Some mornings, anxiety beats me awake before my alarm ever does.
Before my feet hit the floorโฆ my mind is already running.
Before the coffee finishes brewingโฆ my chest already feels tight.
And at night, when the house finally quiets down, the worries donโt always follow suit.
Lately, anxiety feels louder than my coffee.
It hums quietly in the background while Iโm making breakfast.
It shows up uninvited when my phone lights up with a notification.
It creeps in late at night when everyone else is asleepโbut my mind isnโt.
And what makes anxiety so tricky is that it doesnโt always look dramatic.
Sometimes it disguises itself as productivity. Or responsibility. Or being โon top of things.โ
It looks like replaying conversations before they even happen.
Running mental checklists you never get to cross off.
Carrying the weight of everythingโeven when nothing is technically wrong.
But underneath it all is that familiar tightness in the chest.
The racing thoughts.
That nagging sense that something is offโeven when you canโt quite name what it is.
If this sounds familiar, let me say this clearly: youโre not weak.
Youโre human.
Before Loss, My Worries Were Lighter
Iโve been thinking a lot about how different worry feels now compared to before Quintin went to heaven.
Before loss, my worries were lighter.
They still existedโof course they didโbut they didnโt carry the same weight.
I worried about schedules, finances, decisions, the normal pressures of life. But deep down, my heart still felt safe. What a priceless feeling… I would do anything to have back!
After loss, worry changed.
Now anxiety doesnโt just ask โWhat if?โ
It whispers, โRemember when?โ
Grief teaches your nervous system that life can change in an instant.
And once youโve lived through the unimaginable, your heart stays on high alert. It scans for danger.
It braces itself. It prepares for impactโeven when everything looks calm on the surface.
Thatโs why anxiety for those walking through grief often hits hardest in the quiet moments. When you wake up. When you try to fall asleep. When your guard finally drops.
But hereโs the truth I keep coming back toโone I remind myself of often:
Anxiety is loud, but it is not the authority.
What Anxiety Is Really Doing
Anxiety doesnโt usually come out of nowhere.
It often comes from trying to control outcomes we were never meant to carry.
Itโs the mental rehearsal of worst-case scenarios.
The constant scanning for what might go wrong.
Carrying tomorrowโs worries on todayโs strength.
Anxiety tells us:
โYou need to figure this out right now.โ
โIf you donโt worry about it, something bad will happen.โ
โYouโre behind. Youโre failing. Youโre missing something.โ
And if weโre not careful, we start partnering with that voiceโconfusing worry with wisdom.
But Scripture gives us a very different invitation.
Philippians 4:6โ7 says:
โDo not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. โ
When you begin to recite and pray scripture over your life, it transforms everything! I know it sounds nice…but it actually does.
3 Tangible Tips for When Worry Takes Over
Worry has a way of making everything feel urgent and overwhelming at once. The thoughts blur together, your body tightens, and suddenly it feels impossible to know where to start.
These arenโt โfix-itโ steps or quick cures. Theyโre gentle, practical ways to interrupt worryโespecially on days when your mind feels louder than your peace.
1. Untangle the Thought Before You Try to Fix the Feeling
Anxiety is usually driven by tangled thoughts, not just emotions.
Before you try to calm yourself down, pause and ask:
- What am I actually afraid of right now?
- Is this a factโor a future Iโm imagining?
Then name itโout loud or on paper.
For example:
โIโm not anxious about everything. Iโm anxious about this one conversation.โ
Or:
โIโm not overwhelmed by lifeโIโm worried about this decision I canโt control.โ
Naming the thought pulls it out of the swirl and into the light.
You canโt untangle what you refuse to identify.
Once itโs named, ask yourself:
What is mine to do todayโand what am I trying to control that isnโt mine?
That question alone can bring immediate relief, especially when grief or uncertainty has made everything feel heavy.
2. Slow the Body First (Because Worry Lives in the Nervous System)
You cannot think your way out of anxiety if your body is stuck in fight-or-flight.
