There are days when I wake up and still can’t believe this is my life.
I remember taking this picture like it were yesterday!
The quiet feels louder. The routine feels heavier. And the empty space where laughter once filled the room feels like a weight pressing against my chest.
If you’re here reading this, chances are you’ve felt that kind of ache too — the kind of pain that doesn’t fade when the world moves on. Maybe you’ve lost your person, too. Maybe life changed in a blink and you’re trying to figure out who you are now.
First, let me just say this: it’s okay to not be okay.
Grief isn’t something you fix.
It isn’t something you check off a list or move on from after a few months.
Grief is something you learn to live beside. ❤️🩹
Grief Doesn’t Have a Finish Line
For so long, I fought it. If I am being honest, I still do.
I tried to outrun grief. I stayed busy. I filled my days with work, family, distractions — anything to avoid sitting with the ache. I thought if I just stayed moving, maybe it wouldn’t catch me.
But grief isn’t something you can outrun.
It doesn’t follow your schedule, and it doesn’t care how strong you are. It will sit patiently in the corner of your life, waiting for a quiet moment to remind you it’s still there.
And one day, I stopped fighting it.
I realized that grief wasn’t my enemy — it was proof that I had loved deeply. It was the shadow love leaves behind when the person you love is no longer here.
So now, instead of trying to get over it, I’m learning to let grief sit beside me. Some days, it takes up more space than I’d like. Other days, it’s a whisper. But it’s always there, and that’s okay.
You’re Not Alone ❤️🩹
When my husband, Quintin, passed suddenly, my world shattered.
There was no warning. No time to prepare. Just one moment life was as it had always been — full of love, chaos, laughter — and the next, it was forever changed.
If you’ve ever lost someone that way, you know how it feels to wake up in a world that no longer makes sense.
You find yourself doing things you never thought you’d do — like talking to an empty chair or replaying voicemails just to hear their voice again. You scroll through photos, half smiling, half breaking.
And sometimes people don’t understand. They tell you to “stay strong,” or they say things like, “time heals all wounds.” But what they don’t realize is — some wounds aren’t meant to heal. They become part of who we are.
Grief changes you.
And that’s not something to be ashamed of.
It’s Okay to Feel It All
If grief is “griefin’,” as I like to say — let it.
Let yourself feel the tears that come out of nowhere. Let yourself laugh again without guilt. Let yourself remember the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the heartbreaking.
You are allowed to feel everything.
The messy, complicated, unexpected parts of grief are all part of love.
Because grief and love — they’re two sides of the same coin. One doesn’t exist without the other.
And if you loved deeply, you’re going to grieve deeply.
That’s not weakness — that’s proof that your heart still works. ❤️🩹
Rebuilding in the “After”
There’s a before and an after when you lose someone you love.
The before was full of plans, dreams, laughter, and routines that felt so normal you didn’t even notice them.
The after is quiet, uncertain, and at times unbearably heavy.
But even in the “after,” there’s still life to be lived.
It doesn’t look the same, and honestly, it never will. But little by little, piece by piece, you start finding your footing again. You start learning who you are now — the version of you that exists with both love and loss woven into every fiber of your being.
I’m still learning this. Every day.
I’m learning to find beauty in the cracks — to see how light still manages to slip through the broken pieces.
I’m learning to stop expecting myself to be who I was before, because she doesn’t exist anymore.
And I’m learning that’s okay.
You Will Make It Through
If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re barely surviving — I see you.
I know what it’s like to sit in the dark and wonder how you’re ever supposed to move forward when the person who made life make sense is gone.
But you will make it through.
Not because the pain disappears — but because you learn how to carry it.
You learn how to coexist with grief — how to hold sorrow in one hand and gratitude in the other.
You learn how to keep stepping, even when it feels impossible.
And one day, without even realizing it, you’ll laugh again. You’ll find a moment of peace, maybe even joy, and you’ll feel a small spark of life.
That doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten them.
It means their love has become part of the strength that carries you forward. ❤️🩹
Stop Fighting Grief
If I could give you one piece of advice from my own journey, it’s this: stop fighting grief.
Let it in.
Sit with it.
Let it teach you, soften you, and stretch your heart in ways you never thought possible.
Because when you stop fighting it, you make room for healing — not the kind that erases pain, but the kind that helps you live fully again.
You learn that grief can sit beside laughter.
That tears can fall right in the middle of joy.
That missing them doesn’t mean you can’t also be grateful for the moments you had.
You learn that it’s okay to be both broken and beautiful.
You Are Not Alone
There’s a whole community of us — the ones walking through grief, trying to rebuild, trying to rediscover who we are now.
We may not talk about it every day, but we’re here. We understand the deep, quiet ache.
So if grief is “griefin’” — just know you’re not alone. ❤️🩹
You are seen.
You are loved.
And you are making it through, one breath, one step at a time.
I’d Love to Hear From You
If this message spoke to your heart, I’d love for you to share your story in the comments below.
How has grief changed you?
What helps you keep stepping forward?
