years. Knowing my story has encouraged you while your words now encourage me is such a beautiful picture of what God can do through shared testimonies.
I’m praying that as you continue moving forward with your daughters, you’ll see God’s goodness in every mile ahead. Thank you for taking the time to pour into me today. It means more than you know. ❤️
SO HAPPY FOR YOU LORI!! ENJOY THE RIDE!!😊❤️
Love the analogy! Enjoy the ride!
Thank you so much, Saundra! ❤️ I love that analogy too. It’s become such a good reminder for me to keep my eyes on where God is leading instead of staying focused on what’s behind me. I’m so grateful you enjoyed it. Wishing you joy on your journey too! ❤️
Beautiful color! Congratulations!
Thank you <3
I love so much of what you said here. Looking through the windshield and not the rear view mirror!!!! You are such a strong, beautiful, smart woman and have such a beautiful way with words and how to express your feelings. I learn something every time I read one of your posts or blogs. I am glad I know you and glad I got to know a little of Q. One foot at a time Lori C. And the name and color of your car is just perfect. 💗💗
Lori, your words truly touched my heart. ❤️ Thank you for your kindness and encouragement. Knowing you’ve walked this journey with me, gotten to know a little of Q through my stories, and continue to cheer me on means more than you’ll ever know.
I smiled when you mentioned Tuesday. 😊 She’s become such a reminder to keep looking through the windshield instead of the rearview mirror—to remember God’s faithfulness while trusting Him with what’s ahead.
Thank you for believing in me and for allowing my story to be a small part of yours. I’m so grateful for you, friend. ❤️
Beautiful story Lori 🙏🙏GOD continue to heal you and comfort you enjoy the ride❤️
Thank you so much, Leen. ❤️ Your kind words and prayers truly mean so much to me. I appreciate you taking the time to encourage me. God has been so faithful through every season, and I’m trusting Him with each new chapter. God bless you! ❤️🙏
Lori, that was very heartfelt , Praise God working in your life and your step dads too 🙏 Hallelujah his mercies are new every day ❤️
Thank you so much, Blanche. ❤️ One of the greatest gifts I’ve found in grief is realizing that God’s mercies truly are new every morning. Some days are still hard, but He continues to meet me there. I appreciate your encouragement and your prayers more than you know.
Beautifully spoken thoughtful words. I’m so proud of you as you navigate this road of Greif and hope. I love your new mustang Tuesday! I lost my husband 3 years ago and last April bought a new orange Mustang! I too am beginning to look forward through the front windshield. Everyday is a new day to trust in the Lord and where he leads us. Thank you Lori for your honest words of encouragement and sharing your journey to keep us all going♥️
Kathy, your comment made me smile. ❤️ I love that we both have Mustangs, and I especially love what you said about looking through the front windshield instead of the rearview mirror. That’s exactly what “Tuesday” has come to represent for me—not forgetting where I’ve been, but trusting God with where He’s leading.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I’ll be praying that as you continue looking ahead, the Lord fills each new day with His peace, purpose, and little reminders that He is faithfully writing your next chapter too. Thank you for walking this journey with me. ❤️