Start with the physical:
- Take slow, deep breaths (inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6)
- Put your feet flat on the floor and ground yourself
- Step outside, stretch, or take a short walk
When your body slows down, your brain follows.
This isnโt a lack of faithโitโs wisdom.
God designed your nervous system, and calming it creates space for peace to return.
Especially after loss or prolonged stress, your body may be reacting before your mind has a chance to catch up. Peace often shows up after we slow our bodiesโnot before.
3. Exchange Control for TrustโOne Small Hand-Off at a Time
Worry grows when we try to carry what was never meant to be ours.
Instead of telling yourself to โstop worrying,โ try this:
- Write down one thing youโre anxious about
- Pray it honestlyโnot polished or put together
- Then release it intentionally
You might say:
โGod, Iโve done what I can. Iโm handing You the rest.โ
This isnโt ignoring realityโitโs choosing where you place the weight.
Philippians 4:6โ7 reminds us that peace isnโt something we manufacture.
Itโs something we receive after we release.
And sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is stop gripping so tightly.
A Final & VERY IMPORTANT Reminder
Worry doesnโt mean you lack faith.
Often, it simply means you care deeply.
But peace doesnโt come from controlling outcomesโit comes from trusting the One who already holds them.
If worry has been loud lately, be gentle with yourself.
Untangle the thought.
Calm the body.
Release the weight.
You donโt have to carry it all ๐ค
& something I often repeat to myself is… I don't know what my future hold, but I know who holds my future. This helps as a mantra when I am feeling that anxiety creep in and take over.
If this spoke to you, let me know in the comments so we can encourage one another. And if someone you love is carrying quiet worry, please share this with themโyou never know what God might use it to do. ๐ค
I share a bit of my heart this morning below about my grief journey for those of you who want to listen in. Always appreciate a comment below if there is a hardship you are facing and need prayer too. So please feel free to comment below and let us know how you can be supported. I ask that you take a moment and pray for the comment below yours knowing full well when you leave your comment the next one commenting will be doing the same over yours.
Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey. Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you! For those who would like to take a listen you can do so below.
So thankful for your encouragement each day? Your support means the world to me.
I am excited to announce, I have started my very own Crazy Busy Mama mug collection. Each one of these mugs have my signature exclusive signature on them. You can check them outย HEREย and you canย SNAG IT your favorite like Jesus Loves YOU Hereย โ Each one of my designs comes with my CBM signature with a โ๏ธ on each. I hope you enjoy having coffee with me each morning and these exclusive CBM designs encourage you to put your best foot forward each day!
Much encouragement and love-
Lori โ๏ธ
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Thank you for the reminders! I relate to your posts in my current season of life. I left an abusive marriage over four years ago, am happily remarried, and now my ex husband has started a custody battle. There is so much fear, dreading hearing from my lawyer, receiving the lawyer bills, and trying to keep my five children safe. Thereโs grief in what I had imagined for my life and for my children, this wasnโt it! Please pray for me, for strength and protection for my children ๐ฉท
My heart just aches reading thisโฆ what youโre carrying right now is so heavy. Walking away from an abusive marriage takes so much courage, and then to be pulled back into it through a custody battleโฆ the fear, the unknown, the weight of protecting your childrenโฆ that is a lot for one heart to hold.
I hear the grief in what you said tooโฆ grieving the life you thought youโd have, the picture you had for your family. Thatโs real, and it matters.
I am absolutely praying for youโฆ for strength when the anxiety rises, for protection over your children, and for God to go before you in every conversation, every decision, and every step of this process. He sees you, He sees your children, and He is with you in this.
You are doing something incredibly braveโฆ choosing safety, choosing protection, choosing a better path for your kids even when itโs hard.
If you feel comfortable, Iโd love for others here to lift you up tooโฆ if anyone reading this has walked through something similar, feel free to share encouragement or prayers. Weโre not meant to carry these things alone.
Iโm so grateful you shared thisโฆ you are not alone in this fight ๐ค
Thank you so much for the helpful tips. I lost my 44 yr old son, with 4 young girls to a heart attack. I have struggled with anxiety so bad since then. I am a believer and feel guilty for feeling this way. Keep sharing your heart.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart here. I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your sonโฆ there are just no words for that kind of pain. And those four sweet girlsโฆ what a heavy, sacred love you are carrying for them too.
