If you landed here on this blog post, it’s probably because of my social media post HERE about the loss of my best friend, loving husband, and incredible father Quintin.
A bit of an update….( I had to update the LINK HERE because facebook took down the post because it was deemed “Self harm” and a “Cyber Security Threat”) UGH! The censoring on these social platforms is scary to say the least.
This is the most difficult post I have ever had to write. I am writing here on my blog, as I have more freedom in what I can share and say.
The last few weeks have been emotionally exhausting in so many ways from planning, writing eulogy’s to funeral service programs full of Q ism’s and helping my kids navigate their emotions when I don’t know how to properly navigate my own. Grief is so tricky. Grief feels like when all you want to do is go Home but you can’t. The deepest ache in your soul of that forever missing piece is hard to put into words. I will have been married to Quintin 25 years this May 29th, and have been together with him for what would have been 31 incredible years. I have known him as a friend since I was 8 years old, and I have never had to do life without this amazing man.
Sharing the details surrounding his sudden death, brings a realness to him being gone that is so incredibly painful. If I am being completely honest, I am still trying to digest everything and I am battling with the denial of him being gone as my reality. Death alone is hard to comprehend and sudden deaths are even more difficult to understand. We are struggling to pickup all the pieces of that day, but through it all God is unchanging and remains faithful.
Even though I am a public person, my kids deserve their privacy and there are areas in my life where I deserve privacy too. I am a fixer and hope giver, so when I share publicly on my platform I want to offer solutions and hope even through my despair.
Often, my desire is to wait for healing before sharing, but the longer I grieve the realization hits I will never be over him or completely healed. I have struggled sharing for many reasons privacy and deep sorrow as mentioned above but also to protect myself and my children from the onslaught of unwanted opinions and negativity. Don’t get me wrong, we have had countless positive messages of encouragement and for those I am so incredibly grateful. However, those negative direct messages and comments seem to cut to the core. The messages that tell me to “get it together already”, “We all already know he is dead stop talking about him and focus on my children” , “Its about time you shut down your social media to mourn stop seeking attention by constantly posting about your dead husband”; to more evil comments and messages assuming details surrounding his death and saying that clearly it was a DIY “using a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” that serving me divorce papers would have been more sufficient. UGH! Horrific right? Reading this not only makes me sick, it is devastating as a mother to see your kids read these too. I will never understand why people think they can spew this sort of evil, but I can hear Q say “Hurt people, hurt people” and this Q'sim although not ok, is very true.
I believe in my healing and despair if I step out into the unknown and have faith, God will meet me there and not only heal me in my brokenness but help to teach others in their brokenness and heal them too.
I don’t have it together not sure I ever will … but here I am offering what I have in my time of brokenness in hopes it will help someone in their darkest hour not to feel so alone.
April 9th will be Forever Etched in my Memory as Day of Lasts.
The last day I would hear your voice
The last day I would feel your touch or embrace
The last day I would kiss your lips
The last day I would hear your laughter
The last day I would hear you encourage our children
The last day I would ever see you with my earthly eyes
I mean how could this be? Just the day before we were enjoying the eclipse together and laughing about Lulu (our squirrel hunting dog- if you were fortunate to catch the behind the scenes stories of Q and Lulu you can appreciate this comment- they were a riot together) wearing her safety glasses
April 9th was a Tuesday- for those who don’t know Tuesdays were date days for Quintin and I. We spent our mornings together enjoying coffee and most of the time breakfast, before the business of our day got started. These date days got started in order to spend intentional time together providing a bit of a reprieve from the hustle and bustle of being parents to four amazing active kiddos. We were intentional about carving out time just for the two of us, and made it a point to schedule in our time together and prioritized it over the business of life.
This Tuesday was like any other Tuesday. Alarm went off at 6:15 got our kids off to school (minus one who was away at college) and while I was showering and getting ready Q joked and talked to a good friend on the phone before we left , Pacing in true Q fashion. If you know Quintin, you know the man literally never sat down much less was he able to be still. His constant motion is something I will greatly miss. Spring was in the air and the sun was out – it was going to be a good day.
We enjoyed our time together at a local Cracker Barrel -sipping coffee (decaf for him of course) and talking about what the summer would be like having Kale home again, college visits for Ella, Fisher being so focused on crushing PR’s in track and how if Lily only knew how much potential she has how she would crush whatever she set her mind to.
After a good conversation, we went our separate ways. I would have normally snapped a quick selfie to remind others how important date days were and how fighting for your marriage in today’s society was so important, but on this particular day it didn’t even cross our mind. Oh how I wish we would have taken one… but I will chock this up to being in the moment with my sweet husband.
Later that afternoon, we met at the house to go to Lily’s track meet together to see her potential in action. He threw me the keys and asked me to drive because he had started not feeling well that day.
He had been having some back issues and indigestion which was unfortunately a common occurrence for him. He had recently been having esophageal spasms and was struggling with managing them. If you have ever had them you know how incredibly painful they are it was hard to watch him go through that.
We brought two chairs (he never sits in a chair- remember Q likes to pace) to watch Lily throw at invitationals and bring home first place on both events. Q was so proud of his little girl! He even posted about it on facebook, little did he know it happened to be his last social media post. He was such a great dad always being there to support, coach and cheer them on no matter the circumstance.
We truly had an amazing day in so many ways.
We decided to do Tacos at a local Mexican restaurant that evening and Quintin made the last minute decision to stay home. When we got home, Quintin had made grilled chicken for the week for Fisher to make sure his boy got his protein in. Even when he didn’t feel great he was always thinking and serving others, this speaks true to who Q was.
