Holding Someone’s Hand Again
I never imagined one picture of someone holding my hand would feel so significant.
Not because of the photograph itself…
But because of everything it represents.
Two years ago, I never believed I’d hold anyone’s hand again.
When my husband, Quintin, died, I honestly thought that chapter of my life had ended forever.
Not just dating.
Not just marriage.
But believing my heart would ever be capable of opening again.
For a long time, I assumed the hardest part would be meeting someone.
It wasn’t.
The hardest part was believing I could ever let people see that chapter of my life.
There were so many fears.
The fear of disappointing people.
The fear of comments.
The fear of what others would think.
The fear of how my children would feel.
The fear of my mother-in-law.
The fear of people confusing healing with forgetting.
The fear of being accused of “moving on.”
The fear of wondering if I was honoring Quintin well.
The fear of opening my heart again.
The fear of…
“What if it doesn’t work?”
But somewhere along the way, God gently revealed something to me.
The fear was never really about letting everyone else know.
The fear was allowing myself to believe that maybe…
Just maybe…
God still had something beautiful ahead.
That realization changed everything.
Because loving again doesn’t erase a love story.
It honors it.
I learned how to love so deeply because of the life Quintin and I shared together.
Nothing will ever replace that. Nothing ever could.
In fact, one of the hardest steps in my healing journey was making the decision to take off my wedding ring.
It wasn’t about letting go of Quintin—it was about trusting that my identity, my hope, and my future were ultimately in Christ.
(If you haven’t read that part of my journey, you can read it here: Why I Finally Took Off My Wedding Ring After Losing My Husband.)
If anything, loving him so well taught me what faithful love looks like.
That gift didn’t end when his life on earth ended.
It became part of who I am.
Is It Okay to Be Happy Again After Losing Your Spouse?
A few weeks ago, I shared a blog called “The Guilt of Being Happy Again.”
At the time, many people probably thought I was simply writing about learning to smile again after loss.
In many ways, I was.
But if I’m honest…
I was also quietly writing about this.
Because long before I ever held someone’s hand again, I had to wrestle with whether I even believed I was allowed to.
Grief has a way of convincing us that joy somehow dishonors the people we’ve lost.
That if we laugh too hard…
Smile too often…
Dream again…
Or love again…
We’re somehow leaving them behind.
But there was another layer of guilt I didn’t recognize until much later.
It wasn’t just about me.
It was about my children.
Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that maybe staying alone for the rest of my life was somehow the greatest gift I could give them.
If I never opened my heart again…
They would never have to adjust.
Never have to wonder where they fit.
Never have to share their mom.
Never have to navigate another relationship.
Never have to risk being hurt again.
I somehow believed my loneliness protected them.
Looking back now, I realize I wasn’t trusting God.
I was trying to protect everyone by carrying a burden He never asked me to carry.
Because while I believed staying lonely somehow honored Quintin and protected my children…
I was also praying almost daily that God would bring strong, godly men into my children’s lives.
Men who would mentor my boys.
Men who would encourage them.
Men who would point them toward Christ.
I desperately wanted that for them.
I just never imagined God might ask me to trust Him enough to allow someone into our lives too.
That realization changed me.
I began to realize my children didn’t need a mother who stayed stuck because she was afraid of the future.
They needed to see a mother who trusted God enough to keep living.
A mother who chose joy again.
A mother who believed devastating loss didn’t get the final word.
The greatest way we honor the people we love isn’t by remaining frozen in the moment we lost them.
It’s by living the life they would have wanted for us.
Choosing joy doesn’t diminish our grief.
It magnifies the love they poured into us.
Because the people who loved us most would never want us to stop living.
They would want us to keep laughing.
Keep dreaming.
Keep serving.
Keep loving.
The love they gave us was never meant to end with them.
It was meant to continue through us.
Love isn’t a limited resource.
Our hearts were created with the capacity to grieve deeply…
And still love deeply.
Those two things can exist together.
Can God Restore Hope After Losing Your Husband?
Somewhere along the way, I stopped asking God,
“Why did this happen?”
And started asking,
“Lord… what are You still writing?”
That changed everything.
Today, this picture isn’t a declaration that I have all the answers.