Your story might be the very thing that helps someone else know they aren’t alone.
Let’s remind each other that healing isn’t about moving on — it’s about learning how to live with love and loss side by side. ❤️🩹
This is a community for YOU. Every comment I read and appreciate so much. Sharing your story not only helps you but helps others in their grieving process. Please take the time to share right here in this space. ❤️🩹
Poem: Long Grief
Long grief isn’t a season.
It’s permanent.
It stays with you. It settles in.
You learn how to keep living, but it’s never the same life.
There’s the one you had before and the one that came after.
You don’t go back. You just learn how to exist inside the after.
You stop expecting normal to return.
You start seeing that this is normal now.
You can have a good day and still feel the emptiness sitting right beside it.
You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone in a way you can’t explain.
You rebuild. You laugh. You find new pieces of life, but nothing feels untouched by loss.
It changes how you think, how you trust, how you hope.
Even joy feels different – smaller, quieter, earned.
Long grief is a slow acceptance that this is it.
There isn’t a finish line.
It’s the knowing that you’ll always love them, always miss them,
and that both can exist inside the life you’re now living.
That’s what long grief is –
a lifetime of figuring out how to live with a wound that will never heal.
-unknown
*I had found this incredible poem shared on a Widow/Widower Facebook page and since then the original author reached out and would love to give her proper credit. Long Grief Poem: Aimee Suyko and her blog is intheirfootstesblog
I HAVE LEARNED I CAN'T FIGHT IT ANYMORE
Every morning, I wake up and share a bit of my heart on my socials. If you are not following me on instagram, you can do so HERE and in this season specifically I am sharing my grief journey.
Praying that I can share hope in the midst of my pain and how you too can find purpose in the midst of your valley by remembering Whose you are and who holds you!
For those who would like to take a listen in on the “I HAVE LEARNED I CAN'T FIGHT IT ANYMORE ” raw chat you can do so below.
Rooted in Him: How Journaling Became My Lifeline Through Grief
After losing Quintin, I found myself lost in waves of emotions I couldn’t always explain. Some days I felt strong, other days completely undone. It was during one of those heavy nights that I opened a notebook and just started to write. No filter, no plan — just raw words from a shattered heart.
That simple act became my lifeline.
Journaling gave my grief a voice when I couldn’t find the words to pray out loud. It became a safe space to release anger, sadness, gratitude, and even the little glimpses of hope that would sneak in when I least expected them. Over time, those pages became a record of healing — not because the pain disappeared, but because I could see how God met me right there in it.
That’s why I created the Rooted in Him Prayer Journal — to help others walk through their own valleys with faith, reflection, and honest connection to God. If you’re struggling to process your pain or simply need a place to pour out your heart, this journal is for you.
Because healing doesn’t come from holding it in — it comes from letting it out and letting Him in. ❤️🩹
You can grab my ROOTED IN HIM PRAYER JOURNAL HERE
Much LOVE ❤️🩹
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I lost my husband 3 weeks ago. He had an LAD heart attack the week before, was rushed to ER and had a stent put in. He was doing amazing, I went to work on Oct 22 and a few hours later something wasnt right, he wasn’t awake yet to let our dogs out. I rushed home early from work and found him passed away in his sleep. When I got off the phone with 911 its like you see in the movies, you hit the floor and start wailing, screaming, yelling, crying, hyperventilating…everything! I could not imagine he was gone. This wasnt happening to me. Im only 43 and now a widow. The pain and first hurt so bad. The emptiness and my heart being broken into a million pieces 💔. We were together a total of 23 years and married for 15 of those years. I miss him deeply but also know hes in the best place he could ever be. I love you Dustin
I am so sorry! Grief is so hard…praying God covers you with peace especially over the holiday season. Hang in there friend. Praying for you
I, too, lost the love of my life 5 years ago. It feels like yesterday. We grew up together; he was always a part of my life until he wasn’t. I will never be the same, and I miss him terribly.
Death Changes EVERYTHING.
Time Changes NOTHING.
Oh friend… my heart aches reading your words. Losing the person who walked through every season with you is a pain that settles so deep. You’re right — death changes everything, and time doesn’t erase the love or the ache.
Thank you for sharing a piece of your story here. I’m holding you close in my heart today. 🤍✝️
Thank you for your wise words.It was a good read and lesson learned. I was married to Bobby for 50 plus years. And he passed very suddenly.
At the age of seventy five, and he will always forever for sure.Be in my heart and in my steps.And in my prayers. Thank you
<3 I am so sorry! Thank you for sharing. Prayers for you.
I lost my husband Jack on Father’s Day 2023. My youngest daughter was getting married the next day. He was 58 healthy and went to sleep and did not wake up. He had a pulmonary embolism . We met when we were 16 and got married at 22. We had a beautiful 36 years together. He was the only man I ever loved. We were in ministry together so we lived our lives daily with each other. You could not say Jack without saying Patty .I am blessed with 3 beautiful adult kids who are all married ,and I now have 4 grandchildren that are 4 and under. Jack only met my oldest which is a girl. The three boys were born in October, January and July. Life is beautiful with all the babies yet my heart aches that Jack is not here with me on this earth enjoying watching them grow. I feel like I will always be in the Wilderness without him . Life is so different, and though I find joy everyday grief is always present. It is so complicated. God is good and has shown himself to me in so many ways. I enjoyed reading your blog! Thank you for being vulnerable!