Some knew and many didn't, but Quintin struggled with long covid. It is not something he was public about for a multitude of reasons but even typing the word covid you will get flagged and meta will eventually ban your account, thus the reason for my blog post instead of a social media post. He had a difficult Covid spell in 2020 that landed him in the ER with heart rates of over 200 and that was the beginning of it all. His heart arrhythmias had started at Covid and increased sporadically over time. After extensive cardiac testing and cardiovascular appointments with multiple cardiologists – including an Electrophysiologist everyone was at a loss. His heart was healthy and strong but his electrical system seemed to be erratically broken. They called it idiopathic arrhythmias with no apparent structural heart defects or disease. In short, these arrhythmias had no identifiable cause therefore there was no identifiable solution. If only they could identity a trigger and localize the arrhythmia then they might could do something about it. They tried several different methods that didn't result in success.
Quintin was a 43 year old who suffered from a multitude of abnormal heart arrhythmias that they could not pin point. There was no pattern to them, nothing they could find that triggered them and the doctors reassured him they would not be fatal. These excitable abnormal arrhythmias were undoubtedly triggered by Covid. As I am sure you could imagine, this was followed with lots of confusion and frustration on our end. Puzzled doctors encouraged him to go to the Mayo Clinic so he didn't spare any time submitting his medical records and applying to the Mayo Clinic specifically with the Heart Rhythm Service Cardiovascular unit, two times to only be denied twice. Mayos response was “they only extend appointments to those patients who we truly think we can help and make a difference” … read that again, crazy right?
We were frustrated to say the least, however we trusted what the EP doctors had said and his arrhythmias would not be fatal. Debilitating at times yes, but would not be fatal. This was repeated to us from multiple doctors.
On the evening of April 9th,
On the evening of April 9th, laying next to me in bed watching Netflix he became unconscious. He had just gotten up less than ten minutes prior to get a drink of water. Just a few feet away, no noise leading up to the event, nothing out of the norm, just a relaxing evening at home, no signs of distress no nothing at all. I happened to look over to see him and that is when I realized something was not right. I was in complete and utter shock! I immediately yelled out for help, started trying to shake him to try to wake him up and then realized there was a bigger issue and started CPR right away. My sweet daughter ran downstairs to our room and immediately helped me by calling 911 and the two of us administered CPR for 9 minutes while my younger two children stood outside the door weeping. 9 minutes later the EMT arrived to take over our efforts.
The next 30 minutes, was the longest 30 minutes of my life. I screamed out in agony and immediately dropped to my knees there my sweet children hugged me and started to pray out loud for their dad. To witness my children in such despair is indescribable yet the strength and faith they had in their brokenness was so admirable. All of us felt so helpless.
In the next moments, we began to witness the absolute disbelief of our new unwanted reality unfolding in front of our very eyes. After 30 minutes of working to resuscitate my sweet husband and their father, the medical examiner and team said there was nothing they could do. We were in absolute shock and disbelief so many emotions flooded in. How could this be possible? As we went in to say our goodbyes it was like time stood still. I fell to my knees over his body and cried out to God and thanked him for the time He had given us with Quintin as my best friend and husband, truly the most amazing father and ultimately thankful for sending His son Jesus to the cross to die and raise again so that we will be able to see Quintin again. I realized that although his physical body was present, Quintin was no longer there. The father of my children, my protector had gone to be with his Heavenly Father where he was completely at peace. I was so broken, hurt, angry and so many emotions flooded however for some unknown reason all I could outwardly verbalize in that moment was gratitude. Thanking God for the time with Quintin and him choosing me to be his wife and mother of his children.
We had so many assumptions about the events that took place that evening but so many unanswered questions remained.
We got the official word that Quintin passed from sudden cardiac arrest. This is not a heart attack, sudden cardiac arrest is different than a heart attack. His heart was healthy in all ways, this was an electrical issue with his heart called ventricular fibrillation. This is a life threatening situation that results in a rapid inadequate heart beat. He was in ventricular fibrillation for 37 seconds and the only thing that could have potentially changed the outcome was an automated external defibrillator to be used immediately. And even with that there is a very slim chance of survival. Ventricular fibrillation is a rare occurrence and causes immediate loss of consciousness and no pulse. His sudden cardiac arrest was a result from long covid and had nothing to do with his lifestyle. He was very active with our kids, worked out with our boys and health conscious with his lifestyle decisions even drank decaf coffee. Covid messed up his electrical system and would debilitate him at times and unfortunately ultimately took his life. We are crushed and devastated and still have so many lingering questions. HOW? WHY? At 46, he had so much more to do in life. He was so young to have his life cut short.
I have been waiting to share until I had all the details of that night straightened out. I look back on that day and ask myself “what if” all day long … I truly have beat myself up and so have all of my children. From my sweet daughter who helped administer CPR to the younger two standing outside the room feeling helpless as they witnessed it all, to my son driving home from college wishing he could have been here to save his dad. We are all struggling. The fact is that we all did what we could and nothing that we could have done or didn’t do could have changed the outcome. Now it’s getting our head thoughts to connect with our hearts, truly the hardest part. My kids are all struggling so much in so many areas right now. Frankly, we all are. We all need your prayers, but my children especially.
I believe all of the night events leading up to the fatal event that happened that night were all unrelated. The doctors have even indicated this as well. These are questions I will never fully have answers to and that is a hard pill to swallow. I struggle with all of these unanswered questions each and every day. Then I am reminded that I get to choose where to spend my energy. I can choose to spend it on all the questions that will always remain unanswered, or I can choose to spend the little energy I have on loving on my children reminding them how much their father loved them and how they absolutely had no control over the outcome of this entire situation. How God had a plan for our lives and reassuring them He still does. God didn’t cause this to happen, however He will sustain us, walk with us and carry us when we need Him through it all. We are choosing to walk by faith and not by sight, because if I am being completely honest none of this makes any sense it wasn’t suppose to be this way yet here we are, this is our journey.