I want to gently remind you of this, because I know how easy it is to forgetโฆ your anxiety does not disqualify your faith. It doesnโt make you a โlesserโ believer. It makes you human, walking through something unimaginably hard. Grief and anxiety often go hand in hand, and neither one scares God away. He meets you right in it.
There is no guilt required in grieving. Jesus never asked us to feel nothingโฆ He asks us to bring everything.
Iโm really grateful youโre here and that you shared this, because I know there are so many other women reading who feel the exact same way but donโt have the words yet. Youโre not alone in this space.
If you feel comfortable, I would love for you to shareโฆ what has helped you even just a little on the hardest days? Your story could be the thing that helps someone else take their next step too ๐ค
Really appreciated your story. I just lost my husband 7 months ago. 3 days after our 46th wedding anniversary.I am so lonely in this house that he wanted. I have 3 children and only 1 cares enough about me to check on me every day. My husband was my whole world. I can’t seem to stop grieving. I see him in every room and I can’t sleep because I hear his voice wverywhere. I miss him so much. How do I stop grieving. I pray every day for help and guidanc. I wish I was with him. I have no one now to talk to or even visit with. I am so alone in a 2 story house that I never wanted. My life is over.
Oh my heartโฆ I am so, so sorry.
Seven months is still so fresh, and to lose your husband just days after celebrating 46 years togetherโฆ that is a lifetime of love. Of course you see him everywhere. Of course the house feels loud with memories. Of course the nights feel unbearable. None of that means youโre doing grief โwrongโโฆ it means you loved him deeply.
I want to gently say this, because I hear the pain in your wordsโฆ you donโt have to โstop grieving.โ Grief isnโt something we turn off. Itโs something we learn, slowly and painfully, to carry. The love you shared doesnโt just disappear, so the grief doesnโt either. But it *can* change over time. It wonโt always feel this sharp, this consuming.
And the lonelinessโฆ that part is so real. Losing your person, the one you talked to about everything, leaves such a quiet that feels almost unbearable. Iโm really glad you shared that here, because you are not as alone as it feels right now. There are people reading this who understand this exact ache.
Also, I want to be very clear about something you saidโฆ wishing you were with him. That doesnโt make you weak, and it doesnโt make you a bad Christian. It makes you someone who misses her husband. But your life is not over. Even if it feels like it right now, there is still purpose in you, still breath in your lungs, still people who need your presenceโฆ even if it doesnโt feel that way today.
Can I gently encourage you with a couple small things, not big overwhelming stepsโฆ just small ones:
Maybe open a window during the day and let some light in, even if just for a little bit
Maybe sit outside for a few minutes and talk to God out loud, like you would talk to your husband
Maybe consider inviting that one child who checks on you over, even just for coffee
You donโt have to fix everything. Just take one small step at a time.
And if you feel comfortable, I would really love for you to keep sharing hereโฆ even just telling us what your husband was like. What made him *him*. Your story matters, and speaking his name keeps his memory alive in such a beautiful way.
You are not alone in this space. Iโm really thankful youโre here ๐ค
Thank you so much for this, I had such bad anxiety today. This helped me so much. Allot of times I get overwhelmed when I think about what my job is and what his job was. I canโt do them both at the same time. So I have to choose which one to do first. I can work outside around the house or clean and fix things on the inside. Then worry about the bills. So I know those day to day struggles. But I keep trying to reminding my self to take it one day at a time.
Iโm so glad you shared thisโฆ and Iโm really glad youโre here ๐ค
What youโre feeling makes so much sense. You didnโt just lose your husbandโฆ you suddenly inherited *an entire life of responsibilities* that were never meant to sit on one personโs shoulders. Of course it feels overwhelming. Of course your anxiety spikes when you start thinking about everything at once.
And I want to gently remind you of thisโฆ you are not supposed to be able to do it all at the same time.
