Grief doesnโt arrive quietly as often portrayed in the movies.
It crashes into your life while dinner still needs to be made, bills still need to be paid, and kids still need help with homework. It doesnโt pause your responsibilities. It multiplies themโright when your heart feels like it has nothing left to give.
After my husband Quintin died, I quickly learned that grief isnโt just emotional. Itโs logistical. Itโs paperwork and phone calls and decisions you never imagined making alone. Taxes. Insurance. Social Security. Retitling a car that used to have his name on it. Answering questions you donโt have the energy to process, let alone explain.

Suddenly, the full weight of our household landed squarely on my shoulders. The roles doubled. The margin disappeared. And my capacity? It felt like it shrank to zero.
There were days I could barely breathe. Nights I stared at the ceiling, wondering how I would survive this version of lifeโthis life without him. I wasnโt asking for five years down the road. I was asking how I would make it through tomorrow.
And thenโฆ I found something that didnโt fix my griefโbut gave me a way to live inside it.
A Poem That Became My Lifeline
When everything felt overwhelmingโboth the big things and the small thingsโI leaned on a few simple lines from an old Saxton poem. It was a poem treasured by widowed missionary Elisabeth Elliott, and it became treasured by me too.
I want to pause here, because this poem matters. I reference it in my Coffee Chat, and if youโre reading this while walking through grief, I hope youโll sit with it the way I did.
โDo it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe โneath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing.โ
Those last four wordsโdo the next thingโchanged everything for me.
Not because they made life easier.
But because they made life survivable.
When Grief Makes the Future Feel Impossible
In grief, the future feels cruel. Overwhelming. Unrealistic. People ask questions like, โHow are you going to do this alone?โ or โWhatโs your plan?โโand you want to scream because you canโt even figure out whatโs for dinner.

That poem gave me permission to stop looking so far ahead.
I printed it out. Traced the words with colorful markers. Stuck it on my fridge where I couldnโt avoid it. And every dayโsometimes every hourโI came back to the same question:
What is the next thing?
Not the whole list.
Not the future.
Not the years without him.
Just the next thing.
Get out of bed.
Eat breakfast.
Wake up my son.
Answer one email.
Make one phone call.
Thatโs it.
And somehow, by doing the next thing, I made it through hours that turned into daysโฆ days into weeksโฆ weeks into years.
God Never Asked Us to Carry Tomorrow
Jesus understood this long before grief taught me.
In Matthew 6:34, He says:
โTherefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.โ
That verse hits differently when youโre grieving.
Jesus doesnโt deny that life is hard. He doesnโt minimize the trouble. He simply reminds us that today already carries enough weightโand we were never meant to shoulder tomorrow too.
Grief tries to make you solve everything at once.
Faith invites you to take life one step at a time.

Grace Shows Up in the Smallest Steps
There is a verse I clung to when my strength was gone:
โMy grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.โ (2 Corinthians 12:9)
I didnโt feel strong. I felt broken. But grace met me in the smallnessโin doing the next thing even when it felt insignificant.
And slowly, without realizing it, I began living into the role God had entrusted to me. Not because I wanted it. Not because I was ready. But because He was faithful.
If Youโre Grieving Todayโฆ
If youโre reading this and youโre in the thick of griefโbarely functioning, overwhelmed by responsibilities, unsure how youโll keep goingโhear this:
You donโt have to do everything.
You donโt have to figure out the future.
You donโt have to be strong.
You just have to do the next thing.
And when you do, youโll find that God is already thereโsteady, present, and carrying the weight you were never meant to hold alone.
๐ฌ Iโd love to hear from you in the comments:
What is one โnext thingโ youโre choosing to do today?
And if this spoke to you, please share it with someone who might need it too.
You are not alone. ๐ค
Thank you for sharing this. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, just doing the next thing. Lost my mom 16 days ago. it comes in waves of emotions . Iโm grateful for this message. May God bless you and your family. ๐
Iโm so very sorry ๐ค sixteen days is still so raw, and those waves of emotion are so real. Taking it minute by minute truly is enough right now. Iโm grateful my words could meet you in this space, and Iโm praying Godโs comfort surrounds you as you grieve your mom. ๐
7 months in and hoping I pick the correct next thing. So many decisions to be made
That feeling is so real ๐ค seven months in, everything can feel heavy and uncertain. Sometimes the โrightโ next thing is just the kind next thing for yourself. Youโre doing the best you can with what youโre carryingโand thatโs enough.
Hi Lori,
I have been following your journey for a while, even before my husband passed, when he was sick. He passed on October 31st, 2024. Iโm in thick of grief and Iโm doing the best I can. Thank God I have my children and grandchildren who give me purpose. I went back to work and Iโm doing the next thing every day. Thank you for your courage, strength and hope.
Thank you so much for sharing this ๐ค Iโm so sorry about the loss of your husband. Being in the thick of grief and still showing upโloving your children and grandchildren, going back to work, doing the next thingโtakes so much strength. Iโm honored my words can bring a little hope as you walk this road. One day, one step at a time. ๐
Thank you for all you do. My husband passed 7 months ago and each week I find comfort and direction in your words. I appreciate you so much.
Thank you so much ๐ค Iโm truly honored my words can bring you comfort during such a tender time. Seven months is still so raw. Please know Iโm holding you close in prayer and am grateful youโre here.
Just wanted to thank you for being a willing instrument to be used by the Lord to encourage others to fix their eyes on God. Heโs the best advice to give anyone for anything!
My mom died in December and now I am having to become guardian of my sister who is 5 years older. This is the most stressful thing I have ever had to go through. Iโm a very calm, easy going person and love it when I have the chance to be at home. She is completely polar opposite!! The court date is set for March, and once I have obtained guardianship thatโs when my life will change tremendously.
Reading what you have gone through and are still going through sounds a lot like where Iโll see myself in the near future even though our situations are entirely different.
Thank you again for your insight! I have prayed for you and your children! ๐
Thank you so much for sharing this ๐ค Iโm so sorry about the loss of your mom, and I can only imagine how heavy this season feels with everything youโre stepping into. What youโre doing for your sister is incredibly selfless, even when it feels overwhelming. Iโm praying for peace, strength, and wisdom as March approaches, and Iโm so grateful my words could encourage you in some small way. Your prayers mean more than you know ๐
Income taxes today . First for me. I can do this. I have a great CPA
Yes you can! You can do hard things!
When I have struggled my favorite quote is:
” Don’t let your fears or worries become your thoughts”.
It matches yours DO THE NEXT THING.
๐
wow…that is a good one!!