Some mornings, anxiety beats me awake before my alarm ever does.
Before my feet hit the floorโฆ my mind is already running.
Before the coffee finishes brewingโฆ my chest already feels tight.
And at night, when the house finally quiets down, the worries donโt always follow suit.
Lately, anxiety feels louder than my coffee.
It hums quietly in the background while Iโm making breakfast.
It shows up uninvited when my phone lights up with a notification.
It creeps in late at night when everyone else is asleepโbut my mind isnโt.
And what makes anxiety so tricky is that it doesnโt always look dramatic.
Sometimes it disguises itself as productivity. Or responsibility. Or being โon top of things.โ
It looks like replaying conversations before they even happen.
Running mental checklists you never get to cross off.
Carrying the weight of everythingโeven when nothing is technically wrong.
But underneath it all is that familiar tightness in the chest.
The racing thoughts.
That nagging sense that something is offโeven when you canโt quite name what it is.
If this sounds familiar, let me say this clearly: youโre not weak.
Youโre human.
Before Loss, My Worries Were Lighter
Iโve been thinking a lot about how different worry feels now compared to before Quintin went to heaven.
Before loss, my worries were lighter.
They still existedโof course they didโbut they didnโt carry the same weight.
I worried about schedules, finances, decisions, the normal pressures of life. But deep down, my heart still felt safe. What a priceless feeling… I would do anything to have back!
After loss, worry changed.
Now anxiety doesnโt just ask โWhat if?โ
It whispers, โRemember when?โ
Grief teaches your nervous system that life can change in an instant.
And once youโve lived through the unimaginable, your heart stays on high alert. It scans for danger.
It braces itself. It prepares for impactโeven when everything looks calm on the surface.
Thatโs why anxiety for those walking through grief often hits hardest in the quiet moments. When you wake up. When you try to fall asleep. When your guard finally drops.
But hereโs the truth I keep coming back toโone I remind myself of often:
Anxiety is loud, but it is not the authority.
What Anxiety Is Really Doing
Anxiety doesnโt usually come out of nowhere.
It often comes from trying to control outcomes we were never meant to carry.
Itโs the mental rehearsal of worst-case scenarios.
The constant scanning for what might go wrong.
Carrying tomorrowโs worries on todayโs strength.
Anxiety tells us:
โYou need to figure this out right now.โ
โIf you donโt worry about it, something bad will happen.โ
โYouโre behind. Youโre failing. Youโre missing something.โ
And if weโre not careful, we start partnering with that voiceโconfusing worry with wisdom.
But Scripture gives us a very different invitation.
Philippians 4:6โ7 says:
โDo not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. โ
When you begin to recite and pray scripture over your life, it transforms everything! I know it sounds nice…but it actually does.
3 Tangible Tips for When Worry Takes Over
Worry has a way of making everything feel urgent and overwhelming at once. The thoughts blur together, your body tightens, and suddenly it feels impossible to know where to start.
These arenโt โfix-itโ steps or quick cures. Theyโre gentle, practical ways to interrupt worryโespecially on days when your mind feels louder than your peace.
1. Untangle the Thought Before You Try to Fix the Feeling
Anxiety is usually driven by tangled thoughts, not just emotions.
Before you try to calm yourself down, pause and ask:
- What am I actually afraid of right now?
- Is this a factโor a future Iโm imagining?
Then name itโout loud or on paper.
For example:
โIโm not anxious about everything. Iโm anxious about this one conversation.โ
Or:
โIโm not overwhelmed by lifeโIโm worried about this decision I canโt control.โ
Naming the thought pulls it out of the swirl and into the light.
You canโt untangle what you refuse to identify.
Once itโs named, ask yourself:
What is mine to do todayโand what am I trying to control that isnโt mine?
That question alone can bring immediate relief, especially when grief or uncertainty has made everything feel heavy.
2. Slow the Body First (Because Worry Lives in the Nervous System)
You cannot think your way out of anxiety if your body is stuck in fight-or-flight.
Start with the physical:
- Take slow, deep breaths (inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6)
- Put your feet flat on the floor and ground yourself
- Step outside, stretch, or take a short walk
When your body slows down, your brain follows.
This isnโt a lack of faithโitโs wisdom.
God designed your nervous system, and calming it creates space for peace to return.
Especially after loss or prolonged stress, your body may be reacting before your mind has a chance to catch up. Peace often shows up after we slow our bodiesโnot before.
3. Exchange Control for TrustโOne Small Hand-Off at a Time
Worry grows when we try to carry what was never meant to be ours.
Instead of telling yourself to โstop worrying,โ try this:
- Write down one thing youโre anxious about
- Pray it honestlyโnot polished or put together
- Then release it intentionally
You might say:
โGod, Iโve done what I can. Iโm handing You the rest.โ
This isnโt ignoring realityโitโs choosing where you place the weight.
Philippians 4:6โ7 reminds us that peace isnโt something we manufacture.
Itโs something we receive after we release.
And sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is stop gripping so tightly.
A Final & VERY IMPORTANT Reminder
Worry doesnโt mean you lack faith.
Often, it simply means you care deeply.
But peace doesnโt come from controlling outcomesโit comes from trusting the One who already holds them.
If worry has been loud lately, be gentle with yourself.
Untangle the thought.
Calm the body.
Release the weight.
You donโt have to carry it all ๐ค
& something I often repeat to myself is… I don't know what my future hold, but I know who holds my future. This helps as a mantra when I am feeling that anxiety creep in and take over.
If this spoke to you, let me know in the comments so we can encourage one another. And if someone you love is carrying quiet worry, please share this with themโyou never know what God might use it to do. ๐ค
I share a bit of my heart this morning below about my grief journey for those of you who want to listen in. Always appreciate a comment below if there is a hardship you are facing and need prayer too. So please feel free to comment below and let us know how you can be supported. I ask that you take a moment and pray for the comment below yours knowing full well when you leave your comment the next one commenting will be doing the same over yours.
Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey. Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you! For those who would like to take a listen you can do so below.
So thankful for your encouragement each day? Your support means the world to me.
I am excited to announce, I have started my very own Crazy Busy Mama mug collection. Each one of these mugs have my signature exclusive signature on them. You can check them outย HEREย and you canย SNAG IT your favorite like Jesus Loves YOU Hereย โ Each one of my designs comes with my CBM signature with a โ๏ธ on each. I hope you enjoy having coffee with me each morning and these exclusive CBM designs encourage you to put your best foot forward each day!
Much encouragement and love-
Lori โ๏ธ
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