Thank you for sharing. So much of what you share and express is on point for me. My fiancé passed away unexpectedly last year, not long after your husband. Scott was the love of my life and adored by not only myself, but my children as well. This loss has been very different and very lonely. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Hi Lori – I am the author of the Long Grief poem. I would like you to give me proper credit especially since you are also using it here in your blog. All my posts are very personal to my own grief journey and I spend a lot of time writing them. My full name is Aimee Suyko and my blog is intheirfootstepsblog
Thank you.
Thanks for reaching out. Absolutely, thanks for reaching out. I originally saw it posted by a friend of mine in a Widow/Widower facebook group. I have updated to give you proper credit. Beautiful piece. Keep sharing your grief journey, I believe when you do it helps so many like me walking through the deepest despair of my life. Much Love – Lori
Thank you Lori! I’m so happy this poem is helping so many and I’m happy it found you when you needed it most 💗
Ps – the link above should be intheirfootstepsblog 💕
I love watching your videos they help me most days. I lost my partner 9 months ago to cancer. He went from being a big strong man to like a frightened child it was heartbreaking. But I was there with him till the end. We was together 10 years. I miss him so much everyday. Its so hard trying to get through each day. Would give anything to just have one more day with him. Thankyou for your videos though they help so much x
I’m so thankful for you and your blogs and posts and I know Quintin would be so proud of you, as you have taken tragedy and turned it into triumph by sharing it with so many others! I’m praying that God will “bring me my life” – whatever that new life without my precious husband looks like, because Ephesians tells us that He has prepared good works in advance for us to do! So, while our husbands “good works” have been completed, we who remain still must have “good works” to accomplish! And you, my friend, are certainly walking in yours! I’m so proud of you!! Keep fighting the good fight, keep running the race laid out before you 😉 God bless
Hey Lori, As you know I lost my wife Trina 1 year and 8 months ago.Due to a Cancerous Brain Tumor Hermetes Duclos Syndrome its inherited in the family .its very very rare ,its a tumor that never leaves with each surgery it gets worse.Aftr 3 surgeries Trina couldnt do anymore surgeries after each surgery she lost something and after she lost her ability to walk, eyesight and could not walk anymore .I was her caregiver for 11 years .We were together a total of 31 years we were set up by a friend of hers and been happily ever after ever since her passing shocked me and I have never been the same.Ive been so blessed for your thankful for your blogs and post .you and your beautiful family have gotten me thru and helped me this difficult time.I pray for you and your family everyday.I cannot thank you enough for your strength and rawness daily sharing on your blog and videos.my God bless you and your family always.
I lost my husband June 24,2025. He was in a horrible car accident in April 2023 and became a quadriplegic with a trach. We knew we didn’t have like 10-20 more years together, but I never thought would lose him just 2.5 years later. He fought everyday for me and our 2 13 years later old boys just to get through the day. In April 2023 I became his full time caregiver and was blessed to spend so much time together. Now I am almost 5 months since his death and I am still trying to figure out what life looks like. He was my whole world and life in the daily and now the house is quiet, empty, and trying to find my next purpose has been very hard. Your daily videos help me and I pray daily to just accomplish one thing, even if it is cooking dinner or taking a shower.
oh no, I am so sorry <3 So glad me sharing my journey has helped you in the littlest of ways. So kind of you to take the time to encourage me in the depths of your grief. I think you are closer to your purpose than you might now. <3 Hang in there. May God keep you and bless you
Your post about parenting in this season hit home with me. That’s my biggest struggle. I lost my husband at 48 years old to brain cancer last year. We were married 24 years. I grieved daily watching him slip away slowly. We have 4 children and I still have a teen at home. He misses his dad desperately. I can’t tell you how much your posts have impacted my journey and helped with a sense of community. I’m only upright because of my faith and God’s strength. Thank you for being so vulnerable and real. God bless you and your family.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve walked through. Watching someone you love slip away is its own kind of heartbreak, and then parenting through that loss adds a weight no one prepares us for.
Thank you for your vulnerability. I’m humbled that anything I share has made this road feel a little less lonely. Our faith truly does carry us when we have nothing left to give.
Praying God surrounds you and your kids with His peace and strength. God bless you, friend. 🤍
Hello, Soon after my husband Eddie retired in 2022, he was diagnosed with esophageal and lung cancer that eventually spread throughout his body, including his adrenal glands, bone and brain. He fought so hard with grace and dignity, and I left my job to care for him through his two-year illness. He passed at home on June 10, 2025. I miss him every day and am learning to carry this grief as I move forward. Listening, reading, and watching your journey helps. God bless you and thank you. Pam