As day light broke the following morning, I could hear the birds chirping and the tree in my view full bloom as if it bloomed overnight. I had not gotten a wink of sleep and while sitting on the couch I happened to look over to see this in our hallway (pictured below)- you see he hung his hat that he wore on the 9th on a cross (He has never hung his hat here- he always hangs his hat in the laundry room on hooks) His hat was hanging on a cross with 3 nails right under another cross that says “It is well with my soul” … Chills went through my body and I immediately broke down in tears as this was a “godwink” and a sign from Q if you will, that we can rest assure in that very promise!
So here is your reminder to live life to its absolute fullest! Live life BIG like Q did, share the love of Christ and what He has done for you and others on the cross, date your spouse, spend intentional time with your kids- cheering them on in their interests and being their safe place to fall, be a truth telling genuine friend, take the trip, take the pic – live life with NO regrets. Faith first and Family and Friends second.
I don’t want Q to be known for the day he died rather the days he lived so I have created and will continue to update periodically a section I created in honor of my late husband “Cooking with Q” HERE with his favorite recipes, his cooking, fun hacks and chock full of wisdom that we call Q’ism’s that he was best known for around our dinner table. May you and your sweet family reclaim the table with a quick and easy crazy busy mama meal and share a Q’ism in effort to be more intentional with your family time.
For this is not goodbye but see you soon Q. Although life with you has been cut short, your blessings permeate and legacy through our children will remain.
Appreciate your continued prayers for my family and especially my sweet kiddos.
For those of you who would like to watch Quintin's Funeral you can do so HERE
Much Love – CBM
UPDATE: 2/25 : The Lingering Question…
Lots of questions asking if Quintin had the Covid vaccine, so I thought I would answer here so facebook and instagram couldn't shut me down for talking about restricted topics. He did not. I know there is a lot of controversy surrounding the vaccine (and rightfully so) I don’t want this to become a hot topic debate but we felt it was the best choice for our family to not take the vaccine. I believe people during this dark time of the pandemic really were trying to make the best decision for their family.
Covid is an ugly virus that I believe was created for death and destruction. Covid has proven to leave traces of MRNA to change the body just like the vaccine. Some people never fully recover from this horrific planted virus and many others are suffering from vaccine injuries that will ever be recorded.
All of it is a mind mess to say the least…
I am so angry because I believe had it not been for the planted pandemic, Quintin would not have had these ailments and suffered so greatly. Breaks my heart into a million pieces.
I know we are not alone in our tragedy! There are so many others who have suffered at the hands of Covid and there is just nothing we can do about it, EXCEPT for to SHARE with one another and learn from this horrible situation.
Like Quintin said in one of his brilliant Q’ism’s that he shared with our children.
“QUESTION EVERYTHING” critical thinking is so incredibly important especially in today’s world! Not everything is what it seems and anyone who gets upset for you questioning should raise an eyebrow. Question. Research. Educate by looking at both sides and make the best informed decision for you and your family! And as Quintin so eloquently said in his “open if an emergency letter” to me, LIVE with absolutely NO REGRETS
Make a decision and then another and live with no regrets!! Every decision builds on the next… no wrong decision-no shame- just a decision that you can change on the next decision.
Inform & EDUCATE!! Once you know better you do better!!
After the outpouring of support and love ❤️ I felt it necessary to add this piece to the puzzle.
Much gratitude & love ❤️
Lori
I am so sorry. I lost one of my twin sons the same way 4 years ago. He was in the ER at a hospital where his wife was the pharmacy director for 15 years and her brother was a surgeon there. They shocked him 25 times. It was his only cardiac event. HIs twin brother who is now 60 just had an ablation to correct an arrythmia. As someone stated above – it is sometimes hereditary and my father died of sudden cardiac arrest at 48, telling a joke at work at the water fountain. Lifting you and your children in love and prayers.
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your son… I can’t even begin to imagine that kind of pain as a mother. Reading your story, all I could think was how much love surrounds him… his wife, his brother, your family… and still, how something like that can happen so suddenly and change everything in an instant.
And your father as well… that kind of loss woven through generations is so heavy to carry. I’m so sorry you’ve had to walk through this more than once.
Thank you for sharing this with me, and for the reminder about the hereditary side of things. That truly means a lot, and it’s something we’ve been mindful of as we care for our kids moving forward.
Most of all, thank you for your prayers and for taking the time to sit in this with me. I know your words will also help others reading feel less alone in their own stories.
If you feel up to sharing… I would love to hear about your son. What was he like? What made him *him*? I’d be honored to hold a piece of his story with you 🤍
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My heart breaks for you and your children I have watch you over the last two years and your energy is so spunky and I love that. The love you had for one another is envious. I know deep down you and your children will be ok. I pray for you guys during this time! I wish I could hug you. I wish I could make your hurt, confusion and pain go away! Only the hood die young is an awful saying but I truly believe it and it’s so sad! Keep your head head held high and know many of us would love to take your pain away.
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
Thank you for seeing me… even in the middle of all of this. That “spunky” part of me has definitely been tested, but it’s still there, and I think in some ways it’s what has helped carry me and my kids through.
What you said about our love… that really touched me. It was something so special, and I’m so grateful we had it, even though it makes the loss that much harder.
And your heart… wishing you could take the pain away… I feel that. I know so many people would if they could. Just you saying that, caring that deeply, means more than you know.
We’re taking it one day at a time, some days heavier than others, but continuing to move forward. Thank you for your prayers, your kindness, and for walking alongside us in this… I’m receiving that hug 🤍
Thankyou for sharing.
You will be a blessing and are to those who are broken by loss. You write so well. The love between you and your husband is stronger than death. It lives on as he does in Gods perfect light. Watch for symptoms of PTSD in all your family.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Wow this brought tears to my eyes. Again I am so very sorry for your loss. I do not know you but I have been following your recipes for awhile now. You are truly an amazing woman and I know it was hard for you share this about your husband. My prayers to you and your beautiful children. May God surround you with love and peace and healing ??
