There are days when I wake up and still can’t believe this is my life.
I remember taking this picture like it were yesterday!
The quiet feels louder. The routine feels heavier. And the empty space where laughter once filled the room feels like a weight pressing against my chest.
If you’re here reading this, chances are you’ve felt that kind of ache too — the kind of pain that doesn’t fade when the world moves on. Maybe you’ve lost your person, too. Maybe life changed in a blink and you’re trying to figure out who you are now.
First, let me just say this: it’s okay to not be okay.
Grief isn’t something you fix.
It isn’t something you check off a list or move on from after a few months.
Grief is something you learn to live beside. ❤️🩹
Grief Doesn’t Have a Finish Line
For so long, I fought it. If I am being honest, I still do.
I tried to outrun grief. I stayed busy. I filled my days with work, family, distractions — anything to avoid sitting with the ache. I thought if I just stayed moving, maybe it wouldn’t catch me.
But grief isn’t something you can outrun.
It doesn’t follow your schedule, and it doesn’t care how strong you are. It will sit patiently in the corner of your life, waiting for a quiet moment to remind you it’s still there.
And one day, I stopped fighting it.
I realized that grief wasn’t my enemy — it was proof that I had loved deeply. It was the shadow love leaves behind when the person you love is no longer here.
So now, instead of trying to get over it, I’m learning to let grief sit beside me. Some days, it takes up more space than I’d like. Other days, it’s a whisper. But it’s always there, and that’s okay.
You’re Not Alone ❤️🩹
When my husband, Quintin, passed suddenly, my world shattered.
There was no warning. No time to prepare. Just one moment life was as it had always been — full of love, chaos, laughter — and the next, it was forever changed.
If you’ve ever lost someone that way, you know how it feels to wake up in a world that no longer makes sense.
You find yourself doing things you never thought you’d do — like talking to an empty chair or replaying voicemails just to hear their voice again. You scroll through photos, half smiling, half breaking.
And sometimes people don’t understand. They tell you to “stay strong,” or they say things like, “time heals all wounds.” But what they don’t realize is — some wounds aren’t meant to heal. They become part of who we are.
Grief changes you.
And that’s not something to be ashamed of.
It’s Okay to Feel It All
If grief is “griefin’,” as I like to say — let it.
Let yourself feel the tears that come out of nowhere. Let yourself laugh again without guilt. Let yourself remember the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the heartbreaking.
You are allowed to feel everything.
The messy, complicated, unexpected parts of grief are all part of love.
Because grief and love — they’re two sides of the same coin. One doesn’t exist without the other.
And if you loved deeply, you’re going to grieve deeply.
That’s not weakness — that’s proof that your heart still works. ❤️🩹
Rebuilding in the “After”
There’s a before and an after when you lose someone you love.
The before was full of plans, dreams, laughter, and routines that felt so normal you didn’t even notice them.
The after is quiet, uncertain, and at times unbearably heavy.
But even in the “after,” there’s still life to be lived.
It doesn’t look the same, and honestly, it never will. But little by little, piece by piece, you start finding your footing again. You start learning who you are now — the version of you that exists with both love and loss woven into every fiber of your being.
I’m still learning this. Every day.
I’m learning to find beauty in the cracks — to see how light still manages to slip through the broken pieces.
I’m learning to stop expecting myself to be who I was before, because she doesn’t exist anymore.
And I’m learning that’s okay.
You Will Make It Through
If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re barely surviving — I see you.
I know what it’s like to sit in the dark and wonder how you’re ever supposed to move forward when the person who made life make sense is gone.
But you will make it through.
Not because the pain disappears — but because you learn how to carry it.
You learn how to coexist with grief — how to hold sorrow in one hand and gratitude in the other.
You learn how to keep stepping, even when it feels impossible.
And one day, without even realizing it, you’ll laugh again. You’ll find a moment of peace, maybe even joy, and you’ll feel a small spark of life.
That doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten them.
It means their love has become part of the strength that carries you forward. ❤️🩹
Stop Fighting Grief
If I could give you one piece of advice from my own journey, it’s this: stop fighting grief.
Let it in.
Sit with it.
Let it teach you, soften you, and stretch your heart in ways you never thought possible.
Because when you stop fighting it, you make room for healing — not the kind that erases pain, but the kind that helps you live fully again.
You learn that grief can sit beside laughter.
That tears can fall right in the middle of joy.
That missing them doesn’t mean you can’t also be grateful for the moments you had.
You learn that it’s okay to be both broken and beautiful.
You Are Not Alone
There’s a whole community of us — the ones walking through grief, trying to rebuild, trying to rediscover who we are now.
We may not talk about it every day, but we’re here. We understand the deep, quiet ache.
So if grief is “griefin’” — just know you’re not alone. ❤️🩹
You are seen.
You are loved.
And you are making it through, one breath, one step at a time.
I’d Love to Hear From You
If this message spoke to your heart, I’d love for you to share your story in the comments below.
How has grief changed you?
What helps you keep stepping forward?
Your story might be the very thing that helps someone else know they aren’t alone.
Let’s remind each other that healing isn’t about moving on — it’s about learning how to live with love and loss side by side. ❤️🩹
This is a community for YOU. Every comment I read and appreciate so much. Sharing your story not only helps you but helps others in their grieving process. Please take the time to share right here in this space. ❤️🩹
Poem: Long Grief
Long grief isn’t a season.
It’s permanent.
It stays with you. It settles in.
You learn how to keep living, but it’s never the same life.
There’s the one you had before and the one that came after.
You don’t go back. You just learn how to exist inside the after.
You stop expecting normal to return.
You start seeing that this is normal now.
You can have a good day and still feel the emptiness sitting right beside it.
You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone in a way you can’t explain.
You rebuild. You laugh. You find new pieces of life, but nothing feels untouched by loss.
It changes how you think, how you trust, how you hope.
Even joy feels different – smaller, quieter, earned.
Long grief is a slow acceptance that this is it.
There isn’t a finish line.
It’s the knowing that you’ll always love them, always miss them,
and that both can exist inside the life you’re now living.
That’s what long grief is –
a lifetime of figuring out how to live with a wound that will never heal.
-unknown
I HAVE LEARNED I CAN’T FIGHT IT ANYMORE
Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey.
Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you!
For those who would like to take a listen in on the “I HAVE LEARNED I CAN’T FIGHT IT ANYMORE ” raw chat you can do so below.
Rooted in Him: How Journaling Became My Lifeline Through Grief
After losing Quintin, I found myself lost in waves of emotions I couldn’t always explain. Some days I felt strong, other days completely undone. It was during one of those heavy nights that I opened a notebook and just started to write. No filter, no plan — just raw words from a shattered heart.
That simple act became my lifeline.
Journaling gave my grief a voice when I couldn’t find the words to pray out loud. It became a safe space to release anger, sadness, gratitude, and even the little glimpses of hope that would sneak in when I least expected them. Over time, those pages became a record of healing — not because the pain disappeared, but because I could see how God met me right there in it.
That’s why I created the Rooted in Him Prayer Journal — to help others walk through their own valleys with faith, reflection, and honest connection to God. If you’re struggling to process your pain or simply need a place to pour out your heart, this journal is for you.
Because healing doesn’t come from holding it in — it comes from letting it out and letting Him in. ❤️🩹
You can grab my ROOTED IN HIM PRAYER JOURNAL HERE
Much LOVE ❤️🩹
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