It isn’t a promise that I know exactly how every chapter ends.
It’s simply a testimony that the God who carried me through the darkest valley of my life is still writing my story.
This picture isn’t just about a relationship.
It’s about hope.
It’s about discovering that healing doesn’t mean forgetting.
It means believing God is still faithful.
The hand I’m holding matters.
It represents courage.
It represents healing.
It represents trusting God with a chapter I never thought I’d have the opportunity to write.
And one day, when the time feels right, I’ll share more about that story too.
But today…
Today is about something even bigger.
Today is about the God who gently took my hand when I thought my story was over…
And reminded me that He wasn’t finished writing.
I don’t know exactly what tomorrow holds.
I don’t know where this road leads.
I don’t know what every future chapter looks like.
But for the first time in a very long time…
I’m not afraid to turn the page.
A few weeks ago I shared that healing sometimes means refusing to keep looking in the rearview mirror. In Don’t Turn Back, I talked about how God doesn’t ask us to forget our past—He asks us to trust Him with our future.
Because after everything I’ve walked through, I’ve learned this:
I may not know what tomorrow holds…
But I know Who holds my tomorrow.
And that is enough.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll share more of what brought me to this place—including a conversation with my mom before she passed and something Quintin left behind that gave me permission to keep living.
Those moments changed me forever.
And one day, when the time feels right, I’ll share more about the hand in this picture.
But today isn’t about introducing a person.
Today is about introducing hope.
Not replacing.
It’s believing God may still be writing another beautiful chapter.
If you’re reading this today wondering if your story ended the day your heart broke…
Can I gently remind you?
The Author of your story hasn’t finished writing yet.
And maybe…
Just maybe…
He’s writing another chapter for you too.
And you too will learn how to Dance Again
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I thought staying lonely honored the people I loved.
God showed me that living fully honors them even more.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lori, im so beyond happy for you and we will cover this relationship wirh prayer and Gods blessings. May you be blessed immeasurably and may this relationship be a beacon of Gods Love, meecy, grace and hope. May your heart be filled with happiness, laughter and joy. We are so beyond happy for YOU ❤️🙏🏻❤️
Kathleen, this prayer absolutely blessed me. 🥹❤️ Thank you for speaking such beautiful words over this new chapter. More than anything, I want this story to glorify God and reflect His goodness. Thank you for praying for us—it truly means more than you know. God bless you. 🤍
I am a widow that found love again with 5 children. God is directing your new path and loves you so much. I am so happy for you!!!!!God bless you and this new chapter.
Raelyn, thank you for sharing your story with me. ❤️ Hearing from other widows who have walked this road gives me so much hope. I know it wasn’t an easy journey, and I’m so grateful you took the time to encourage me. May God continue to bless your beautiful family and this chapter of your story as well. 🤍
Beautiful! 🥹
Thank you so much, Kelly! ❤️ I truly appreciate your kindness and encouragement. It means so much to have such a loving community walking through every season with me. 🤍
God is faithful and good. Believe in and receive the good blessings he has yet to come in the story of your life. I’m so happy you have reached this point in time. Enjoy the rest of the story God is bringing you to and through. I’m praying for God’s continued blessings and guidance on the life of you and your family. 🙏🏼♥️
Robin, thank you. ❤️ God has been so incredibly faithful through every mountain and valley. I’m learning to trust Him with this chapter just as much as I trusted Him through the last one. Thank you for reminding me of His goodness and for encouraging my heart. 🤍
the Bible said , Its not good for man to be alone…. Amen.
only the best for you and alothough Im only grieving a divorce for the past 15 years im hopimg for my.life also.
Very happy for you!
Thank you so much, Katie! ❤️ I truly appreciate your encouragement and your kindness. It means so much to have such supportive people walking alongside me through every chapter. 🤍
Thank you for sharing. You don’t stop loving your first love you carry them with you. You can open your heart to someone else and that is not wrong. Live is for the living and God never meant for us be alone. I have been widowed for 15 years and opened my heart once but that didn’t work out but doesn’t mean that is the end of my story..