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
Thank you for your kindness and for the way you spoke about our love… that really touched me. I truly believe that too… that love doesn’t end, it just changes form, and we carry it with us every day.
And thank you for mentioning PTSD as well. That’s something we’ve had to be mindful of as a family, and I appreciate you caring enough to say that. Grief shows up in so many different ways, and we’re learning how to walk through it together, one day at a time.
Thank you for being here, for your encouragement, and for speaking life into something so broken. It means more than you know 🤍
Praying for you and your beautiful children.
Ms Lori if you ever need someone to listen I’d be glad to try and help you. I lost my husband 25 years ago. He was 24 years older than I was and we were only together for 5 years but I lost him suddenly also. Sending you and your family love, hugs and Prayers
This is a sad read. YHWH has plans. Look to him and hold his hand. He feels your broken heart. YHWH is so good. He will help you along this journey. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have made it through my husbands death. With him all things are possible. So sorry for your loss
It must have been so difficult to write this account of that awful night. I’m so sorry! It’s my worst nightmare and you’re living it. And your children! God bless you all. I’m sure you’ve heard of all the heart problems and sudden deaths from the Covid shot. There are many support groups out there that may help you one day. Search on IG and you’ll find people with the same story. It may give you some answers. I admire you, Lori, for your openness and honesty. Your love for your children will carry you through. What a gift Q gave you! I’ll continue to pray for you all. I wish I could give you a big hug! Keep putting one foot in front of the other – God is walking with you. ❤️?
She literally said it started in 2020 after an infection and before anyone was vaccinated. Please stop pushing an agenda and let this poor family grieve their tragic loss in peace.
Thank you. I am late to read this but these comments make me sick
What agenda? To let people know (what they already know)? The shots and boosters never prevented Covid. They are killing people. That agenda?
She specifically said he did NOT get the vaccine. Read her story before you comment.
May God watch over You and Your Family . I’m so sorry for your huge loss . I have long Covid too. I was in therapy for almost two years to get off oxygen and to be able to walk around and get thru the day and now on disability because of the attack it took on my body . I pray more Dr will take it more seriously and learn more about it and how to treat it before many more are taken home from it . The worse part of it for me is to hear You look fine while they have no idea the struggles You go thru to try to look fine act fine but never feel completely fine. I’m so thankful He hung his hat there for You to find it and I could never move it . I lost it for You when I saw that . May God continue to walk with You daily and help You on your journey back to Quinton . Your only separated for a season You must go thru then You will be reunited one Glorious day . Thank you for sharing Your heart with us so We can all pray for You . I look for your post everyday to see how Your doing and usually cry and pray for God to help You keep going . I know He is smiling down on You as You keep trying to live each day and to be one day closer to him with each passing day . Grieve as long as You need to don’t let those hurtful people get to You their not Your true faithful followers and they just need something to complain about . I pray they never have to be in your shoes and hear and live what Your going thru . You got his and Your doing the best You can and that’s all God asks of us . Love and hugs and prayers for You and Your Family .
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
Thank you for your kindness and for recognizing how hard it was to write and share that night. Reliving it wasn’t easy, but I do believe there is purpose in sharing, even in the pain.
I also appreciate your heart to help and to offer resources. Just to gently clarify, Q did not receive the Covid shot. At the same time, I’m choosing to keep many of the details surrounding that night private and to trust God with what I don’t fully understand. I hope you can respect that space.
What you said about my children… that is what keeps me going. They are such a gift, and loving them well through all of this is one of the most important things in my life now.
Thank you for your prayers, your encouragement, and for sitting in this with me. And I’m receiving that hug… truly 🤍
I’m so sorry for what your family has had to suffer through and the new normal you find yourself living through. I wish doctors would take Long Covid medical issues more serious. I had COVID in April 2021. It took me 5 months to get over the respiratory symptoms. I also slowly started losing mobility to the point where I now can only walk to the bathroom and back but no further. I can no longer cook my own meals, drive myself anywhere, walk into a doctors office. I have to use a walker or be wheeled in a wheelchair. My 26 year old daughter does the best she can to help me. I finally had my doctor refer me to a Long Covid Clinic here in California. I pray they can decide what is causing my immobility and pray there is a way to reverse it.
Lori we are praying for you and your kids every day. I wish there was more we could do for you, but please know that we are doing that little bit. please take care of yourself during all of this and know that it’s gonna take a lot of time to get used to your new normal, but you will eventually while still being able to look back at the great memories you made with your husband and you will
smile each time you remember him.
May God Bless You All.
First off Lori, im so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cry tears reading your story. I have prayed countkess times for you & your family. May God grant your heart peace & comfort. Ive followed cbm for years. Ive always 100% admired you & Quinton.
I almost died of covid in November 2021 (well i did, but they brought me back) i was in the hospital 2 months.
Im so sorry you have debilitating effects from Covid.
I suffer from post covid health issues. My brain is the biggest struggle, but i am 100% independent now, and mostly functional. This is my new normal, which is hard every day.
Ive begged my dr for ivermectin treatmevt ( i went through anither long bout of covid jan-march this year. She refused it. I ended up talking to my compound pharmacist last month. He told me long covid patients are doing really well with a round of ivermectin treatment, shocking, tight?!!
He then recommended a practitioner who would prescribe it. Im starting today on a 3 week course. The med pulls the remaining covid virus out of you. I am hopeful for more healing. I was also prescribed methelene blue.
This pharmacist told me hes filled prescriptions in 6 states the whole covid pandemic, and not one of those hundreds of patients got so sick they were hospitalized.
I know covid is a man made plague, with certain purposes. They arent hard to figure out. Conspiring men…
I hope and pray you get healing & answers. Continue Advocating for your health,. ???