Youโre doing something incredibly hard, and the fact that youโre even showing up, thinking through what needs to be done, and taking steps at all says so much about your strengthโฆ even if it doesnโt feel like strength right now.
That shift you mentionedโฆ โone day at a timeโโฆ thatโs exactly it. Honestly, even one *task* at a time some days. Maybe today is an โinsideโ day. Maybe tomorrow is an โoutsideโ day. The bills will get handled step by step. It doesnโt all have to be solved today.
And please donโt carry this alone if you donโt have toโฆ is there anyone who could help with even one piece? A neighbor, a friend, a family member? Sometimes people donโt step in because they donโt know what we need, but they would if we asked.
Also, I know other women reading this are in a similar placeโฆ trying to figure out how to carry both roles at once. If anyone has found something thatโs helped them manage the day to day, Iโd love for you to share here too so we can support each other.
Youโre doing better than you think. Truly. One step, one task, one day at a time ๐ค
Thank you so very much for sharing your heart & love of God with all of us! I have two adult children and they both had pregnancies simultaneously. My daughter & her husband lost their baby at 4 months pregnant, son & his wife now have a beautiful 6 month old! Unkind words were spoken and feelings were deeply hurt. I worry so much that my children will be estranged for ever and I really worry my daughter & her husband might not ever have a beautiful child of their own! Iโve prayed continuously but have difficulty letting go of trying to control it all, even knowing that Iโm not in controlโฆGod is!!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. My heart really goes out to you and to your family. What your daughter and her husband walked through losing their baby is such a deep kind of grief, and itโs so complicated when loss and new life are happening in the same family at the same time. That can bring up so many emotions that people donโt always know how to handle or express well.
It makes complete sense that youโre worried about your children and the distance that has grown between them. As moms, we want to fix things, hold everyone together, and make the pain go away for the people we love. That desire to protect your family is such a natural part of a motherโs heart.
Something Iโve had to learn in my own grief is that sometimes the most faithful thing we can do is keep loving, keep praying, and trust that God is working in places we canโt see yet. Healing between people often takes time, especially when everyone is hurting in different ways. What feels broken today doesnโt always stay that way.
I also want to gently remind you that your daughterโs story is not finished. Four months pregnant is a real loss and a real baby to grieve, and she deserves the space to walk through that. But so many families have walked through miscarriage and later held their own babies in their arms. None of us know what God has written for the next chapter of her life yet.
You sound like such a loving mom who cares deeply about both of your children. The fact that youโre praying and seeking God in the middle of it all already says so much. Sometimes the hardest surrender is letting God carry what we desperately want to control.
I will be praying for peace for your heart, healing between your children, and comfort for your daughter and her husband as they grieve their baby. God sees every part of this story, even the parts that feel tangled right now. ๐
Thank you so very much for sharing your heart & love of God with all of us! I have two adult children and they both had pregnancies simultaneously. My daughter & her husband lost their baby at 4 months pregnant, son & his wife now have a beautiful 6 month old! Unkind words were spoken and feelings were deeply hurt. I worry so much that my children will be estranged for ever and I really worry my daughter & her husband might not ever have a beautiful child of their own! Iโve prayed continuously but have difficulty letting go of trying to control it all, even knowing that Iโm not in controlโฆGod is!!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. My heart really goes out to you and your family. Losing a baby at four months is such a deep and painful loss, and when grief and new life are happening in the same family at the same time, it can bring up emotions that no one really knows how to navigate. Hurtful words can come out of places of pain that people donโt fully understand in the moment.
As moms, it is so hard not to want to step in and fix everything. We want our children to be close, we want the hurt to disappear, and we want to protect everyone we love. That instinct is such a beautiful part of a motherโs heart, even though it can make situations like this feel even heavier.
One thing I have learned in my own journey is that God often works in hearts slowly and quietly over time. What feels broken right now doesnโt always stay that way. Relationships can heal in ways we never expected, especially when people have time to process their grief and soften toward each other again.
Your daughterโs story is also not finished. Her baby mattered and that loss deserves space to be grieved. But there is still so much of her future that only God can see right now. So many families walk through loss before they eventually hold a child in their arms, and I pray that hope is still ahead for them.