Bonnie, thank you for taking the time to share this with me. ❤️ I love how you said we don’t stop loving our first love—we simply carry them with us. That beautifully captures what I’ve struggled to put into words. Thank you for reminding me that God’s story isn’t over yet. I’m praying He continues to write a beautiful next chapter for you as well. 🤍
Lori I have walked the same path and the guilt I put on myself was unimaginable…but God. I too have a special hand to hold and that belongs to my current husband. It’s ok to be happy, I’ll never forget my previous husband but he too wanted happiness and love after he went to live with his HEAVENLY FATHER. Much love and happiness sweet lady.
Rena, your words brought tears to my eyes. ❤️ Hearing from someone who truly understands the guilt—and has found peace on the other side—is such an encouragement. I love what you said about your husband wanting your happiness. I believe that’s such a beautiful reflection of love. Thank you for sharing your heart and giving me hope. God bless you and your sweet family. 🤍
Lori, I have been following you for many years. it broke my heart when you’re Q passed away. I watched so many of his videos and he really was a wonderful godly Man and I know a wonderful husband and father to your beautiful children. I lost my husband in 2016 to a rare neurological disease called CIDP. I moved back to my hometown and met the man who would 2 years later become my husband. he was a widower. we shared our grief together we cried together we laughed together. shared memories and experiences that no one else seem to understand. I never imagined falling in love again but it did happen and I am so thankful to God for bringing us together. he is a godly Man also. our life isn’t perfect but it is a good life for both of us! we finish each other’s sentences and thoughts then we laugh how we do it so often. I know God put my Jim in my life. just as God put someone in your life and I am so happy for you because YES Q would want you to be happy again because you have so much love to give and so much life to live. God is giving you this second chance. hold on to it run with it enjoy it 💖
Betty, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story with me. ❤️ It means so much that you’ve walked alongside my family through the years. I smiled reading about how you and Jim found each other and how you laugh together now. What a beautiful reminder that God can bring joy after unimaginable loss. Thank you for encouraging me and for reminding me that our loved ones would want us to keep living fully. Your words are such a gift. 🤍
Beautifully written!
I am so happy for you and will keep you and this man (& your family) covered in prayer!
God bless each of you!
Rebecca, thank you so much. ❤️ Your prayers truly mean the world to me. More than anything, I want this chapter to honor the Lord and be a blessing to both of our families. Thank you for covering us in prayer. 🤍
I hope to some day find love again, if that’s God’s plan for my life. My husband passed away in 2009, I only focused on raising my young daughter at the time, now she is grown.
Caroline, thank you for sharing your heart with me. ❤️ I know that hope can feel both beautiful and scary at the same time. I’ll be praying that, whatever God has planned for your future, you experience His peace, His joy, and His perfect timing. He truly is faithful. 🤍
Love this so much. I’m so glad you are able to open your heart back up again. I know how hard this has all been for you, especially earlier on. You are in my prayers, Lori. You are supported by your followers. Can’t wait to hear & see more about this! ❤️ God is so faithful! 🙌🏻
Love this so much. I’m so glad you are able to open your heart back up again. I know how hard this has all been for you, especially earlier on. You are in my prayers, Lori. You are supported by your followers. Can’t wait to hear & see more about this! ❤️ God is so faithful! 🙌🏻
Janelle, thank you so much for your sweet words and faithful prayers. ❤️ It has been a hard journey, but God has been faithful through every single step. I’m incredibly grateful for this community and for people like you who have loved and prayed for my family from the very beginning. Thank you for celebrating this chapter with me. 🤍
So happy for you! I hope we get to learn more about this person!
Thank you so much, Linda! ❤️ I’m taking this season slowly and intentionally, but I’m sure I’ll share more as the time feels right. I appreciate your excitement and your encouragement more than you know! 🤍
You deserve all the happiness and opportunities and chances this life has to offer ❤️
Nikki, thank you so much. ❤️ Your words are incredibly kind. I’m learning that embracing joy doesn’t take away from the love I have for Quintin—it simply honors the life God has given me to keep living. Thank you for encouraging my heart. 🤍
This is a very uplifting & encouraging post… I don’t think I’m there yet. But I do believe I need to keep trusting God with my story.
I’m happy for you.
So happy for you Lori. Thank you for sharing this and you so deserve a Christian partner to fulfill your life.