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
My heart just aches reading your story… what you’ve been walking through physically, the loss of independence, the day to day challenges… that is so much to carry. And the way your daughter is stepping in to care for you… that kind of love is so special, even in the middle of something so hard.
I am so glad you were able to get into a Long Covid clinic… I will be praying they give you answers, direction, and that there is a path forward for healing. Truly. You deserve that.
Thank you for your prayers for me and my kids… that “little bit” you mentioned is not little at all. It means more than you know to be lifted up by someone who is also walking through something so heavy.
And what you said about this new normal… that’s something I’m still learning. Holding both… the grief and the gratitude, the ache and the memories. It’s not easy, but those moments where I can smile remembering him… they are such a gift.
Thank you for sharing your heart here and for allowing me to see a piece of your story too. I know others reading this will feel less alone because of you.
I’m praying for you… for strength, for comfort, and for healing in ways only God can do 🤍
It sounds like he had a beautiful last day. He seems like such a wonderful husband and father. I am so sorry for your loss.
I know your faith will carry you and your family through this grief journey and I am so sorry you are having to take this journey at all. One day at a time sweet lady and be gentle with yourself.
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
Thank you for seeing that… he really did have a beautiful last day, and that is something I hold onto so tightly. It brings me a little bit of peace in the middle of all of this.
He truly was such an incredible husband and father… and I’m so grateful we got the time and memories we did, even though it never feels like enough.
Thank you for your kindness and for taking a moment to honor him with me. It means more than you know 🤍
My mom was 47 when she died of sudden cardiac arrest. That was 16 years ago and I just completed testing at Mayo as sudden cardiac death can be hereditary. Please look into this to ensure your kids don’t carry any underlying issues that could cause this. I didn’t know it could be genetic until recently… no one had ever told me. Even if Covid prompted it, I would still be diligent. I am very sorry for your loss.
What testing did they do?
So sorry for your loss. My mother just passed unexpectedly at 68 from the same thing. Never heard of it in our family but I’m terrified now
Crazy Busy Moma, you & your children are in my prayers. It is so terribly sad, to have your husband & father taken from you like that. But thank You Jesus, HE Never fails nor forsakes us. Just like my sister who had past away early one morning. It was during the Covid scare, & she had had the shots for it, & also had been given shots for being bit by a bat. Everyone who worked in the camp kitchen had been exposed, her husband & 2 or 3 other people. Maybe the combination of the shots, or maybe because the Covid shots caused a clot that went straight to her heart, but no one knows for sure. She was only in her 60s. She was talking to me the day before on FaceTime, we had a great time. She was a Christian, loved life, loved her family, sang & played violin, was working as a volunteer in her church along with her husband to feed the hungry in their neighborhood. Alive one minute, gone the next. We love you & am praying for you. The Lord is & will be covering over you in the coming days & months. It will take time, friend, the Lord is by your side thru thick & thin. You can take as long as you need, but realizing that already you are helping people right where you are. Just look up, dear friend & sister in the Lord. We love you all!
My husband is a board certified internal medicine specialist who warned people to NEVER take those shots! Never! Sudden card deaths are killing tens of thousands because of the side effects. He is treating many patients now with “long Covid” and from the devastating effects from the shots and boosters. I am so so sorry for your enormous loss—forever loss. I know mentioning the effects of the shots may seem inappropriate here, but to keep on denying the truth will only cause more to die needlessly. God be with you and your dear family
Did Q get the vaccine? You are correct. So many are dying suddenly, especially young athletes who were required to get the vax. I follow Dr Peter McCullough, Dr Pierre Kory, Dr Ryan Cole and others who confirmed that the spike proteins in the MRNA vaccines cause clots and lead to cardiac arrest. It’s a crime against humanity that these have not been removed. It is all a part of the WEF depopulation agenda. Very evil times in which we live. An article today came out today about a young 22 yr old athlete who died as a result of the vax.
https://1819news.com/news/item/father-of-deceased-ua-baseball-player-says-son-died-after-being-pressured-by-coaches-to-get-covid-19-vaccine
Hi Geraldine, I have had major health problems sense getting long covid. My nervous system has attacked my breathing. I did NOT get the vaccine because I’ve had issues with a vaccine prior to the pandemic. So, I was wondering could you somehow lead me to your specialist husband because I don’t know anyone who has been able to help me with long covid. I feel so bad for Lori & the family. I have posted my concise story on YouTube and hope to have some remedies to share with people as I get my nervous system regulated. I also had badddd diaphragm spasms during covid and now 3 years later pain in that area and like I said breathing problems…signals not being sent to my brain to breath at times. This is my email if you rather send me info there. Please and thank you. 614healthandwellnessmom@gmail.com
I’m glad you mentioned the shots if only because it validates my own thinking. Thank you
I agree completely, my husband had to get the shot because of his job, it caused him to get cancer, can I prove that? No but I know in my heart it is true, I lost him July 5, he was only 54 and healthy until the shot, we were married 31 years, he was my best friend and the love of my life, he was a great dad and overall really good person 💔
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your mom… 47 is so young, and I can only imagine how that kind of sudden loss stays with you, even all these years later.
Thank you for sharing this with me and for caring enough to gently encourage us to look into it. That truly means a lot. These are things you don’t always think about in the middle of grief, and hearing from someone who has walked it brings a different kind of awareness.
We have been mindful about our kids and their health, and I really appreciate you speaking into that with such kindness.
Thank you again for your compassion and for taking the time to share your story here. It matters more than you know 🤍
Lori, Thank you for sharing this. I pray it will be a step to healing. The Lord is our strength and I am praying for you to have that strength. You have been an inspiration to me and I am glad to say we are sisters in Christ and I look forward to knowing you (and Q) in heaven one day! Love, Sheryl Lewis
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, and I can’t imagine what that must feel like. Even more so having to grieve in the public eye. That there are heartless bullies out there who would effectively kick you while you’re down makes me ill. Like a traumatic experience is something you can just switch off at any time……
I posted this on my facebook page nine years ago, and I hope it helps to comfort you today.