The fact that you are praying and seeking God in the middle of this already shows how much you love your family. Sometimes the hardest thing for us to do is release what we cannot control and trust that God is working in ways we cannot see yet.
I will be praying for healing in your family, for peace in your heart, and for comfort for your daughter and her husband as they grieve. God sees every part of this story and He is holding each of you through it. ๐
Such a wonderful post and reminder of who is in control.
I am 7 months into my grief journey after 50 years of marriage
My mind seems to race the most at night and I lose a lot of sleep trying to calm it down
Iโm so sorry ๐ค seven months after 50 years is still so tender. Nights can be especially hard when everything finally gets quiet and the thoughts rush in. Youโre not alone in thatโpraying God brings you moments of calm and rest as you lean into Him.
Just sobbing after reading and then watching the video. I struggle with this SO much. Thank you for reminding me of what I know but is so difficult to remember and to do! (I got to meet you and your kids at your book signing a few months ago, I love you and always wish I could sit down and talk with you.) I’ve been taking a break from social media and I do miss seeing your posts, but I’m glad I get the emails! My situation is a bit different, I was divorced for 6 years when my ex-husband very suddenly passed away in August of 2024, we have 2 children and at the time they were 15 and 19. I’ve been following you since June 2024, little did I know, in just a couple of months I’d be on a similar journey as you. You have helped me so much as I navigate this with my two kids who lost their Dad just 18 months ago. There is a lot I can relate to even though I was no longer married to him, it is still very very hard! Thank you for your words of wisdom and sharing the love of Jesus and the Word.
Oh my goodness ๐ค thank you for trusting me with something so tender. Iโm so sorry for all you and your kids have been carryingโgrief shows up in so many complicated ways, and it is still so very hard, no matter the circumstances. Iโm honored our paths crossed at the book signing, and it means more than you know that the emails and words have been able to walk with you in this season. You are doing such a brave, loving job for your kids. Please know you are not alone, and Iโm so grateful youโre here. Sending you so much love and prayer as you keep taking the next step. ๐ค
5-mos today when my son and I found my husband of almost 30 yrs – cpr was started ambulance called which only led to the coroner being called everything happened so fast that morning but at the same time it was slow motion –
I have really found comfort your postings
Iโm so very sorry ๐ค what you and your son experienced is incredibly traumatic, and five months is still so raw. Iโm grateful my posts have brought you even a small bit of comfortโholding you both close in thought and prayer as you keep taking this one breath, one step at a time.
I love your heart! Your heart for Jesus, for family, for friends, and for those of us youโve never met. I love how you are sharing your story and making a difference for others. Maybe we are all not traveling the same path right now but weโve all experienced grief in some way and your words are such encouragement. Thank you for listening to Godโs calling on your life.
Thank you so much ๐ค that truly means more than I can say. Iโm grateful if my sharing can encourage even one heartโespecially in seasons of grief we all know too well. Thank you for your kindness and for walking alongside me.
Lost my husband of 58 years ago -I am lost, overwhelmed and afraid!
Iโm so very sorry ๐ค Losing your husband after 58 years is an unimaginable loss. Feeling lost, overwhelmed, and afraid makes so much senseโyour whole world changed. You donโt have to have this figured out right now. Take it one breath at a time, and please know youโre not alone. Sending you so much love and gentle comfort.
Just lost my wife after 41 years together ๐๐๐. This is exactly what I’ve been feeling. Thank you so much.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Forty-one years is a lifetime of love, and the ache youโre feeling makes so much sense. Iโm grateful my words could meet you where you are, even a little. Please know youโre not alone in thisโGod is close to the brokenhearted, and youโre being held in prayer as you take this one day at a time. ๐ค
This was so good โ all of it. That worry about what can happen when we experience such loss. Three great, and simple, tips! Thank you
Thank you so muchโthat really means a lot to me. Iโm glad it resonated and that the tips felt simple and helpful. I appreciate you taking the time to share this. ๐ค