Just Do the Next Thing: A Christian Grief Reminder for When Life Feels Too Heavy After Loss

Grief doesnโ€™t arrive quietly as often portrayed in the movies.

It crashes into your life while dinner still needs to be made, bills still need to be paid, and kids still need help with homework. It doesnโ€™t pause your responsibilities. It multiplies themโ€”right when your heart feels like it has nothing left to give.

After my husband Quintin died, I quickly learned that grief isnโ€™t just emotional. Itโ€™s logistical. Itโ€™s paperwork and phone calls and decisions you never imagined making alone. Taxes. Insurance. Social Security. Retitling a car that used to have his name on it. Answering questions you donโ€™t have the energy to process, let alone explain.

Quintin

Suddenly, the full weight of our household landed squarely on my shoulders. The roles doubled. The margin disappeared. And my capacity? It felt like it shrank to zero.

There were days I could barely breathe. Nights I stared at the ceiling, wondering how I would survive this version of lifeโ€”this life without him. I wasnโ€™t asking for five years down the road. I was asking how I would make it through tomorrow.

And thenโ€ฆ I found something that didnโ€™t fix my griefโ€”but gave me a way to live inside it.

A Poem That Became My Lifeline

When everything felt overwhelmingโ€”both the big things and the small thingsโ€”I leaned on a few simple lines from an old Saxton poem. It was a poem treasured by widowed missionary Elisabeth Elliott, and it became treasured by me too.

I want to pause here, because this poem matters. I reference it in my Coffee Chat, and if youโ€™re reading this while walking through grief, I hope youโ€™ll sit with it the way I did.

โ€œDo it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe โ€™neath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing.โ€

Those last four wordsโ€”do the next thingโ€”changed everything for me.

Not because they made life easier.
But because they made life survivable.

When Grief Makes the Future Feel Impossible

In grief, the future feels cruel. Overwhelming. Unrealistic. People ask questions like, โ€œHow are you going to do this alone?โ€ or โ€œWhatโ€™s your plan?โ€โ€”and you want to scream because you canโ€™t even figure out whatโ€™s for dinner.

Memorial Picture with Q

That poem gave me permission to stop looking so far ahead.

I printed it out. Traced the words with colorful markers. Stuck it on my fridge where I couldnโ€™t avoid it. And every dayโ€”sometimes every hourโ€”I came back to the same question:

What is the next thing?

Not the whole list.
Not the future.
Not the years without him.

Just the next thing.

Get out of bed.
Eat breakfast.
Wake up my son.
Answer one email.
Make one phone call.

Thatโ€™s it.

And somehow, by doing the next thing, I made it through hours that turned into daysโ€ฆ days into weeksโ€ฆ weeks into years.

God Never Asked Us to Carry Tomorrow

Jesus understood this long before grief taught me.

In Matthew 6:34, He says:

โ€œTherefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.โ€

That verse hits differently when youโ€™re grieving.

Jesus doesnโ€™t deny that life is hard. He doesnโ€™t minimize the trouble. He simply reminds us that today already carries enough weightโ€”and we were never meant to shoulder tomorrow too.

Grief tries to make you solve everything at once.
Faith invites you to take life one step at a time.

Love Like Jesus Mug and Cross

Grace Shows Up in the Smallest Steps

There is a verse I clung to when my strength was gone:

โ€œMy grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.โ€ (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I didnโ€™t feel strong. I felt broken. But grace met me in the smallnessโ€”in doing the next thing even when it felt insignificant.

And slowly, without realizing it, I began living into the role God had entrusted to me. Not because I wanted it. Not because I was ready. But because He was faithful.

If Youโ€™re Grieving Todayโ€ฆ

If youโ€™re reading this and youโ€™re in the thick of griefโ€”barely functioning, overwhelmed by responsibilities, unsure how youโ€™ll keep goingโ€”hear this:

You donโ€™t have to do everything.
You donโ€™t have to figure out the future.
You donโ€™t have to be strong.

You just have to do the next thing.

And when you do, youโ€™ll find that God is already thereโ€”steady, present, and carrying the weight you were never meant to hold alone.


๐Ÿ’ฌ Iโ€™d love to hear from you in the comments:
What is one โ€œnext thingโ€ youโ€™re choosing to do today?
And if this spoke to you, please share it with someone who might need it too.

You are not alone. ๐Ÿค

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  1. Thank you for sharing this. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, just doing the next thing. Lost my mom 16 days ago. it comes in waves of emotions . Iโ€™m grateful for this message. May God bless you and your family. ๐Ÿ™

    1. Iโ€™m so very sorry ๐Ÿค sixteen days is still so raw, and those waves of emotion are so real. Taking it minute by minute truly is enough right now. Iโ€™m grateful my words could meet you in this space, and Iโ€™m praying Godโ€™s comfort surrounds you as you grieve your mom. ๐Ÿ™

    1. That feeling is so real ๐Ÿค seven months in, everything can feel heavy and uncertain. Sometimes the โ€œrightโ€ next thing is just the kind next thing for yourself. Youโ€™re doing the best you can with what youโ€™re carryingโ€”and thatโ€™s enough.

  2. Hi Lori,
    I have been following your journey for a while, even before my husband passed, when he was sick. He passed on October 31st, 2024. Iโ€™m in thick of grief and Iโ€™m doing the best I can. Thank God I have my children and grandchildren who give me purpose. I went back to work and Iโ€™m doing the next thing every day. Thank you for your courage, strength and hope.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this ๐Ÿค Iโ€™m so sorry about the loss of your husband. Being in the thick of grief and still showing upโ€”loving your children and grandchildren, going back to work, doing the next thingโ€”takes so much strength. Iโ€™m honored my words can bring a little hope as you walk this road. One day, one step at a time. ๐Ÿ’›

  3. Thank you for all you do. My husband passed 7 months ago and each week I find comfort and direction in your words. I appreciate you so much.

    1. Thank you so much ๐Ÿค Iโ€™m truly honored my words can bring you comfort during such a tender time. Seven months is still so raw. Please know Iโ€™m holding you close in prayer and am grateful youโ€™re here.

  4. Just wanted to thank you for being a willing instrument to be used by the Lord to encourage others to fix their eyes on God. Heโ€™s the best advice to give anyone for anything!
    My mom died in December and now I am having to become guardian of my sister who is 5 years older. This is the most stressful thing I have ever had to go through. Iโ€™m a very calm, easy going person and love it when I have the chance to be at home. She is completely polar opposite!! The court date is set for March, and once I have obtained guardianship thatโ€™s when my life will change tremendously.
    Reading what you have gone through and are still going through sounds a lot like where Iโ€™ll see myself in the near future even though our situations are entirely different.
    Thank you again for your insight! I have prayed for you and your children! ๐Ÿ’›

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this ๐Ÿค Iโ€™m so sorry about the loss of your mom, and I can only imagine how heavy this season feels with everything youโ€™re stepping into. What youโ€™re doing for your sister is incredibly selfless, even when it feels overwhelming. Iโ€™m praying for peace, strength, and wisdom as March approaches, and Iโ€™m so grateful my words could encourage you in some small way. Your prayers mean more than you know ๐Ÿ’›

  5. When I have struggled my favorite quote is:
    ” Don’t let your fears or worries become your thoughts”.

    It matches yours DO THE NEXT THING.
    ๐Ÿ™

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