My heart is heavy tonight as I think of those who have lost loved ones (by death, dementia, or separation) and are facing their first year or yet another with the feeling of emptiness. (Myself included.) I don’t believe grieving is a once and done event. It can be drawn out, raw, spontaneous, and painful. But it can also be inspiring, centering and healing. I simply pray that you know you are loved, and you take the time to process every emotion. Don’t just go through the motions, because that can cause depression. If you need to talk, speak up because some of us haven’t learned mind reading yet, but we still care. 🙂 Loneliness is real, but it’s also something we can change. <3
Father along we will know all about it. Father along we will understand why. I pray for you and your kids often. And keep being present and more prayers will follow. God has a plan thru the pain. We know there are trials and tribulations ahead of us we read of it in His word. Your faith is holding you up. Gods promises are holding you together.
It is well with his soul and Q’s hat was such a reassuring treasure to find when you woke the next morning.
There are no tears in heaven -another song brought to mind. What a day of rejoicing it will be when you are reunited again. Thank you for sharing such an hard time in your life. We will be in your shoes one day. I pray I can be strong in those times.
In Christian love,Sara
This brought me to tears as I felt like I relived what your family went through. ? Sending you all prayers for some peace and healing.
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
I’m so sorry this brought you to tears… I never want to cause pain, but I do understand how these kinds of stories can bring everything right back to the surface. Grief has a way of doing that… it doesn’t stay in the past, it shows up in moments we don’t expect.
Thank you for sitting in it with me anyway… and for your prayers for peace and healing. That means more than I can say.
If you feel comfortable, I’d love to know what part of the story stayed with you… or what it stirred up for you. You’re not alone in that feeling, and I know others here would understand too 🤍
I can only imagine the horrible feeling it would be to lose my husband while laying beside me watching TV, which we do often, almost every night. I pray for you and your family often. I pray for you to find peace that only our Heavenly Father can give. Keep sharing your feelings with others especially family and close friends so they can help and be by your side daily. May God bless you with comfort and may your children also find comfort and happiness in this sad situation.
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
Thank you for your prayers… truly. There is something so comforting in knowing people are lifting us up, even from afar. And what you said about those ordinary moments… sitting side by side, watching TV… those are the ones that feel the most sacred now. The everyday things you never think twice about become the ones you miss the most.
I’m still learning how to share, how to lean on the people around me, and how to let others in… but you’re right, we’re not meant to carry this alone.
Thank you for your kindness, for caring about my children, and for speaking such gentle encouragement over us. It means more than you know 🤍
Lori,
Soo sorry for not only your loss, but for those who have been hurtful to you and your family.
My mother lived many years with an electrical disease. I myself live with SVT or rapid heart rates and they are scary while in the middle of an episode but even more it is how it affects my family and their uncertainty.
All the best wishes to you and your family. You did what you could then and each day you move forward you honor your friend, husband, father of your children..
Grief is bot something you conquer, go thru, move beyond. It is something that you learn to live with and feel wholeheartedly and become better…
Laurie
I wish and your family the very best! I have followed you for A long time and my heart is breaking for you ! Stay strong….. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Laurie,
Yet another sleepless night, I come across your reel. I just knew instantly that we shared the same grief. I didn’t know how much until I read your April oth blog. For me an my family it was Jan 11th when our lives changed forever from the same cause. I wish I was home at the time instead of my 19 year old daughter who was wrap around his finger. All I can do is just Pray God gets us through this life without him.
Laurie,
Yet another sleepless night, I come across your reel. I just knew instantly that we shared the same grief. I didn’t know how much until I read your April oth blog. For me an my family it was Jan 11th , 8:42 am when our lives changed forever from the same cause. My Scott did have a history of Afib , had ablations performed 13 years prior, was on max dose of BP meds, heart rhythm meds and it still was not enough. I wish I was home at the time instead of my 19 year old daughter who was wrap around his finger. I had left for work and my daughter was sleeping , when he woke her up to call 911. In minutes he collapsed and She performed CPR for 19 minutes because we live in a rural area. The emotions are indescribable. I hide my pain as best as I can and went back to work to keep me from going crazy .All I can do is just Pray God gets us through this life without him. You and your family are on my prayers. Tonight, I think you were a Godwink that we are not alone in this unbearable grief!
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still meet me right where I am 🤍
I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your Scott… reading your story, I could feel every second of that morning. The helplessness, the shock, the way everything changes in an instant. And your daughter… my heart just aches for her. Nineteen minutes… that is something no child should ever have to carry, and yet she showed such incredible strength in the middle of the unthinkable.
That kind of loss… it doesn’t just touch one part of your life, it touches everything. The what ifs, the wishing you were there, the replaying of moments… I know how loud those can be. And going back to work, trying to function, trying to hold it together on the outside while everything inside feels shattered… I understand that too.
What you said about praying God just gets you through this life without him… I have prayed that same prayer. Sometimes that’s all we have… just asking for enough strength for the next moment.
And I truly believe this… you coming across that reel, reading the blog, and finding your way here… that’s not by accident. A Godwink, just like you said. A reminder that even in this kind of grief, we are not alone.
If you feel up to it, I would love for you to share more about Scott… what made him him, what your favorite things were about him. Speaking their names, sharing their stories… it keeps their love moving forward in such a meaningful way, and I know others here will hold that with you too.
I’m praying for you and your children… especially your daughter. For comfort, for peace in the middle of the memories, and for strength for each new day.
You are not alone in this 🤍
Oh my heart hurts for you. My brother-in-law passed away 7 years ago from his heart stopping. He had a life-long disease that we knew would ultimately take him, but nothing prepares you for losing a 23-year-old, or, in your case, a 46-year-old. Reading this I held my breath as I read about the CPR and desperate prayers for a miracle. My husband held his brother’s hand as his sister carried out CPR until the arrival of the ambulance. I was away on a women’s retreat and will never forget the women who surrounded me immediately in prayer as I cried out. My prayers continue for you and your family. Though strangers in this life, you are all my brothers and sisters in Christ and I know that only leaning into Jesus will bring you through until you meet again in heaven. Light will come again, but the ache of loss will ebb and flow like waves as time passes.
So so sorry this had to happen to Q and your family. I’m sitting here crying as my heart breaks for your whole family. There are no word. I’m praying for God to get you through these days. May you find peace and strength in the days ahead. ???
Lori, I will try to not make this too long. How did I happen to get here tonight? I was going through messages in FB and came across your name. I thought, hmmm….haven’t seen any posts from her for a long time. I went to your page and of course, saw the news about your beloved Quintin. I don’t even have the words, except to say I am so, so sorry for your loss and your children’s loss of their father. You had a blessed life together and now he is with our Lord and they are preparing for your homecoming as well. How wonderful to know that you will spend eternity with those you love. I then came to this page and was fine reading everything until I got to your picture of the crosses on the wall and saw his cap hanging there. I lost it. I am grieving for you and your family. I know you want to do what Quintin would want you to do, and that is to love and care for your children while bringing joy to others, because that is who you are. Yes, those other days will still come, but I am praying that you will find joy in the wonderful memories you all share and the Lord’s peace will be in your heart in knowing where Q now is. I hope this will in no way be upsetting or dredge up more sad feelings, but since I just found out, it is so new to me. Let your strong faith continue to guide you and you will be a witness to your children and others of the strength and courage you possess. I am keeping all of you in prayer. God bless you.
Lori, God Bless you for sharing this. We are all praying for you & your Q in heaven. Something similar happen to my sister after her last booster, many tests but no real conclusions. Thankfully she is still with us.
I hope this post brings light to the fact how to share the joy of each day. None of us a guaranteed.
God Bless
Have her see a functional neuro and do a test for POTS. My son now 21 Had covid booster before returning to college (they said he must) ended up with myocarditis snd eventually a really high heart rate that has altered his life forever.
You can do an informal test yourself by taking resting heart rate, sitting, standing and then every minute for 10 min while standing still. Sadly there is little knowledge and even less treatment for POTS.
What is POTS?
Postural Tachycardia Syndrome
Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome
ETA: sorry I missed a word in my last comment. This is POTS.
@ Faith Mills our
Daughter has pots disease after the lovely Covid. They say it brought it out in her.?? Needless to say we fight pots daily. Heart rate has been up to 238 and dropped to 30. What are still figuring things out. What are they doing for your son? What are they doing with the myocarditis? How do you know the difference in the two. I feel like we are just at the doctors mercy. When you know your child is different and you can tell something is going on. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks! Tonie Goodin
Propranolol is a great medication for POTS.
Lori, I just came here to hug you across this screen. That’s all. Let the world just stop a moment and feel this long and sincere hug.
I felt this… thank you 🤍
There are days where words don’t even touch it, and a simple “hug” means more than anything else. I’m receiving that today, truly.
Thank you for taking a moment to sit in this with me… it means more than you know. And I know others reading feel it too. We’re not alone in this, even on the hardest days 🤍
I will pray that God comforts and strengthens you and your precious children each day.
Thank you for sharing your Q. I am looking forward to checking out the recipies.
Praying for you & your family.
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear of negative responses but will pray for those ppl as well. Take care & keep doing what you do! Love ur videos when I see them.
God BLESS You and Your family Many PRAYERS
Thank you so much 🤍
Your prayers truly mean more than I could ever put into words… we feel them, we really do. Covering my kids in prayer is one of the greatest gifts you could give us.
And thank you for wanting to know Q… that means everything to me. Sharing him, his life, and the love we had is such a big part of my heart behind all of this.
I’m so glad you’re here… whether it’s for the recipes, the stories, or both. This space is for all of it 🤍
I lost my first husband in 09 from swine flu I understand love and much prayers .
It is heartbreaking enough to lose her dear husband, but with all the negative comments, I just can’t imagine. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. How fortunate you are to have your loving family beside you and a Multitude of friends and fans. We appreciate you being so candid and although it was hard to relive it all over again, it will probably help someone out there in some way. I have always loved your enthusiasm and positivity. You can do this. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Sending love and prayers.
I read something once that said something to the effect of… God does give us more than “we” can handle… Because “we” can’t do anything without Him! He is the only way a person can get through something like this (and come out changed and for the better on the other end).
Sometimes it does feel like it’s way too much for a heart to bear. There are such hard things in this life. But because of a Christ in us, He will help us through it/them.
This stuck out to me in a very hard time because it validated my feelings and reminded me of how much God loves us and wants us to draw near to Him. And Jesus went through so much for us… he understands every feeling we have and even when we are angry or sad or not understanding, He is still right there next to us, waiting for us to turn to Him so that He can be our Comforter. ❤️
I absolutely believe in this too! Thank you for sharing this message. Because it’s sp true.Bless U.
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
Thank you for believing in this with me and for taking the time to say that. There is something so powerful about knowing others see it too… that even in the middle of something so heartbreaking, there can still be purpose and truth.
Thank you for being here, for receiving it, and for speaking that encouragement back. It truly means more than you know 🤍
The Bible does not promise God will not give us more than we can handle. It does promise God will give us what we need to handle what comes our way, as long as we rely on Him. Your story is, and will continue to be, a testimony of faith.
So devastating. God bless you and your children.
Thank you so much for this 🤍
It really has been a lot… losing him alone was more than enough, and walking through the noise and opinions on top of that has been hard in a different way. But I keep coming back to what I know is true… God is still here in it, even when it’s messy and heavy.
I’m so grateful for my family and for this community… truly. You all have carried me in ways I can’t even explain.
And sharing it… as hard as it is to relive… I do believe it matters. If even one person feels less alone or finds a little bit of hope in the middle of their own grief, then it’s worth it.
Thank you for your kindness, your prayers, and for being here with me in this. It means more than you know 🤍
My heart breaks for you and the kids. I lost my mom when she was 49 I was 23 and now am 68 . Mom died suddenly she was to go to Carl Clinic on Thursday and she woke up on Monday looked at dad and said wish it was Thursday and was gone this was back in 1978. I had a 2 year old son at the time . Had lost my daughter that same year she was stillborn went on and had two more children and 10 grandkids and 2 great grandkids. Life has gone on but life has gone on many of good days but that day and the days before and after are very much are still with me. Mom was my rock talking about her as you do about Q will get you and the children through this rough period. Love and hugs it’s ok to do you.
I just read this I’m thinking of you and your family I love the beautiful photo on the beach your so right about everything you said god bless you all please feel free to reach out to me if you need to talk I follow you on instagram ?❤️
Thank you so much 🤍
That truly means a lot… your kindness, your prayers, and just taking the time to read and sit in it with us. The beach photo holds such a special place in my heart… I’m so grateful we have those moments captured.
And thank you for offering to be there… that is so kind of you. This community really is such a gift.
I’m so glad you’re here and walking alongside us 🤍
I am heartbroken to hear about the sudden loss of your husband. My heart aches for you and your children during this unimaginable time. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
May you find comfort in the love of those around you, and may God’s peace surround you and your family. I pray that you are given the strength to face each day, and that you feel the support and love from all those who care so deeply for you.
Please reach out if there’s anything you need, or if you just want to talk. I’m here for you, always.
My husband has been battling MDS leukemia for the past few years. Had a bone marrow transplant last year and unfortunately now has a bacterial deadly pneumonia. I do his IV antibiotics each and everyday but no improvement. My children and I have been going through a nightmare fearing him not making this. We are all devastated. I am his 24 hour a day caregiver because I refuse to give up on him. You came across my page and I started following you and just bursted into tears for you and your sweet family. God bless you all and give you the strength.
With deepest sympathy and love,
Liz M.
Liz… I don’t even have the right words, but I want you to know I’m sitting with this and holding your story so gently 🤍
Thank you for your kindness and your prayers… they truly mean more than I can say. But my heart is also just breaking for *you*. What you and your children are walking through right now… that kind of fear, the unknown, the exhaustion of loving someone so deeply and fighting alongside them every single day… it’s so heavy.
The way you are showing up for your husband… caring for him, refusing to give up, loving him so faithfully in the middle of all of this… that is such a beautiful, selfless kind of love. I hope you know that. Even on the days where it feels like too much, what you’re doing matters so deeply.
I’m praying for you… for strength when you feel depleted, for moments of peace in the middle of the chaos, and for God to be so near to you and your family right now. I’m also praying for your husband… for healing, for comfort, and for God’s covering over him.
And please hear this too… you don’t have to carry this alone. Even caregivers need care. Even the strong ones need someone to lean on. I’m really grateful you shared this here, because I know there are others reading who understand this exact kind of waiting and fighting and loving.
If you feel up to it, I’d love to know your husband’s name so we can all be praying for him specifically. And if anyone else reading this has walked through something similar, I’d love for you to surround Liz and her family with prayer here too 🤍
You’re not alone in this, even though I know it can feel that way. I’m so glad you’re here.
Lori..u truly are an amazing woman of God. I’m so sorry u have to go through this …..and ur BEAUTIFUL children. Even though HE said HE is close to the broken-hearted…..it’s hard…..
.My Love n Prayers continue and I know ? our Lord will comfort n give u Peace…as HIS word promises.
I am an RN ..who refused the vaccine and was punished for it…but God came through and I’m back!
I was devastated BUT God used this experience in my life.
Your husband was truly special and I know I’ll meet him one day! And U!! I was wondering if Q got the vaccine?
If u want to comment ok if not ok….
Love n Prayers
I am so sorry it has taken me this long to come back and read and respond… it’s been almost two years, and even now these words still meet me right where I am 🤍
Thank you for your kindness, your prayers, and for seeing me and my children in such a tender way. What you said about God being close to the brokenhearted… you’re right, and you’re also right that it’s still so hard. That has been one of the biggest tensions of grief for me… knowing He is near, while still feeling the weight of the loss so deeply.
I’m also grateful you shared part of your story with me. Walking through something that shook your life and seeing how God carried you through it… that matters. He really does meet us in places we never would have chosen.
As far as your question about Q, I did end up about a year later updating my blog on this very thing as it was a resounding question for so many. I hope you can understand that there are some pieces I hold close, just to protect what was his and what was ours.
But truly… thank you for being here, for loving my family from afar, and for continuing to pray. It means more than I can say, even all this time later 🤍
thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story, my heart breaks for you all. I lost my love suddenly at 46 due to car accident and sadly empathize to all over so much of the dishwasher feelings of love & lost. you’re doing the absolute best you can keep taking care of you. grief is such a difficult & endless journey. sending you my condolences and peace.
I am so sorry it has taken me so long to come back and respond… it’s been almost two years, and your words still mean so much to me 🤍
I am so deeply sorry for your loss… losing your love suddenly like that changes everything. There’s just something about that kind of loss that shakes your whole world, and I hate that you understand this kind of pain.
What you said about grief being a difficult and endless journey… that is so true. It’s not something we move on from, it’s something we learn to carry. Some days feel heavier than others, but we keep going, one step at a time.
Thank you for your kindness, your empathy, and for taking the time to share your story with me. It reminds me how many of us are walking this road together, even when it feels so lonely.
If you feel up to sharing… what has helped you even just a little along the way? I know others reading this could be encouraged by your perspective too 🤍